From New York to LA

This song has been stuck in my head since seeing Pam Ann last week .. and I love it!
In other news. Iron Man.
What fun!
Great comic book adventure movie. The effects are great, even if the story does feel like a big set up for a franchise .. but aren't they all these days?
There are lots of very nice nods for Marvelites .... the SHIELD running joke is superb, if a tad obvious to anyone who has read any related comic material.
Robert DJ is a very dry Tony Stark, equally at home with his humour as his serious moments. A lot of the performance is in his eyes, a sign of a great actor. So glad he was cast - this would have been shit with a Cruise/Pitt/Clooney in the starring role. And Jeff Bridges is very woof. Who knew he'd make such a nice Daddy? Gwyneth makes a very sweet Pepper, all fawning eyes and sighs.
Iron Man isn't a comic I have read a great deal of (mainly just Civil War really) but I feel this does the characters justice.
Pus we had a brand new Indy trailer that I didn't even know was coming. I think I had a bit of wee come out i was so excited. Also had the new Hulk trailer. Meh. I liked Ang lee's one frankly.

10,000 BC

Just don't go and see it. Its two hours you'll never get back and your life will be ten years shorter.
If only somebody had said that to me before I went in to the flicks last night.
Effects: hit and miss. Script: possibly didn't exist but entire film was based on an improvisation made by some year 4 kids as part of a project.
I am no historian but I am sure this is massively factually inaccurate too.
The story such as it is: tribe live on top of snowy mountain. They have a wise old woman who is great for mild comedy relief .. what? She is supposed to be the drama? Oh. Well, anyway, she prophesies the coming of some four legged demons (blokes on horses) and a blue eyed girl who will bring salvation to the people or some such nonsense. Blue eyed girl comes, grows up, gets kidnapped by ugly blokes on horses so tribe set off to rescue her. Possibly because they are bored of snow cones to eat. Along the way, on a great journey (we know its a long journey as we go from mountains to jungle to desert) many join the quest with spears and relevant face armour. You have to love the wearing-bamboo-on-their-faces tribe who look so ridiculous I disturbed the rest of the audience, who had nodded off, with my raucous laughter. Some bollocks about a stat later and we are watching Mastodons help build the pyramids. Which started out as the great Pyramids of Giza and then became another set entirely from what I could gather. The Almighty is over seeing all of this, aided by a bunch of panto dames with long nails. Of course, the hero prevails, and The Almighty is revealed to be .. gasp! ... a white man! Suddenly, I see where it had been going all along. Its an American film made by a German bloke apologising for white mans treatment of native peoples around the world. Which is a fair point, but has been done so many times before so much better.
Oh, and one of them is called Tick Tick. Really. And the hero saves a drowning Sabre Tooth ... which remembers him and decides not to eat him - twice. Because that would happen.
If you find yourself considering this film, sit at home and remove all your toenails with a garden spade instead, its less painful.

Being Human

I have been looking forward to seeing this BBC3 'pilot' for some time, so you can imagine my horror sat on the loo last night, reading about it, to find it had literally just finished.
Luckily, we live in this wonderous age of technology, so I managed to to catch it on my lunch break on the BBC Iplayer.
And thank Dame Billie Piper I did! It was fantastic!
The premise is that a Vampire and a Werewolf are mates and decide to get a flat together. Cue lots of scenes of the not entirely unattractive Russell Tovey (George the werewolf) butt nekkid. Via a delightful scene with a bit of an old fashioned estate agent mistaking them for a gay couple, they move in. And then weird shit starts to happen. A defrosted chicken nails itself to a cupboard, things move .... because they happen to have picked a flat that has a resident ghost. To fill out the pilot we have a plotline about George's last serious girlfriend, who thought he was dead after he got bitten (as it seems do all of his family), demanding answers and a seemingly Blade-esque vampire 'underworld' (yes, reference intentional) that threatens to take over the human world - of which, I would guess, the bulk of a series proper would develop.
The writing from Toby Whitehouse is natural, amusing and almost comforting - during the setting up of the flat I continually found myself watching George, thinking "oh shit - that's me". The performances are very strong indeed. Having been impressed with Russell in Voyage of the Damned as Midshipman Alonzo Frame, I shall certainly be seeking out further works of his from here.
Summing up - if you made overlapping circles of Friends, This Life, Blade and Underworld, this would be the bit you coloured in in the middle... but with a colour all its own.

Just a quick one......

... you know, if you are passing my way.
Anyhoo....
Have 15 mins until my lunch is up and have read all blogs/doctor who sites already today so figured some kind of proper update is overdue.
Due to never getting flash to work on my pc in the office, they have switched me to firefox. So now the spellchecker thing doesnt work ... so from here on in, apologies for my fuck awful typing skills.
I now work at the cinema, two shifts a aweek. I had two hours paperwork induction, one shift working alongside somebody then off I went, let loose on the world. Except on my first night I got a written warning for being 25 quid out on my till. Turned out I had processed some gift vouchers as paid for tickets, but I didnt find that out until Sunday .... spent most of saturday out of my mind, mortified to the point of nausea over the whole thing. I do like the job there though, and with two or three shifts a week, it shoudlnt massively impact me and wear me out.
Saw Cloverfield last weekend. Have to say that I really enjoyed it. I was concerned that they would never really show us the monster, but it gets a fair amount of screen time considering the format. And that is the main thing to say about Cloverfield - just like its most famous previous POV blockbuster, The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield really drew me in. Because you only see what they see, because you dont get everything sppon fed to you Mister Men stylee, it left a lot of thoughts wandering around in my head - and this dear reader is what engages me most. Stick a spoon into my deranged mind and give it a stir and I am all yours. Provide all the ingredients, the oven and than bake the cake for me and I'll lose interest somewhere around adding two eggs..... until its time to lick the bowl - I always come back for that bit.
Adele & Robert are down this weekend. Did I tell you we went to see them in Stevenage a few weeks ago? No? Yes? Well, we did. And now they are coming to us, so I am v excited about this.
I also need to meet up with Rach at some point and score her fella out of ten. From the daily reports she has to file, in triplicate, signed and dated in blood or sweat, I approve in principle, but a final inspection is required before I can fully sign him off as acceptable goods. And Damien, if Rach shows you this, never be fooled. You are goods. To be inspected and stamped with a seal of approval or rejection. But I'll leave the poking to Rach..... But fear me boy....... FEAR ME!
Of course, Im not that scary really. But that just wouldnt make as interesting a blog post, would it?
Ok, yes, I am that scary.
fuck.

