Tournez A Gauche

So did you watch Turn Left?
So while not exactly as I had suspected, it was The Trickster involved ... ha!
I really loved this episode. While apparently quite light and fluffy to begin with, this one really began to plug on the emotional strings and some very hard hitting concepts, for essentially a family show.
From a very (potentially not PC) traditional Chinese market on some alien world, we go from having froths on noses and milk taches, to Martha being dead and a beautiful eulogy for Sarah-Jane Smith in the space of about ten minutes ... and it wont end there. As jubilant as the return of Rose Tyler is .... speaking as though she has grown too many teeth for some odd reason ... we are soon faced with the destruction of most of southern England, refugees, Torchwood giving their lives for us - just so we can start packing any non British citizen off to labour camps. That moment, the glances and salutes between Wilf and the Italian chap (whose name escapes me) is one of the mist gut wrenching pieces of telly Ive seen in many years. 'Its happening again' stammers Wilf, tears in his eyes ... beautiful ... and I fear, frighteningly realistic, were such a situation to happen.
Then, back in her own timeline, Donna recounts the story to the Doctor .... and its a great piece of work from David & Catherine. Totally conversational from Donna .. but we see the realisation, the hope and the horror in the Doctors eyes .... What was her name, what did she look like .... then those two words ... Bad Wolf ...
While I have been enjoying series 4 .. I have had in the back of my mind that I was still preferring series 3 .... until now .. and lets see how this final trilogy pans out. Of course, I only have a few mins from part 2 and part 3 to go ... and WOW.
Some select lines from The Stolen Earth, that will spoil nothing but may get you thinking:
"Disappearing bees. Disappearing bees. DISAPPEARING BEES!"
"Good, I like Saturdays"
"Harriet Jones. Former Prime Minister" "Yes, we know who you are"
"I'm taking you to the Shadow Proclamation"
"Doctor Jones, you take your orders from UNIT, not Torchwood"
"Mr Smith, I need you"
"Oi, I was there first"
"There's nothing I can do"
"Please don't die"
There, that should be enough to tease.

And so yesterday was my second Race For Life, in Swansea.
Or it should have been. but i spent the entire time stuck in a Peugeot.
I arrived brisk and bright at Real for 7.30am to load the Real Mobile and get off to the race to set up before any runners arrived. We load, we drive, we stop for a bagel in McDonalds. We arrive on site to find one wheel as flat as Lady Cassandra. And as they are setting up the race site, we now cant call the AA to fix it as they wont be able to get to us until the site is cleared. Then our producer realised he had brought nothing to record the interview with the actress who plays Stacey in Gavin & Stacey and can I pop back to the station (45 min drive each way) and pick up a flashman. Its 9.15 .. first race is 11 .... touch and go, but not impossible, so I get in his pool car and floor it back to Cardiff in record time. Except there is no flashman in his studio. Or the other studio. Or in news. Oh well, cant be helped, bit of a waste of drive, but if I floor it back again, I can be there to do what I am supposed to be doing at the stage. Then he calls me back ... Richard took it home .. can I go and meet him at Culverhouse Cross Maccy D's and pick it up ... well .. that about 20 min from work .. so a bit out of the way, but still do-able. Off I scoot. After going around the roundabout for the eighth time seeing only Burger King ... I realise I need to head off to the retail park round the corner ... and sure enough, find my target. Floor it back to Swansea .... but the main road in is a part of the course and has closed .... so I sit ... going about 500 yards over 90 minutes ... until traffic slowly starts to crawl down the alternate routes which they open once the bulk of the runners have gone .... and arrive on site for the last few to come over the finish line. 'Stacey' has left ... so there is no interview to even get any more. I just sit back, wait for the site to clear and the AA to arrive ..... and try and calm down. The easiest way to wind me up ... is always make me sit in traffic. Make me do if for no reason and its safer to just leave me alone.
But you know, I was getting paid, so its not all bad.

But Seriously...