Utter Madness

Well what an exciting day Saturday was.
It began with me having car issues. No, really! I know - me and a car butting heads, its a shocker alright.
With my spangly new voiture, I have committed (as i do with every change of car) to actually look after it properly. I figure with a new car, its gotta be easier than with a p o s. Not that the Protonator was a piece of shit, but she wasn't spangly. The Waspinator (so called for being yellow and black and having a face akin to the Beast Wars character of the same name) is spangly.
So I decide to check oil, water, tyres etc. before driving all the way to that there London. I dig out my owners manual and look up where all the things need to go. It tells me, quite unhelpfully that there is s sticker on the car telling me tyre pressure. And the bonnet release just has a diagram of where to find it, inside 'the front door' of the car. So Its a three door ergo a door on each side and the hatchback. So what exactly constitutes the front door? I have a definite backdoor (ooh daughter) but then two very equally placed side doors. I tried measuring to see if one is millimetres more forward than the other but to no avail. So I am now relying on the wee diagram that shows where the release lever is. No part of my car resembles the small well and curvy thing where said lever is physically located. But lo! a clue! Beneath the dashboard it says. Well, that's marvellous. By my Holmes like powers of deduction, I can now safely use either of my 'front' doors which are connected across the width of the car by the dashboard, to the forward direction. So really none the wiser.
Now, The Waspinator has lots of hidey holes and pockets within drivers reach. Great for storing food, money, phone, glasses case, more food and keys. So I give them all a good rub and fiddle but no lever do I find. Because I am famous, nay infamous for not seeing things right in front of me, I get Dan to look too. Zip. So he goes to get a torch. Still we find zilch. Then, somehow, I am upside down, my head in the foot well, my feet waving precariously around over the headrest, all the blood now in my face, torch ion one hand, the other gripping the steering wheel to hold me in place, rather than fall out of the car and break something on today of all days.
Not a fucking sausage.
Exasperated, I start to pack stuff into the car and just hope I don't need oil, water or windscreen wash. As I pop my CD case into the passenger seat, I spy a small hole tucked up under the dash with a small but perfectly formed lever, just inside where the door hinges meet the dash. Tentatively, I pull... to hear the clunk of the bonnet release.
30 Minutes. Half a fucking hour poking, prodding, getting in and out of the car, hanging upside down and risking migraines and embolisms.
Passenger side.
Why would a passenger ever think, 'oh, I'll just pop the bonnet up and have a squizz under there and see if its pretty'. Astounding.
So late now, we set off, pop down and pick Kat and Helen up (who bought me a fabulous Lord Voldemort tee shirt, which i am wearing today. Its a bit long on me and he is mainly at the bottom of it, so unless I pull it up a bit, it does look like I have a random arm reaching out from my underpants. Wouldn't be the first time I suppose), drop Dan at his mums in Newport and off we go again.
Quick stop on the M4 . at the KFC but .. and get this .. I didn't get a KFC!!! Just had a quick pasty and off! Get me!
Once off the M4 Kat is on navigator duty and we follow through to young David & Al's place. Have a bit of a mare with a diversion that I wasn't convinced was actually diverting us properly, but we got there in teh end.
D & A are moving to Southampton soon (which reminds me, David is stressing about a colourist and stylist and know Rach has one there .... need to get numbers passed around and people introduced!) and I was looking at the pics of new house ..... LOVE IT!
So off we head on the jolly old train to get into town. Stopped at Waterloo to meet Lisa from David's work .... we are LOVING Lisa. And grabbed a Krispy Kreme. Introduced Kat to Krispy Kreme. Fair to say I changed her life with a fondant doughnut. Then off to the jolly old O2 to meet Mark Leete and head in to gig!
I cant remember all the details but its fair to say we had an absolute scream. We had brilliant seats. Now, bear in mind, I booked just a single seat for me, while 200 miles away, David was booking his three independently. So him having the seat in front of me was the most amazing coincidence ever. Young Marky bought everyone a flashy Spice glowstick thingy. There were news crews all over. Lots of drag queens dressed up as Ginger, Sporty, Baby, Dozy, Beaky, Mich and Titch .. or something.
The gig itself was pretty much what you would expect. All the hits. A few dancey bits. There was a lovely moment at the end of Viva Forever, performed on moving individual podiums, gliding through dry ice, that as the last notes faded, Geri sank into the mist, gone forever. Well, for about 2 songs anyhoo. I called my Mum during Mama and bellowed the song down the phone to her. I couldn't hear a bloody thing but have spoken to her since and apparently it made her cry! She thought I was drunk and at a party mind you. Each girl had a solo spot. Geri did Its Raining Men (that's right girlfriend, know your audience), Emma did Maybe (always my fave of her anyway), Mel C I Turn To You (odd choice) and really randomly Mel B performed Are You Gonna Go My Way - while whipping a 'member of the audience pulled out at random' .. yeah right. Victoria chose not to sing (wise) and sent up her image instead by posing for photographers and doing a catwalk thing. They played Supermodel!!! David and I were screaming at each other at this point just for her use of RuPaul.
One thing baffled us .. and everyone else we spoke to ..... every time Victoria had a close up on screens, sang a solo line, farted or whatever, 80% of the crowd went fucking nuts. Which nobody did for any of the others singularly. Um .. yeah, lets cheer the least talented one ... that's a good plan. What the fuck? Even the dykes we spoke to didn't get it. Which speaks volumes.
The grand finale of Wannbe/Spice Up Your Life really had the whole place jumping .. not quite the Big Prince Night Out but it came close in atmos at that point.
Had to make something of a sharp exit as we had to get two trains back to David's and then still drive back to Wales, picking Dan up from his mums and dropping the girls off before I could get to bed....... which was about 4.00am in the end ... but what a great day!
Since then, work has been chaos ..... everyone wants everything done immediately ..... its supposed to bloody slow down now, not get worse! Bah humbug!

Here's Where the Story Ends

You probably know this song by a few artists. Whenever I hear it, I instantly think of a quite specific series of events in my life.

Step in my Tardis and I'll take you back to December 1998......

I was living in Letchworth with Jamie, but it had been a terrible year. His health had been an issue, his family had been an issue, we had lost our home once, and nearly a second time too due to financial issues. We weren't really getting on as we used to .. and then I met someone else.

Martin wasn't my type at all. Thin, lean, no body hair, very pale. Not the usual Bear of a man that gets my juices flowing as twere. But we hooked up for a bunk up, then started meeting regularly. Frankly, he was a fantastic shag. His willy was quite long and curved up and over, rather than as if it would eventually point back at him. Believe me .... that can make a big difference! This carried on for a while and before long, I started to have more feelings than just casual sex. But I had a bf, he was engaged to a girl ... couldn't go anywhere really. Until he then sat me down one day and asked if once Christmas was over, Id move in with him. He regularly saw me at home with Jamie and felt he could give me a better life. That was the moment I let go and fell hook, line and sinker for him. Romantic notions of a happier life are always a good puller for anyone really.

So I really began to think about it. The logistics, the reality .... with him working in London and me in Welwyn Garden City, we could move somewhere a tad further south to reduce travelling, we both drove but would we need a car each? What would the bedroom look like? Would he come out to his family, after breaking off the engagement to be with me? What would my friends think? Will Mother like him? Or better yet, would I finally have a fella that Dad approved?

One cold January afternoon, I decided to give him my answer. We were sat in his car, and he gave me a very blank look. And then tried to deny the many times he had spoken to me about whisking me away, telling me how if I left Jamie, he'd leave Kim. And finally that actually he had shagged some 18 year old last week and was in love with him.

Have you ever felt like the whole world melted away, every colour drained as somebody ripped your heart from your chest and ground it in a mincer?

There is kind of an aftermath to this tale that involves myself and a close friend from back then stalking him, but for legal and incriminating reasons, Id best not tell them in public. Needless to say, Cybill and Mary-Ann were a divine inspiration. As was the copious amounts of vodka and marijuana we both used to get through back then.

So that song was on the radio .. and it just reminded me of those times. The song in itself is a little souvenir, of a terrible year that makes me wonder why.

In other news. Saw The Producers on Monday night down at Wales Millennium Centre. Starring Peter Kay and Reece Shearsmith. We were sat in the centre of the front row - and I never want to sit anywhere else for a show ever again. Speaking as a trained musical theatre performer, I can safely say its genuinely like being on the stage! The show is hilarious. A witty, escapade of how a failure of a Broadway producer hooks up with his accountant after realising that with the correct insurance, they can more money from a failure than a hit - but how to stage a failure? So with a offensive text in Hitlers favour and more gayness than .. well I could muster, off they go. But what if they create a success?

The show is pretty much a constant, guffaw-a-thon from open to close. A few particular highlights would be:

Carmen Ghia, Roger DeBris's 'assistant' exiting. You have never laughed so hard at just an extended arm, I promise you.

Betrayed. A recap of the entire evening so far, including the intermission. 'Where is the spoon? Oh its in the lid!' Genius

Anytime Peter Kay was onstage. Show stealer and ad libber, but then that's what he gets paid for.

And the very cute Stephen Weller. Who comes on as a village people type leather clone at one point, hairy torso exposed.

The tour ends Saturday and Peter & Reece were only there for a few nights, so if you want to go and see it ... you cant basically.

This is the photo I took during the curtain call ... only on my phone, so this is an accurate representation of our proximity!

Spice tickets have arrived for next week. Its the work Christmas bash in Manchester this weekend and I have a ticket for Kylie in July. Life is good.

Oh and according to the diary section on this webiste, I am choreographing John Barrowman in panto this year.

Cruising, Crashing & Dusting

I just received a mail from some bod in our group I have never heard of, thus:
Hi everybody,
I am seeing a cruise company this week with a campaign for which will command direct response.
Does anybody have any successes with Cruise companies I could use a testimonial to prove direct response??
If not something similar would be great.
Thanks

And I am so tempted to reply that we cant advertise that sort of thing on air! And what would that testimonial be?
"I am Jeff, and I regularly hang around the local park at 11pm, looking for men to perform orally with. I first had success advertising my wares on Real Radio in 2005. Usually, I would cop off with around 3 different guys a week, but after advertising where and when I would be on the radio, I found queues had formed before I got there. I was so astounded by the response, I now take my 17 year old son out with me to help with the demand and have to wear a nappy during daytime hours to avoid seepage"

Of course Friday was the event that was Time Crash.
Fuck me. Came in my pants. Twice. If you haven't seen it, its on the BBC website until Friday only! I could rave about it in minutiae detail, I loved it that much .. but I shan't. Yet anyway.
And last night we saw Stardust. A charming we film that has just the right mix of magic, mystery and chuckles to keep all of them going. Its nothing you probably haven't seen before, in a variety of other guises and places, but cute enough to keep you entertained throughout. Particular mention goes to Robert De Niro - but you'll have to peruse the flick to see why - it would spoil it if I told you!
My only minor quibble: Why cast such great talents as the dead Princes if all they are going to do is watch and clap on the sidelines?

All teh Fun of the Fayre

I did my first stint on the Real Patrol on Saturday at Le Grande Weekend in Milford Haven. Which is further away than I thought!
We had stock issues for our freebies as the keys hadn't been left out for us to get at the stock cupboard. This left us with brollies, windscreen scrapers and tea bags. Odd combination. Tea bags seemed to be a winner with the ladies, and given the uncertainty of the weather, the brollies were in demand too. We did get some odd looks with the scrapers though.
We met some initial resistance from the crowd as its a stronger area for Pembroke radio than us, and they were there too with dance school displays, a car and an ice rink - which was blatantly not ice at all but a lump of perspex.
We soon made our presence known though by way of a few challenges. I made the girls do a bungee run contest, which amused the throngs, then we challenged some local kids to a laser quest game.
We each had a gun with 8 lives on it and had to run around the inside of an inflatable maze, in near dark. Apparently, I went in to full on sci fi geek mode ... ducking, diving and rolling as I fired and took out the opposing team. Gun tucked under my arm, I crept around the tunnels, hiding behind partitions and around corners, leaping out to shoot at unsuspecting on comers, before rolling aside and legging it off up the corridor before they could get me back. If you picture Han & Chewie chasing the stormtroopers around the Death Star, you are probably making me look waaaaaaaaaay cooler than I did. I am also clearly shit, as I was the first to run out of lives. The organiser took pity on me and gave me a fresh set, much the same way that the High Council of Gallifrey offered The Master a new regeneration cycle in The Five Doctors. Within about three mins, I had used those up too ..... and still nobody else in there had run out. But then, they weren't charging around with such gusto as I .... anyone can last a game by hiding in a corner.

Also managed to catch two films this weekend.
Blades of Glory. The story of two very different figure skating champs, who tie for gold, have a punch up on the podium and are banned from their sport for life. Some 20 years later, they realise they can go back but as a couple. If only they weren't mortal enemies.... This total, intentional cheese fest is amazing. I usually find the Frat Pack very hit and miss, but chuckled my way through this from start to finish. Go for it as a total no brainer.
Zodiac. Great film, thought it was never going to end though. Based on the true events of the Zodiac Killer in the 60's/70's, this seems to lose steam about halfway through as the killer himself appears to stop killing and we follow the obsessions of the men documenting or investigating the case. Stick with it though, as it is all still going somewhere, even if nobody was ever actually proven to be Zodiac. It puts a very strong case for him being one suspect in particular.

We Have the Technology...