... who the hell marks a play down because its too realistic?
Nobody I hear you cry!
Well, you'd think. Sadly, Mr Paul Fowler GODA, does exactly that. And I'm very glad he does too. Because it meant we didn't win the Welsh Final, so its one less thing for me to cram into my diary twice a week.
We went on and did what I think was actually our best performance to date. Despite the stage manager standing behind our set and chatting through the entire play, quite audibly too.
As you know, I don't stick around for all the after show bollocks as its not why I go onstage, but I hear I got a favourable adjudication, which was nice. Suzanne's was positive. Kay's was not. It was felt she pitched too high or too low. Les, the plays author happened to be in that night (and what a lovely man he is too. Very touched he came down and saw us perform) and he made sure that the adjudicator knew in no uncertain terms, that actually, Kay was spot on with her portrayal of Rose, since it was based on his own Mother. It was at that point, when pressed, that Mr Fowler admitted that actually what he didn't like was that the play made him uncomfortable for being too realistic. Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Realism? In a drama? That's where I have been going wrong all these years.
Now I am glad I spent most of the start of the evening taking the piss out of his picture in the programme.

And now for some long overdue Doctor Who catching up!
All hail the Moff! How superb was that two parter? I am thinking that River Song will show up during series 5 at some point ... that would be a nice touch. She is, I am told, the new series stab at Bernice Summerfield, but since they don't have rights to her as a character, they have invented River Song to be her in all but name. In which case, lets def see more of her.
I do love the way SM takes the most basic of human fears and makes you shit your pants even more over them. Piranha like aliens that live in our shadows, blink and the angels will get you. I am so glad I am not watching this as a 7 year old. I'd need therapy. Oh who am I kidding, I do need therapy!
And I want a future sonic. That was cool! It has a red setting. You hear that Master and your laser wank? Red. HA!
Then this week was the delight of Midnight. I was so not convinced by the premise. Sounded like they were doing a cheap ep to save cash for some explosive finale or something. BAH! I thought. And then that fabulous study in all things nasty about human behaviour came along. I know plenty about paranoia and how the voices in your head convince you of something from nothing in 3 seconds flat - you ask Dan! So it was a relief to see its not just me. RTD clearly has the same issues to have come up with that. Expected nothing, but it delivered everything. Its nice to be wrong once in a while ...
... which i wasn't about the title of episode 12. The Stolen Earth. Which i said about 2 months ago ... when most forum users were wittering on about War on Skaro ... and a few select cunts, I mean individuals, flaming me to the point I left the new series threads and haven't been back since. I am told that a friend of mine has flaunted it in their faces a bit, in my absence that they were wrong ...
And now, I await Turn Left, like Smeagol looking at his food bowl in the mornings. Cannot wait. Then again, should have it in my paws tomorrow or weds, so that's good.
And what else is to come? Pictures have surfaced of a certain big bad and a red friend of his, that may or may not feature another returning character in its innards. Not as excited about that as I should be probably. Kind of waiting to see on that.
But of course, last week was the milestone that is 37.
I came into work on weds, first birthday I have worked in 19 years! But this was so that I could have Thursday and Friday off to go Baldock way and see Mark & Andrew. We had a trip to see Wicked (yes, again) on Thu night, with the free tickets I had managed to obtain via work. Being comps via marketing, I was expecting to be up in the nosebleeds, but was quite content with that. Imagine my surprise when I found we were in the middle of row H! Right at the front. Imagine my further surprise to find me old mucker David Stoller on stage playing Doctor Dillamond! Then imagine my anger at the silly cow behind me who couldn't see over my head and insisted on fake yawning and tutting through the entire first half. Even when I turned round and had a go at her for being a selfish cow, pointing It I had a large section of stage blocked by the hair of the man in front of me because he had a mohican thing ... actually, I can recall the exact words ..."I cant see much over his hair either, but unlike you I am not being selfish and disturbing it for anyone else so SHUT UP". But being an ignorant type, I don't think she even realised I was talking to her. In the interval, I pointed out some empty seats and suggested she moved. Which she did.
After the show, we eventually (because we had to wait for ever for Mark to go for a bloody wee) got to stage door to try and catch David .. but he had already gone. We did meet the main cast though and got a few autographs. The girl playing Elphaba signed my ticket, which is now framed in our hallway.
Naturally, because it was Mark & I, the entire night was an absolute scream.
Then Friday morning, after breakfast at the hotel listening to a mother and daughter have a conversation about dogging (I kid you not), we went to the Broadway for our private screening of The Wizard of Oz. Well worth seeing on the big screen, no matter how many Christmases you have seen it on the telly.
I was working Friday night, chaos that it was. Working Saturday, working Real Patrol and at the cinema Sunday .... and now feel like I could do with some sleep.
Goodnight!