.... therefore we can download tv shows before they air. Which is why, loyal reader, today you can have reviews of the pilots for The Bionic Woman and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
The Bionic Woman first. Basic premise: Bird off Eastenders is seeing older bloke and expecting his baby. She is also raising with her 16 year old deaf sister. Older bloke happens to work in big scary underground base where they make bionic people. The last one (maybe the first, not totally confirmed), who is played by Katee Sackhoff from Galactica, did a bunk and is now out for revenge. I think. Despite being all super powered now n shit. You'd think shed be grateful. Anyhoo, she drives a truck into bird from Eastenders and Older blokes car .... and the only way to save her is ... yep, make her bionic. We then have a few obligatory scenes of her adjusting to her new bionics, escaping from underground base that looks remarkably like some of the SGC, on the run .. blah blah blah... leading to a big showdown with Bad Bionic Girl. Of course, she chooses to be free and go back to her life, Bad Bionic is still on the run and that's now the premise for the series.
If that all sounds a tad rushed, then it does a good job of getting across the tone of this show. Its a 45 min episode and needed to be a full 90 min pilot. However, I do think this is going to make a cracking series. The FX weren't finished in this version ... just as well as they were risible for the most part. Jamie Summers running alongside a car was possibly one of the funniest things I have seen this year .. but i am sure that will be tidied up. The performances are sound and the script, aside from the aforementioned pacing issue, seems solid enough. Looking forward to more from this.
Which isn't something I can say about The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Imagine T2 boiled down to a 43 mins episode, remove the cool CG morphing effect, and this is pretty much what you get. We open in 1999 with a dream sequence - its a dead giveaway when the Skynet attack starts, wiping out a building and a Terminator but leaves Sarah & John unscathed. We also know its 1999 by the small snippets of late 90's music they continually chuck at us, while digging us in the ribs and winking, 1999! Remember what was on the radio in 1999? We then have a bit of back story that I am hoping and praying forms the backbone of the series, even if its tossed aside in the pilot - Sarah has been on her mission to kill those who will eventually cause Skynet to happen, she is on the run from the FBI and such like who want to lock her up in the nuthouse for life. Sadly, we don't really pursue this but instead go for a quick show of her constant moving on by way of leaving current fella, despite Johns protests. Soon, we are in new town, new school ... but Terminators and the cops are closing in. Enter geeky schoolgirl in Johns new school. Its Summer Glau from Firefly/Serenity and The 4400, so we know she isn't just some squeeze of the week ... no, she is a Terminator sent to protect John. Some 12 years before the events of Rise of the Machines were everyone seemed so shocked to see a female Terminator ... but i am sure its not important. Johns first day in the new school also brings a new teacher ... who seems very intent on taking the register .. surely he cant be .. what .. he is a Terminator? Well, fuck me I didn't see that coming! Cue big face off betwixt good and bad Terminators ... resulting in John, Sarah and Terminator flipping forward in time to 2007. And we know what happens when Terminators travel in time ... they get nekkid. Yep, so that an older woman, a younger one and a hot teen for the male admirers ... that ticks most boxes, yes? Well, no .. it didn't tick mine frankly. I bet my mate Nabusan would start drooling though .....
And that's where it leaves them. The biggest issue I have with this show is what point can there be to it? We have seen a 20 something John Connor in Rise of the Machines. We know the war doesn't kick off yet, we know Sarah will die at some point, but he wont. The good Terminator will have to get terminated too, as she ain't around by the later years either. Its the same as Enterprise and this dumb fuck of a Trek Movie prequel they are planning. You could actually get a good drama out of the scenario, even though the ultimate ending is a given ... but generally the industry and particularly the big studios, just wont take those kind of risks. So they water it down and give us shoddy bollocks instead. Get James Moran, Steven Moffatt and Paul Cornell in there - give it some real welly! Otherwise, this looks to be for die hard Terminator fans only.

Keep On Running...

I have had the shits since Friday. Now very dehydrated and if I stop drinking for more than 20 mins, I get a fucker of a headache. It was at its worse Sunday night/Monday morning .. resulting in me not actually being able to stay off a loo long enough to actually get to work and then a pounding noggin of migraine like proportions. Luckily ... I seem to be on the far side now and down to a squirt every 70 mins or so.
To bring you up to date, I had old colleagues of mine from ntl Luton down over the weekend. Stevo arrived on Friday and stayed in and had a few drinks .... Saturday we went down to the Village Hotel to watch the Sunderland/Spur game. I got very confused by the game but quite liked the gold trainers one of the teams were wearing. I was very impressed by the interactive commentary as it actually kept taking to me! Then Stevo pointed out that actually it wasn't and that the goal keeper in yellow is called Paul Robinson .... oh well. Then I got very excited by the little headsets the referee and lines men had on ... it was all very Madonna .. but with less Vogueing ... and no music .... or costume changes. So nothing like Madonna at all really.
The game finished about half two and Deb was due to arrive about 3.00, so given The Village sits on junction 32 of the M4, it was easier for her to just meet us there. I got a text from her at 3.00 as she pulled off of junction 32. 20 mins later she rang me from Cardiff City Centre... we deiced it was easier for her to head back to the M4, so she did. And then called me from a school ... as she had gone back to the Cardiff Gate junction and followed directions from there. So she then went back to the M4, off the correct junction and found us.... at 4.00.
Stevo then decided we needed to go visit my local. Now, as a rule, I don't do pubs and certainly not my local. I am sure its very nice and that a lot of the people in there are lovely too .. but its just not something I enjoy. Stevo eventually went down there for half an hour on his own. Bless him. I love him to bits ... but he is such a geezer. We were chuckling at his complete straight man inability to see anything wrong in calling Muslim females ninjas due their apparel and still calling transsexuals by their previous genders name ("I don't care is he's a woman .. he is still John to me and that's what Ill call him" was a classic quote). But then gets deeply offended if somebody calls him racist or homophobic. I just like to think of him as a bit old school as I genuinely don't think he is out to upset anybody.
For the evening, we went into town for a Chinese and then down the bay for a few drinks. I think they were both quite impressed with Cardiff!
Of course ... Sunday & Monday I was actually quite ill but we did manage to get along to a preview of Knocked Up.
Its on general release from Friday ... and as long as sex, drugs and bad language don't offend you, make sure you get along. Particularly if you have had kids.
It follows a couple as they head towards a one night stand, through the events of said night ... to the unplanned and initially unwanted pregnancy that results. I'd be lying if I said this went anything than down the extremely predicable path of 'they get together, they fall out, its ok at the last minute' route but the journey is well worth the look. From the tv execs totally slimy pc HR approach to careers and pregnancy, to the boys gang of stoners and their hair brained schemes to build websites, you are sure to find a few belly laughs and one or two gross outs (look away during the birth if you are particularly squeamish). It may just be that I have lived through a few very similar scenarios myself, that made this so much fun to watch ... Ben's Cirque De Soleil experience rings very close to my one with barney the Dinosaur ... but a genuinely funny film with its moments of heart that will warm your cockles rather than have you reaching for the bucket.

Dearly Beloved...

we were gathered there Saturday to celebrate a man called Prince

And I'm here to tell ya .... he was mighty fine. You can see him stood at the point of the symbol here.......

Yes. My long quest to see the man himself ended on Saturday. It was attempt 7 in all.

My first try was way back in about 1990 ... the day of the gig, I had a flat tyre. Several other attempts over the years meant that within 24hrs of the gig, I had to literally give the tickets to friends as money, work and even death stood in my way. But not this time, oh no.

I am still completely bollocksed all the time, so spent Friday night in to get some energy together to last the gig. I got up around 9 on Saturday and mooched about, didn't rush anything, set off to pick Rach up about half ten, got to Swindon about midday. It was pissing it down in wales .. scorching hot by the time I got past Bristol. We sat at Rach's for about 45 mins before we set off for that there London. Had to go back in and get the tickets. headed out. Went back up to her flat to get CD1 of Prince's greatest hits to get us in the mood. Back to the car. Went back again for directions to get to Richie's to park the car (he is in Bermondsey, so only four stops up to the O2)

Upon arriving in London (after a motorway stop to much some lunch and sit in the sun at the services .. KFC .. yum), I decided it was too hot to sit in the car in London traffic, so we parked at Hounslow instead and tubed it across. If Rich was going to be home, I'd have done it .. but he wasn't so didn't see the point.

The tube became foolishly crowded, natch, so we hopped off at Knightsbridge and had a swan around Harrods and Harvey Nichs. Managed to catch the eye of a very hot young guy working on the perfume counter ... all long blonde hair, deep brown eyes and a sexy growth of chest hair on display.... played the 'walk by twice then on third go, keep looking down and then lift eyes to meet his and smile' tactic. I made him blush and got a HUGE grin out of him .... oh yeah, still got it, despite being a sweaty tub of lard.

We then had a walk across St James park to get the tube down to the O2. Rach was given two copies of the Prince CD .... note to self, have underwear in your bag if you want extra freebies.

We had a swan around the O2 and then settled for more grease from their food bars. I had seven members of staff put my order together and had a bit of a camp moment talking to them.

We then took our seats in the vertigo inducing upper tier (just three rows back and 16 seats across form where I sat for Scissor Sisters. God that was a boring bit of info) to watch the support act. Carlo Pasta or something. She wasn't really my cup of tea to be fair. Possibly more for the gold lame tent and thigh high white pvc boots she was wearing than anything to do with her vocals. Even though after the first song one member of the crowd did shout at her 'we cant hear what you are saying', which was a fair comment if you ask me. I went out for a wee and some more drinks halfway through her set.

Then, at 9.00, the lights went out again. The stage was the symbol Prince changed his name to briefly during the 90s and was set in the centre of the arena. Some lucky buggers had seats at purple velvet draped tables within the symbol itself. As a clever ruse to get us to not see him enter (read: as see through as shrink wrap), our attention was diverted to the view screens for a few minutes to watch a few clips and talking heads. This was all well and good while the band and dancers were lead through the audience to hide under the stage, but the moment Prince was brought out, the darkness became a sea of camera flashes, so we saw him very clearly, lit up in his white suit, as he was brought through.

And then the music began. Starting with Lets Go Crazy, he then did a full two hour set featuring a range of tracks encompassing his 30 year career. Other tracks included Kiss, U Got the Look, I Would Die 4 U, Raspberry Beret .. ooh it was brilliant! In Kiss, he replaced 'You don't have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude' with Big Brother, which made me chuckle. He can still move with the best of them, even though I did notice his trademark splits didn't make an appearance, but was suitably replaced by his very flexible twin dancers holding up one of their own legs apiece to play them like a guitar. I wonder what Prince sees in them though?

Rach and I managed to get an outrageous amount of synchronised chair dancing going on, but we had somehow managed to be sat amongst the ONLY section of the entire arena who didn't get up and dance for most of the gig ... and when a few people did, the Hitler in training on the door made them sit down in case they were blocking homebody's view. Clearly, this man does not actually understand how gigs work in the UK. We are British and therefore are a bit reserved in such things. Everyone secretly wants to be on their feet and giving it some but nobody likes to be the first. None of that applies to me of course.... when I want to get up and shake my groove thang, I fucking well do it. And why not? I've paid my money to enjoy myself not sit back with some knitting and give the face to anyone having fun. Another couple beat me to the ass wiggling .. and that was when the Third Reich struck. At one point, looking around the arena, we were the ONLY people not on our feet. I gave them the first hour as a courtesy .. but then U Got The Look kicked in ... and I was UP BABY! I was just mentally daring the man behind us to tell me to sit down. Almost hoping he would so I could give him what for. he didn't. He just kept on about wishing Joni Mitchell was going to make a surprise appearance. Mate ...if you want to see Joni Mitchell in concert, GO TO A FUCKING JONI MITCHELL CONCERT. Rocket science it ain't. Still, he left before the end. Possibly got fed up with my lard arse wiggling in his face, which is odd as some people pay me for that shit. Not literally you understand. My ring was clean, possibly a bit musky with man scent, but that would be about it. I am quite anal about such things.

Two other things of note to mention here. At one point, what appeared to be a random section of the audience were taken onstage to dance around. Still not sure they weren't stooges .. but if they were, he picked people with only minor dance skills to make it look real enough even if they did seem to know where to stand, when to move etc. The other is a sax solo to blow you away. Mike Philly who used to play for James Brown apparently. The man held one note for about 4 mins as he walked around the stage.... stunning. That was the thing that really stood this out from most gigs i go to. The quality of the musicians was clearly top priority here. As great as they are I am sure for everyone else, a lot of the clinical 'set list' and dance moves was gone. It had a raw, dirty energy that you could feel deep in your booty.

The gig ended with an encore of Purple Rain and Little Red Corvette. We cheered, we roared, the house lights came up, only half the people left, we needed to two house announcements to get us to shut up and leave. Now THAT'S a good gig.

I Did Feel LIke Dancing

.. but sadly the people behind me got a bit stroppy, at the O2 Arena on Thursday. So I sat down in the quieter songs as a kind of meeting them halfway measure.
But to tell the full tale....

We departed from home in the piss pouring rain and went down to Cardiff so I could get two new tyres on the front of the Protonator. As she is front wheel drive, and the tyres were barely legal,it was the best option considering the drive ahead. And sweet lord of all that is holy, the rain coming down on us the other side of Bristol would probably have killed us in the old tyres. It was raining so ard, and the surface spray was so bad, that we actually had spray coming up high enough to be visible from my windows .. like driving through a deep puddle ... but this was just from the road itself. I could barely see beyond the nose of the car due to volumes of water ... didn't dare drive above 35mph and STILL people were doing 80 in the fast lane. Had they needed to apply their brakes, they would just have hydroplaned and killed people. End of. Thank the Goddess, we made it safely. And thank goodness I had changed those tyres.
I got a bit lost en route to leaving the car at Toby's .. thanks multimap! Then we got into London Bridge just in time to meet Rich for an hour or so before going to the O2
And we are LOVING the O2!
What used to be the millennium dome, it now houses a nice bar and restauranty concourse, a cinema and a stadium venue about the same size and dimensions of the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. We were sat in the front row of the upper tiers ... with a very long drop and just a knee high glass barrier before us ... little bit scary...
The Scissor Sisters, were of course absolutely fucking brilliant! Babydaddy is as hot as ever. The stage was made up of the Scissor logo and glowed... They had laser images of scissors performing a 'scissor sister' move at one point (if you know what the name means, you'll know what that looks like) which made me chuckle. There were a surprising amount of kids there. Wouldn't have thought it was the most apt gig to bring them to ... shouldn't they be at Bratz or High School Musical or something?
Anyhoo, the whole thing was recorded to be released on dvd at some point ... so look out for me!