Shadowplay

Ah, what a weekend.
Not a bad rehearsal Friday night. I lost the end of one of my lines, which sadly meant Suzanne's following line would make no sense at all, so things ground to a halt. It happens.
Saturday was a up early for a fire drill they didn't actually make us do as not enough people showed up. A quick shufty round Tesco to get food in for the evening and then off to the airport to fetch Ally, swinging into town to pick up Dan McGrath en route home.
From here on, Dan McGrath will be called other Dan, with my Dan as Proper Dan. The diligent will spot the reference.
So we already had the lovely Mark Leete down with us, so we all spent the afternoon watching some classic Who and drinking wine. By we, I mean they as I was flapping around determined the evening was a success.
People began arriving from about 6.15 and by 7.00 we were all sat around silently waiting for Silence in the Library. Which I thought was very good. Lots of still moments, incredibly atmospheric .... and lots of questions to be answered. Luckily, we had the second part to put on, so we didn't have to wait long .... just til about 10.30 .... so I wont say too much and will review it in depth next week. Largely as i cant quite recall which bits happened in which part and don't want to give anything away. I was right about the fate of Donna and the library people though.
We had a few drinks, lots of chat, a quiz that had some very sore losers - well one in particular bless him, and I should probably have made more lasagne as it went down very well.
Eventually, after being the last two standing (chatting in the kitchen) Ally and I headed to bed about 2.00am
Sunday was all about the low key.
dropped Ally back at the airport ..... watched the last three eps of Ugly Betty season 2 (not a patch on the season 1 finale .. although i did chuckle at Naomi Campbells cameo), bit of ironing, bed!
And now, quite frankly, I could go to sleep right here at my desk - but wont ...

Ooh Doctors Daughter!

There we go, bank holiday weekend done with. Including a bastard of a migraine Sunday night, which lingered and left me feeling rough as fuck all day Monday.
And now, for Doctor Who continuity sake, I need to go all out of order. But that's dealing with time travel for you.
Saturday night and KI'n'DA's military themed party for The Poison Sky. What larks! Our lovely hosts Richie and Jeff put on a great night, with karaoke (I sang Cher. Well, sang is pushing it .. growled is more like it. And I was the only sober person who sang .... and its just as well they had all been drinking to put up with my wailing) quizzes on the playstation thing - that I won both times I played - and an extensive tour of the library from Jeff. Which is two units, but worthwhile all the same. And we all passed round a fake Tera Patrick arse and pussy doll that was delivered to them by mistake. And we played with the vibrating bits to much amusement. And of course, we all gathered to watch The Poison Sky. And how cool was that? particular highlights include 'back of the neck', Sylvia's no nonsense axe business, the fire in the sky (which surely would have burned up all the oxygen in our atmosphere?) and the latest surprise Rose.
Now, I have been thinking .... is Rose looking for the Doctor to warn him of the impending theft of planet Earth (see missing planets theory), or has she come back from the events which are due (we think) in ep 11 when the Doctor himself is stolen? Time will tell. What a cracking two parter!
But on Friday night, I had the privilege of watching this coming weeks episode, The Doctors Daughter.
Wow.
The boards are alight with speculation about this daughter and where she may have come from ... and a few people are going to be gutted. Stop now if you don't wish to know.
She is made from a chunk taken from the Doctors hand ... not in the jar, but the one still on his arm. It uses technology to form all the bits it needs and forms a fully grown female, ready for battle. So she isn't a pre existing daughter, she is born there and then with the Doctor effectively Mother and Father to her. She does have two hearts, but is she a time lord? The Doctor is very nasty and bitter towards her at first, saying that every time he looks at her, he remembers his real family who are now all gone - and its in these moments that DD excels. The main story about warring factions of Humans and Hath didn't set my world alight ... but the consequences from it, the smaller character moments it gives Donna and the Doctor are what really stand this out. And the minor twist .. such as it is ... about the war, is something I doubt anyone will see coming.
And what becomes of the daughter? Can you say spin off?