Friday, was leaving Toby's, picking Steve up from Osterley and then the drive back down the M4 ... in much more pleasant conditions that the journey there.
In the evening, we went along to see The Simpson's movie. If, like me, you feel that The Simpson's has lost it in recent years, do go back to them with this ,movie to see all of the stuff you used to lke ... a great blend of in your face with subtle humour, blatant mickey taking of your common or garden American straight man ... you get the idea. The plot largely follows Homer trying to get back in his families good books after being the cause of Springfield being cut off from the world by being put under a giant glass dome ... all with hilarious consequences, and just a little bit of heart. Do stick with the credits if you want a few extra minor laughs...

And today .. well, we had a troll around Cardiff Bay. I went in the Doctor Who up close exhibition as it had been a while ... and quite a lot has changed - I have some video footage to sort out (actually have some from the gig too if I get my arse in gear...). And that's about it ... just watched Evan Almighty (ok) and The Queen (got bored, went for a poo to read and then started this blog)
So what you been doing?

Neither Can Live....

So says the prophecy regarding the fall/victory of the Dark Lord Voldemort.
Ok, in about two paragraphs time, I will be talking about actual events from Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows .. so look away now if you don't wish to know.
I duly arrived at Borders in Llantrissant at about 10.45, to join the people picking up their copy. There was a magician, there had been creepy crawlies to handle (hence, I didn't arrive until well into the evening). What there wasnt was a copy of the Marvel Civil War graphic novel I had promised myself. Gutted. Around 10.55, we decided to join the already forming queue. It was an odd set up ... the queue started at the back of the store and snaked around the aisles. You then had to collect your book by the lift, and go to the front to pay for it. It worked quite well. I was stunned just how many people were in the queue .... it had to be getting on for about 500. And yet Tesco, next door, had a pallet of books by the door, no queue, 2 quid cheaper. I made Dan go in and do the shopping while I sat in the car to read. Well honestly ... what the fuck was he thinking? Telling em we need to do a food shop on the way home .... of all the days......
I completed the book at 7.30pm on Saturday.
JK Rowling had said there were 2 deaths to look out for .... 22 more like! Sweet Jesus ..... I did cry when Hedwig got hit by a killing curse. Then again when Dobby got stabbed. To see a full list of dead peeps, head over and read what Nabu San has to say ... he does it better than I could. And he gives you pictures too, if you have only ever seen the films.
I loved the fact that a lot of the keys to the final plot, have all been present since Philosophers Stone. I also like that Harry does indeed die, giving his own life to ensure that Voldemort can be defeated and his friends can be free. Bit of a cop out that he gets to come back though. Would have been a much braver ending.
I loved this book, but its such a nice ending, that I felt no sadness that its over. It feels complete and that is a good thing. Of course, there are a mountain of franchise books that could be written ... Hogwarts: A History for a start ... then how about a companion novel, from Neville and Luna's point of view, of what would have been year 7 at Hogwarts .... with Snape as headmaster. Stories from the original Order of the Phoenix ... the list goes on.
But for me, I am happy to walk away now, with one complete story.
Roll on the film!

Harry Potter & the Amy Winehouse Gig

Last night was HP & the Order of the Phoenix. Actually, so will tonight be ... but that's the opening weekend system for you.

I have to say I LOVED this. Its a thrilling, well adapted version of what is by far an over inflated book. However, the one thing I would say is don't expect the book. You wont get a lot of what you think you maybe should. Ok, concentrate or look away, here comes the spoiler part ...



The opening sequence is fantastic. We are thrown straight into Harry facing off against Dudleys gang and the Dementor attack. Mrs Figg is great, but in a very different way than I imagined. In my head she was something like Mrs Cropley from the Vicar of Dibley .. but David Yates has given her battiness a different direction. We then hop skip and jump a few things to get us back to Hogwarts. Many roles are greatly reduced in this film ... in fact anyone's aside from Harry's really. Even Ron & Hermione feel like minor guest stars. The Woes of Mrs Weasley - gone ... also the big house cleaning session with a certain locket that fans are speculating will be of great importance has been cut. Kreacher is present, but if I call him the Face of Kreacher, Doctor Who fans will understand when they see him. Hagrid being sacked - gone, and with it Minerva being knocked out by Dolores and her cronies. Dumbldores big three page explanation - reduced to a few lines. Marietta - cut and its Cho Chang who gives away the DA's secrets to the Inquisitorial Squad. She is redeemed later though.

But as I say, the book has always seemed like it needed a good edit to me, and the film does not suffer for these changes. There is a certain amount of humour, particularly form the excellent David Bradley as Argus Filch (even though, I don't recall the poor bugger having any lines at all) as he hangs the Educational Decrees and hunts down the DA. Dolores Umbridge is delightfully sweet to the point of wanting a good slap ... and fans of the Weasley Twins will simply love their triumphant exit. The greatest point for me though, is Bonnie Wright as Ginny. If you know what comes next, just watch her in the background every time Harry & Cho are in close proximity.

The grand finale is a spectates in itself... presumably as it will be in 3D at Imax .... even if the Veil in the Ministry of Magic (the atrium looks very like a Disneyland Hotel) really isn't given an explanation. The arrival of the Order of the Phoenix in the same scene will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

In short, this diverges the world of the films and the books about two pacecs more, but truly is all the better for it.



And the post title? The battle at the ministry .... keep your eye on Bellatrix Lestrange and just hear it in your head .... they tried to make me go to rehab.....



Then getting home and taking out the bins, I found we had a lodger.....

Coke with Orange is Vile

With any luck the diet version is better.
That is all.

Ooh I Am Pleased!