Who's Right?

This weekend, was the legendary Vox Awards piss up. Radio Commercial Producers/writers, voice over artists and such all converge on the Hinckley Island hotel for an insane amount of alcoholic abuse. And .. joy of joys .... I had BBC 1 & 3 in my room, so managed to watch Who & Confidential before going down to dinner! I shan't bore you with ins and outs aside from mentioning an amazing rendition of Wired for Sound by Emma Clarke (you may know her as the 'tube lady' from the furore earlier in the year) & Richard Sweetman (you may know him as the Robbie Williams expert from that BBC1 lookey likey contest thing earlier this year), on roller boots complete with leg warmers. I have a chorus on video ... but my laptop has decided it no longer likes the samsung studio programme I need to use to get it off my phone ... but do hang on for it... when it appears, its worth it. Probably. Well, Rach will love it, anyway.
And so to my predictions for The Sontaran Stratagem .... wasn't far off, was I?
It has reached a point where they might as well set off sirens and have a big WARNING WARNING DANGER DONNA NOBLE sign every time they hint at her life being in the Doctors hands .... did I say hint? Its not so much a hint as a smack in the chops really.
But I really liked it! I had heard Martha was terrible in it ..... and that Freema was as good as a plank of wood ... but I totally disagree. I thought she played a very realistic Martha Jones, who has clearly grown and developed - even since her time in Torchwood. I thought she was superb.
And how much did I laugh at the Doctor mistaking Donna's request to go home for a cuppa? Genius. I didn't think much to the actor playing the child genius. He has one of those faces I just think looks better after I have punched it. As well as thinking how lovely his lair was and what a great job he'd done decorating it since Gwen and Rhys had their wedding in there.... And I am going to gloss over the Sontaran Haka .....
But see .... the cars emitting poison gases! Its all in the sat nav ..... Atmos! Did you notice the taxi in Partners in Crime has an Atmos sticker in it? Eh? Eh? That RTD ..... like I keep telling you - nothing is an accident. Love or loathe his writing style, he is a very clever young man indeed! And I think he's brilliant!

Sontaran of Brunei

What a week.
Friday was mucho madness as it was Telstars night to perform both of our plays at the Glamorgan Drama League One Act Festival. Which means I have finally got shot of that fuck awful trophy .... don't get me wrong, it meant a lot to win it but by god is it ugly.
Festival days always mean a lot of buggering about loading and unloading set and props, everyone getting uber stressed for absolutely no reason (ergo me going into 'quiet mode' so I can actually just focus on getting stuff done rather than the flapping/blaming game that always seems to kick off in amateur theatre.
So we were on first and due to the set being too small for the stage, I had to spend the 36 minutes I wasn't on stage pressed up against a door. I entered and exit through it, but couldn't get to the wings without being visible ... so there you are.
The Unknown Theatre Company were on after us, with a play that got a very mixed reaction. Strong language and sexual references were made throughout, but as a regular reader here, you will know that I wasn't bothered by that. The performance by its very young cast was nothing short of stunning. Four very strong performers, held my attention from start to finish with a script that had no real narrative to speak of. Its one of those arty bollocks things that you either get or you don't .... and lets just say that a lot of it made sense to me. The poor girl who wrote the play took her own life at just 28 and from this text I can see how that came about - she had MAJOR issues. There were four streams of consciousness ... I think its up to the individual to interpret exactly how/who/what/why each one was about and I wouldn't presume to tell you. I could only offer what I took from it. The set consisted of just four office chairs on wheels with the backs removed for the cast to wheel about on, a hollowed out TV and also a laptop for internet and TV broadcasts and a large mirror. The four actors showed a great range of emotion from predator to prey, joy to despair and desperation .. and Id guess they were 17 at most.... no mean feat. As i say, not for everyone but I thought this was a powerhouse performance from the entire cast. My only one very small nitpick .... the dancing in the nightclub bit .... I'd question whether any of them have ever actually been in a real nightclub - nobody dances like that! Then again, as I say .... they cast didn't look legally old enough to have had the experience of being off their tits at 4am, with the sweats kicking in and heading off to Old Compton Street before the come down hits you. Not that I have you understand .... um ... moving swiftly on ....
We won the festival! Yay for us! Arse. I didn't want to, as further performances may clash with major Doctor Who transmissions. We had just better be on the Fridays....... but its all on points, so there are no guarantees we are through to the final yet.
Pootled about the weekend, had work Sunday daytime, then by Sunday evening felt like shit with a terrible flu type of thing that saw me off my feet until this morning. And still hacking like I am about to cough up a lung. Joy.
But to more important matters. The following Doctor Who spoilers have been posted on digital spy, and two are red herrings.
Both the Ood and the Adipose make a surprise appearance.
Unlikely methinks. Not so soon.
Wilf has been put on a macrobiotic diet.
Probably. But again, no line is a throwaway with RTD at the helm.
When The Doctor first reunites with Martha and learns that she is now a Doctor, he sings the chorus from the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua to her. She is not impressed and calls him 'Mr Cheese'.
I fully endorse this as being true for no other reason than the song was stuck in my head all day weds for no reason whatsoever.
The Sontarans discuss their involvement in the Time War.
Of course .... after all, that's sort of where this is all heading this year, to tie up these four series and then move on.
The Doctor berates a child genius over his decision not to deploy the conditional clause in conversation.
And that will be a Shadow Proclamation reference you mark my words
A Sontaran leader is called a 'baked potato' by a human.
I called them potatoes as a kid, so yeah, why not.
The Doctor displays his squash skills - much to the annoyance of a Sontaran. It's not just cricket the Time Lord excels at.
I say yes ... but not what people think ..... he will bounce something off a wall 'squash stylee' - not actually don white shorts and a headband
Someone experiences death by Sat Nav.
A car does drive into a river in the trailer.....
Rose Tyler is briefly glimpsed for a couple of seconds when she emerges from the slime after being cloned by the Sontarans
Rose will be glimpsed .. but nothing to do with slime.... probably.

Titter Not!

The Fires of Pompeii then eh?
Wow. Great sets, great FX, some cracking writing from the warped genius that is James Moran and a bloody great volcano.
Again, not going to go into telling you what happened, no point really. But further to my list of items to watch .... based on what we saw this week and what appears in the trailer for next week .... whats this about the Doctor and Donna being mistaken for a married couple everywhere they go? That's no accident, I'll lay!
And the Pyrovile soldiers ... I know they are supposed to look like Roman Centurions, but I couldn't help look at those heads and think of certain Transformers. See Terrorsaur's robot face in Beast Wars for a prime example.
And what did the girl see? Something on Donna's back ... hmm .. that ties in with ep 11 I suspect. She is coming back ... Rose? Or maybe not ... And this talk of a terrible decision, leading us to believe that this relates to the decision made to sacrifice Pompeii to save the world - don't you believe it! That's coming back at the end of the series, I am thinking, when the Doctor has to choose which of his companions lives and dies. Perhaps.
Watch this space!!

And I know I am twisted and evil and going to burn in hell for all eternity, but this just made me laugh

Partners in Crime

Ok, so the Doctor is back ... and then some. I shan't rabbit on about the plot. Because you either are a fan and saw it, or not a fan and don't give a shit. So lets just chat theories and shit, yeah?
Okies ... so the bees have all gone missing? Its a total throw away comment but I reckon that's coming back to sting us.
And the Adipose 'lost' their breeding planet. Again, almost thrown away as a comment ... but if we are building to something mahoosive ... you can bet other planets are going to be lost along the way
Who/what is/are the Shadow Proclamation? Some big council that oversees intergalactic law? Keep your eye on them too
And the biggie ..... Rose. Ok, so my theory .... that is the Rose we know, trying to come back to warn us about something. Then, she comes back in ep 11 'Left Turn' I reckon that wont be our Rose! Then our Rose will come back for 12 & 13 .... just you wait and see!
Ok, now for pictures .... and since I can never make this fucking work without stupid gaps, you are just going to have to scroll a lot.
How amusing was this!!












Rumours that obsessed onlookers had been making small models of the British Gas call centre out of mashed potato are unfounded.













And did you see this .... he skipped! Bless!












Look! Evita! You saw this and thought of me, didn't you?