Its going to one of those tales from the weekend posts again folks...
Friday was a work bash out in town. We started at Oceana, where we sat outside as it was going to be easier than having half the group constantly outside for a fag and half inside. There was a decent sized group of us and Emma who used to work here came along too so we had a good old natter which eventually turned into a sing song. As we were sat right by the entrance to the New Theatre, when Beauty & the Beast chucked out, I couldn't resist a quick burst of Be Our Guest. Tree and Emma were up for this too, so a bit of a medley ensued. Plus, there was a very cute guy who kept coming and hovering by our group and eyeing me up. Me being me, spotted this instantly .... and it was game on. Eventually, it was getting so blatant that he kept coming out on his own to sit in my eye line (which had he been a smoker could have been convenience or coincidence ... but he wasn't, so why the hell come outside and just sit on your own to drink?), that my mates noticed and were asking me if I had noticed that I'd pulled! After one such visit out, I followed him back in .... to find he had been grabbed by a couple of mates where were clearly very straight and he looked me in the eye, in a dead panic and very slightly shook his head, which I took as a 'not now, these guys don't know' motion, and just smiled and waked off. He then left with his mates. Just thought, I hadnt told Dan this story yet ... oh well, he'll see it now....
From there, we were to head to Soda bar. Aside from Chloe, nobody knew what or where it was! The girls wanted to get a taxi there (despite it being less than 5 mins away on foot) and had difficulties getting cabs that would accept such a pointless fare .. especially as the main High Street/St Marys Street (home of 'Henricks' in Doctor Who) is closed to all vehicles on Friday and Saturday nights. So the girls got cabs and the boys walked. Yes, I was one of the boys for this occasion.
Soda Bar, is underground. Its a row of converted cellars. It smells damp, the floor is just an old cellar floor, the music is random and its a fiver to get in if you aren't on the guest list, but if you aren't on the list, they do try and put you off coming in. I wish they had succeeded. We began by playing Mallets Mallet (word association for the Wacaday Uninitiated) for a while, Chloe was in the loo for most of the time from the moment we arrived. I waited by the girl's loo door for half an hour to say goodbye to her before giving up and just leaving. apparently, she still didn't surface when Emma & Tree tried either ...and we think she isn't speaking to us now as we have all sent messages since and not had responses. It started to get crowded about 1.00am. We decided to hit the dance floor for a while. I will never forget the look on Tom's face when he was dancing with Dave. I would guess its much the same if you ever find yourself face to face with a hungry Tiger in the jungle. Except with the Tiger there would be a ray of hope, somewhere in your eyes.
There was a group of guys dancing around us, who were getting quite physically intimate with each other, but weren't out and out poofs. Then one of them just grabbed my hand and pulled himself to me for what can really only be described as a cuddle and slow dance. I was a bit confused, as his mate/bf/brother/freak-gimp was giving me dirty looks. i asked my new best friend if he was ok, he mumbled, half vomited then went back to butting his head against the padded wall post. Boy can I pick 'em.
At 1.30am, I set off for home after actually what had been a cracking night out. I need to do these things more often, especially as I had only spent just under a tenner all night - and that is with buying my own drinks! I didn't fleece them off mates!

Saturday was a trip to the touring version of Acorn Antiques The Musical! Having seen this twice in the West End (once with Julie Walters playing Mrs O, once with Victoria Wood) and owning the DVD of said west end show, I was unsure how well i was going to take to a touring cast, who were not the original tv cast. How glad I am to be wrong.
The show has been totally re written, and the original first act involving a directors bleak socio political version of Acorn Antiques has been ditched. The then all familiar version with lots fo lovely singing and dancing has been expanded to a full show. I wont say a lot about the content, as if its coming near you, make sure you go and see it, and I wouldn't want to spoil it. I laughed solidly from the opening front of house announcements (complete with Wood's voice saying Wales Minnellium Centre - spelling intentional), via a host of suitably crap radio ads for the shops in Manchesterford (which probably I saw in a very different humour to anyone else there given my job). The cast do a brilliant job. We were only about six rows back (we had booked front row but due to the size of the orchestra, they had to remove our original row) and had a very good view. Ria Jones who is playing Mrs O is comedy gold. It the Mrs O you know and love, but just a little different...... and for her curtain call, she appeared in a special apron made of a Welsh Flag .. o be joined by Victoria Wood in a Welsh flag tee shirt! Naturally, I leaped to my feet cheering at this point.
We then had a quick chat in a coffee house in the bay before heading home.
Sunday ... I didn't even leave the house. Lots of ironing and watching Cybill .....
So how are you?

And then a Hero comes along...

Or several of them.
Yes, I watched the last three episodes of Heroes over the weekend. These closed volume one and opened volume two, ready for next season. And I have to say I really loved it. They managed to end the exploding man story, while actually leaving enough questions in the air over the fate of certain characters to leave lots of little cliffhangers (rather than the one big one you'd get with most shows). I have to say that the actual resolution as to how they actually stop an exploding man was one I saw about mid season ..... but it didn't matter in the end. And the save the cheerleader, save the world thing was a bit of a red herring too .... but I shall say no more in case you haven't seen it yet.

Then of course, The Doctor. Or not as we last saw him. With his Time Lord persona hidden away in a watch, the lives of his housemaid and potential lover in the balance ..... Who at its best. And lots of location work at the Museum of Welsh Life, which apparently was packed on Sunday and Monday by people running around pointing at the various parts seen in the programme (I didn't go, Maria did ... she told me).

And finally Spiderman. I really thought that 4 weeks in, the crowds would have died down ... but no. A Sunday afternoon showing was almost sold out and full of kids. In particular, a 3 year old girl and her five year old brother who haven't been taught that you don't talk, scream, play or make siren noises during a film just because its a chatty bit to move the plot along. I hope Venom gave them nightmares. The film wasn't bad .... just not good either. The writing was a tad shoddy as they desperately tried to cram in action and plot for 5 main characters and a few minor ones too. It was almost like a lego house made by a child .... you could see exactly where one style of bricks stops and the other starts, leaving no fluidity or flow at all. And Venom? The evil, twisted symbiote I have waited years to see fully realised ...... blink and you'll miss him.

And it fucking pissed down all weekend. Which meant that the trip to the beach we planned with Toby was off... and we had our picnic sat in front of the telly instead.
Today, back to work .... of course the sun is shining.

Pirates of the Carribbean: At Worlds End

Went to the regional premier last night .... and loved it! Here is my review as written for GMG radio:
And finally we reach the last part of the Pirates saga after a year long wait to find out exactly what happened to Captain Jack Sparrow……. Look away if you are still to see Pirates 2 as there be spoilers here …… arrrrrrrr!

At Worlds End doesn’t kick off exactly from where Dead Mans Chest left us …. The newly resurrected Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) has brought his crew to Singapore, to see if the Eastern pirates will help them get to Davy Jones Locker and rescue Captain Jack Sparrow. Of course, things don’t go accordingly to plan, as pirates are not trustworthy by their nature. Plus, the East India Trading Co are after them all and now in control of Davy Jones and his crew on the Flying Dutchman…

Nobody can argue that At Worlds End is a visually stunning piece of cinematography. From Singapore, to the end of the world, multiple Jack Sparrows crewing the Black Pearl across the desert in Davy Jones Locker and a battle across a raging maelstrom will all leave you wide eyed in awe. Also, a very minor thing as far as plot goes but something that made my jaw drop – watch the Rain on Davy Jones face, then remember that he is not actually there and is a 100% CGI creation (actor Bill Nighy is completely replaced by the effects) – truly amazing.