And as soon as I saw the first picture, the back of the head .. I knew what was coming. What a great secret and so well kept - good an ya Upper Boat kids. You rock and I want hard bodily sex with each and every one of you. But particularly Ed Thomas, because he is fucking hot.

MAXIMUM EXTERMINATION

So this was Friday night. After being alerted by Scott to filming down on Riverside, we picked him up then headed down for a few hours.

We saw them lay the track and put a man inside this dalek and record a scene from a few angles. This Dalek seems to be talking to a crowd of people. It said Men, women and descendants will be taken by the Daleks. A man is then heard (not the actor, just the AD filling in the lines) to send his family indoors and tells the Daleks to go back into the sky where they came from.

The Dalek cried 'Maximum extermination' and then fired. All this time, Wilf and Sylvia look on from an alleyway. Wilf has a paintball gun and says he plans to shoot the eye stalk, impairing the Dalek's vision. After the maximum extermination, Syvlia leads him away. They also shot scenes with a Dalek catching Wilf in an alleyway and is about to exterminate him when Rose arrives with a fuck off big gun and blows the Dalek up. We also saw a crowd of extra reacting to the maximum extermination. I'm not sure if they get wiped out or if the Dalek shoots the house the aforementioned family go and hide in - as the crowd were rained with debris ...... but somebody bites it, that is for sure

Now, from the position we were in, as the Dalek was performing its speech to the crowd, it was rolling right at us - looking at us. Apparently even Daleks use camera left and right techniques. Such professionals. The first rehearsal was actually spine chilling. It's no secret that I have never found Daleks to be particularly threatening. Cybermen always scared me much more as a child... but being there, with a real Dalek about 20 feet away, rolling towards me, with its proper voice calling out for my surrender, and then pointing its gun at us and crying out maximum extermination ... I don't mind admitting it was a frightening moment. Even though I could see Nick Briggs off to one side in the van doing the voice, even though there were a good 30 crew members and security milling about, even though I was stood with about 20 people behind a barrier, and even though I could see the trainers of the Dalek operator carefully wending his way along the tracking the case was resting on, so as not to trip over the rungs ..... all the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I had to cover my mouth to prevent myself crying out and ruining the shot.

That's the power of Doctor Who.

Who What?

Ok, this post is going to be sort of spoilerific, so shy away now if you don't wish to hear the rumblings from the fan community.

Still here?

Sure you want to stay?


Ok good.
Probably talking to myself now, aren't I?
So latest rumour that has all the people, who in my head look and sound like comic book guy off The Simpsons, reaching for their keyboards and posting in earnest, is that the Supreme Dalek is back at the end of series 4/season 30 (depending on how traditional you are). It will be red (the controversy), a different gun (shock!) and have three 'ear lamps' - the things that flash when they speak and I am sure are just indicators nicked off an old mini cooper (scandal. Three! THREE!! Will I'll go to the foot of our stairs. Quite what I'm supposed do once there, nobody has ever explained. Might have a wank) and that when the internal occupant of said Dalek is revealed, it will be none other than Harriet Jones, previously MP for Flydale North and deposed Prime Minister. Initially, this does sound awful, but I do have to reserve judgement until I see it... if its even true. Of course, in this we also allegedly have every companion that ever lived and Davros.
One villain does a Borg Queen-esque entry .... ie the whole coming down on a crane thing I guess.

Roll on mid-late June!

Cruising, Crashing & Dusting

I just received a mail from some bod in our group I have never heard of, thus:
Hi everybody,
I am seeing a cruise company this week with a campaign for which will command direct response.
Does anybody have any successes with Cruise companies I could use a testimonial to prove direct response??
If not something similar would be great.
Thanks

And I am so tempted to reply that we cant advertise that sort of thing on air! And what would that testimonial be?
"I am Jeff, and I regularly hang around the local park at 11pm, looking for men to perform orally with. I first had success advertising my wares on Real Radio in 2005. Usually, I would cop off with around 3 different guys a week, but after advertising where and when I would be on the radio, I found queues had formed before I got there. I was so astounded by the response, I now take my 17 year old son out with me to help with the demand and have to wear a nappy during daytime hours to avoid seepage"

Of course Friday was the event that was Time Crash.
Fuck me. Came in my pants. Twice. If you haven't seen it, its on the BBC website until Friday only! I could rave about it in minutiae detail, I loved it that much .. but I shan't. Yet anyway.
And last night we saw Stardust. A charming we film that has just the right mix of magic, mystery and chuckles to keep all of them going. Its nothing you probably haven't seen before, in a variety of other guises and places, but cute enough to keep you entertained throughout. Particular mention goes to Robert De Niro - but you'll have to peruse the flick to see why - it would spoil it if I told you!
My only minor quibble: Why cast such great talents as the dead Princes if all they are going to do is watch and clap on the sidelines?

Who dear? Me dear?

Catherine Tate is returning to the Tardis as the Doctor's full time companion for series 4.
This seems to be getting mixed reactions. I think its a good idea as she is a very accomplished actress. The general concern is that she was very much like her character of Lauren in The Runaway Bride. I think that was written that way because A) It was funny and B) was only for the special, which as I have said before, is a load of camp nonsense and perfect Christmas Day fayre. I am sure they will develop her properly now that she is in for the longer term.
This did lead me to imagine how they could deal with her characters though..... say, if they made Donna a sufferer of split personalities.......

Doctor: Its a TARDIS
Nan: A what?
Doctor: TARDIS. Time and relative dimensions in space
Nan: Oh. Not a carsy then?
Doctor: What? No.
Nan: Oh. Thought you was offering me a lavatory. I might be old but I don't need a commode thank you very much.
Doctor: No .. it just means its bigger on the inside.
Nan: I mean, its all very well but i can get to the toilet on my own thank you. Tardis? What a load of old shit!
Doctor: But, its a ship. My ship .. it travels in time and space.
Nan: You telling me you'd take me in there and whisk me off ... to fucking Mars at the time of the Blitz?
Doctor: If you wanted to, yes.
Nan: What a fucking liberty!

TARDIS Int. The Doctor sets the time rotor in motion. It descends
Margaret: AAAAAGH
Time rotor ascends
Margaret: AAAAGH
Time rotor descends
Margaret: AAAAGH
And so on.......

The Doctor: Why don't you come with me. Last of the Time Lords, I could use a companion.
Derek: Beg pardon?
The Doctor: Well, I just thought...
Derek: What are you insinuating? From one Lord to another?
The Doctor: Well, no ... but ... well, not that it matters, but aren't you gay?
Derek: who dear? Me dear? Gay dear? No dear?
The Doctor: Sorry. Like I say, it wouldn't matter, I mean you couldn't be any worse than Jack...
Derek: Well. 25 years mother and I have been following your adventures, and you accuse me of riding the meaty time rotor! I find you impertinent! Good day!

Doctor: Its a Sonic Screwdriver
Bernie: I like a good screw me. Has it got many settings Doctor?
Doctor: Well, its got a few.....
Bernie: Cuz like, we'd be a couple you an me. You bein a quack and me bein a nurse like. We could play Doctors and nurses. Hide the sonic screwdriver...
SFX: Tardis de-materialises.....

Mrs: So were were on New Earth
Doctor: New earth, bear in mind..
Mrs: And this Cat nun comes over... and she's got a bag of some virus
Doctor: Don't ask!
Mrs: And I says to her, is that safe? And she says..
Doctor: You wont believe this....
Mrs: Its a cure for .. what did she call it?
Doctor: Petrifold Regression
Mrs: A disease, that turns you into stone.
Doctor: a statue basically! And this is in New New York.
Mrs: The dirty, thieving, hairball, praying, stone cold bastards.

Travelling Light Years.....

Image taken from the BBC website for excitement mongering purposes.