Plot wise – it twists and turns continually as each of the major players work through their own personal plans to get what they want. Double and triple crosses weave through the film but I do think that younger viewers will get lost in the plot and bored by the exposition dialogue (however big kids like me will love it!). All of the plots are wrapped nicely and not all how you would expect. Some bold moves here from Disney for a family film. And as for a Pirates 4? There is the potential and even a teaser of a set up, but like the great Back to the Future films ….. I’d rather they went out on a high than milk it dry.

All in all, a very worthy and fitting end to a spectacular trilogy that needs to be seen on the big screen. And even if you are bursting after the almost three hour running time, do stay until the end of the titles for a special bonus scene to make you say ‘aah’

A Week in the Life.....

So something lighter now. The last 7 days of my life.

Friday: Day booked off from work. This was part of the plan to get more from the weekend since Dan & i were taking the trip back East to see friends and family. You kind of lose your break by spending too much time rushing around on a regular weekend, so we booked off Friday and Monday to ensure we got a rest. This of course does not explain why its only Thursday afternoon and I am beat. We took a trip into Cardiff, Dan got a hair cut and flirted outrageously with the cute young thang doing the cut. Like hello ... I was sat four feet away! Ah, who am I kidding. I didn't care a hoot. I just want to watch if they get it on. I am a perv like that. I needed to buy a neck strap for my new work pass ... wanted Peter Pan or glitter and got Mickey Mouse. We had a drift around Forbidden Planet in search of a titanium die cast Battlestar Galactica toy. Nada. Had a subway, bought a ton of bath bombs from Lush and then left town ... in rush hour.
We then stopped off to say hi to Kay, while waiting to see if I got a call to go to Luton that night ... the call never came and we eventually left Kay's after Ugly Betty and a ridiculously large greasy burger from Uncle Sam's. I had the blue cheese one - YUM!

Saturday: Up, bathed, in the car to go to Baldock to see Mark. This is of course Wicked night.
So, Dan has a big sore on his heel due to new shoes and Steve came off his bike mid week so neither of them were much good on their feet, meaning we chose to drive down to Cockfosters and tube in from there. As there are 6 of us, this means 2 cars. I followed Mark down the A1 for fear of The Tumbler not keeping up with The Protonator.
At Hatfield, he pulled off the A1 and headed off towards Welham Green. Given it was about teatime on Saturday, there was no reason to think that the M25 would be a problem so I was confused about this diversion ... and made Dan call Lyanne to tell Mark we were going the wrong way. Apparently, this was a better route according to Steve's dad .. and turns out he was right! Until we got into Potters Bar and Mark sailed by the sign to turn left for Cockfosters.... So I gave Dan my phone again...... apparently they were all chatting and forgot where we were going. I wonder where that road would have taken us?
So we turn around, and they follow me back to the junction so that I can find my way to Cockfosters tube station car park as I had been there before. Once there I had to change into my gold shirt and silver platforms ..... which looked great but was a dumb idea as will be apparent later.
A quick tube ride to Victoria from Cockfosters (change at Finsbury Park) and there we were, right in front of the Apollo Victoria with a huge billboard for Wicked above the main entrance. We were an hour early so nipped off for a bite to eat first, the took our seats.
We were up in the upper circle, which gave us a great view of the elaborate decorations around the edge of the set. And then the people sat in front of me, leaned forward to be more comfortable and totally blocked out my view of the main stage. After minute or two of the show starting, the girl next to them was asleep and I had told them they cant sit forward as it blocks my view.... and after all, its all about me, right? They grudgingly sat back but then made a big deal of holding their programme up in my way to look at the set list every 10 mins.
15 mins into the show, it transpired the 6 of us weren't quite in the correct seats and all had to move up one to allow some other woman to have the end of the row. Or we were correct and she was just put there by the front of house staff as her seats were double booked .... we weren't quite sure.
For the entire show, there was always at least one person from our section trolling up or down the stairs to the toilet/bar/concession stand/merchandise shop/outside for a smoke. Not least the couple in front of the people next to us. The longest they both sat in the seats was about 7 mins ... otherwise one of them or the other was up and down and out and............ grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Then their mate finally woke up 90 mins into the show just as the first act ended. WHY? Who books a ticket for a show, travels all the way to London, just to get piss fuck drunk beforehand and sleep through the show? And who also spends a fortune on tickets and then cant wait an hour for a drink and has to get up continually through the show, thereby ensuring you have no idea what is going on! Fuckwits.
The show was magnificent. despite the continual interruption. However, my knees were dead. I hadn't though of the impact of sitting in a lower chair when your feet are raised an extra 5 inches off the ground in platform shoes..........
Waiting at Finsbury Park tube station, we had the fortune of standing next to a poster advertising a particular charity for people with mental or physical disabilities. The name of the example used was Mark ..... now, as you can imagine, this meant much hilarity for us as we had Mark with us and spent minutes making all kinds of derogatory comments about our Mark. In an absolute classic Robinson case of not mocking the afflicted, the first stop our train stopped at, the doors opened to reveal a full length, floor to ceiling poster for the same charity, this time featuring a downs syndrome lad. His name ................. Paul. Why do I never learn?
We returned to Mark's and sat out in the conservatory until 2.00am chatting.

Sunday: After a leisurely lay in, we had a brief chat and scooted off to see John and Steve, then on to mothers and finally a drive down to London to stop by and finally give Richie his birthday present. Left there after all the traffic had gone for the evening, and hit home about 1.00am.

Monday: Other day off. Did nothing. Chilled.

Tuesday: Back to work................. watched The Keeper of Traken & Logopolis

Wednesday: Training session at the Celtic Manor Resort. Finished at 12.00 and then went for a facial on the company. Back home by 3.00pm and had some work I had taken home....... watched Castrovalva and new ep of Ugly Betty

Today: First day of my 28 days on atkins diet. So far eaten, bacon and eggs, chicken and a pepperami. Only drank ribena. Bored already.

Show us your Captain, Jack!

Yes... that was the immortal line I bellowed across a silent auditorium at John Barrowman in Jack and the Beanstalk at the panto at the New Theatre, Cardiff on Saturday night. Needless to say he gave me a bit of a look back. I was also the only person who called out when he asked what had happened to the Princess .... at least that time there was supposed to be a response..... I also bought a signed Captain Jack figure and a mini sonic screwdriver torch.

The show was BRILLIANT! Just the right balance of fun and adventure for the kids and knowing winks at sauciness for the mums and dads. Plus of course, because of John, it is littered with Doctor Who and Torchwood references. Several times the ad libs caused the actors to lose the plot, exactly as a good panto should. Its only on for another week, but if you can get to Cardiff, I highly recommend this, even if just to see Dame Trot shopping at an actual Boots store on Queen Street, Cardiff, live on stage!