Change Your Heart - it will astound you

OK. I have now seen Last of the Time Lords twice more (three if you count with Russell, Julie & Phil's hilarious commentary) and am quite loving it.
Still think the CGI Doctor thing is a bit pants ... but everyone knows that I am a total cockjugglingthundercunt about CGI. It has to be flawless and 100% look like its real for me to grudgingly allow it. To date, very little CGI has impressed me still, when mixed with a live action scene. Don't even start me on the footage at the foot of the London Eye in Rise of the Silver Surfer (the old back projected driving effects in Connerys bond films is better). I have now, however, taken hold of the Peter Pan ending (clap if you believe in Time Lords!) and embraced it like your ex wife, whom you have just hauled from a river and beat on the chest until she started coughing up slurry and began breathing again. Unless it was Hollywood, in which case no amount of CPR would work, but as soon as she is clinically declared dead, as long as you take out all your anguish on her and slap her about a bit, she will, after a few seconds grace, do the coughing up slurry and breathing thing. But I digress.
Still not impressed with the Titanic thing much actually .... wasn't there a better way to do that cliffhanger? If the money was being spent, how about the Doctor walking out of the Tardis, finding himself on deck with the Iceberg looming? Mind you, that's easy for me to say, I'm not writing the bloody thing.
And Martha. Dear, dear Martha. Off to Torchwood to play. She'll enjoy that. Then going back to play in the Tardis for half a series. Leaving them looking for a new companion....
What? well, I dunno .... my schedule is quiet busy actually ..... well, if they ask REALLY REALLY nicely, I may consider it
note to RTD, Julie Gardner, Phil Collinson or any other related party who may find this blog: I'd actually bite your hand off for the chance of an audition if you wave one at me .. and please do, I'm brilliant, me! Won awards and everything. Love you!

Wont Get Fooled Again

So ... Doctor Who. Seems to be splitting opinions. Dan, Rach, Mark L, Jamie G & I are in the not loving it camp. John, Gav, Rich & Maria are in the loving it side .. Look away now and come back when you have seen it or get spoiled!

Toclafane. Fucking knew it! Quite happy with this aspect. Personally felt it was a bit of a given.
Then they turned the Doctor into a cross between Gollum and Dobby the House Elf. I laughed at this.... which is when my disappointment set in.
Not entirely convinced by the Doctor spending a year tuning into a psychic satellite network to be honest. And the whole world chanting Doctor, Doctor turning him into Jesus or something ... very reminiscent of the end of Care Bear Movie II: A New Generation. Really!
Jack is the Face of Boe? Ok .. admit, I loved this.....
The Master dead? The only thing I wanted was them not to kill him off. Granted, they did the Flash Gordon pastiche at the end, after the Return of the Jedi pastiche.... so its open for his return. I have had one friend wonder if those red painted nails belong to the Rani. I'd say not but think its the wife ... or the Master has regenerated into Joanna Lumley.
Martha left! Well, written, acted and shot ... but a bit gutted as really liked her. My theory is this though, DT is very likely to leave at the end of series 4 if you ask me, so would Freema have been .. and bringing in a completely new Doctor and companion is a lot of work ... so bring in the new companion during series 4 and life's easier all round. I have heard that Martha will show up next year and will appear in Torchwood too. I hope so. Freema has been wonderful
And then the Titanic ... oh come on? They came up with a handy macguffin to explain Donna's appearance ... how the hell did a ship crash through the Tardis wall? I am assuming the shipbound setting means that they don't have to go on the streets of Cardiff with Kylie in tow ... so my stalking plans need to adapt!
Now don't get me wrong ... it was still better than most telly these days .... just didn't live up to what I expected. Maybe I ask too much?

The Last of the Time Lords

So did you see Doctor Who?
Bet you weren't disappointed! It has left us with many many 'how the hell are they going to get out of that?' type questions. Pete, look away NOW!

The Toclafane? Who are they? Exactly which void did the sky, spectacularly rip open to reveal? Particularly if it was caused by a Paradox Device! Theories are abounding that its the Time Lords, the residents from Utopia, Daleks & Cybermen or even the population of the Earth from Rose's alternate universe. The key is in the Masters line ... 'If I told you, your hearts would break.....' My money is on Time Lords. Dan even has a theory that its the Time Lords and Gallifrey will be reborn, but from the beginning again .... so all this had to happen for them to exist in the first place. That certainly is a paradox alright.
The Doctor? Well, we know that Lazarus' technology works to make you younger, even if you do turn into a bad CGI monster in the process, so he will be returned to normal.
Jack? cant and wont die. Seen in trailer with gun. But is that the same Jack left in the control room? See below!
Martha. Stunning. Freema has a band of naysayers dogging her every move (yes, I am looking at you Mr Bennett!). I have loved her from day one and in these final shots, she knocked Billie right into touch with that performance. And that little look ...... 'Its like you fancy someone and they don't even notice you're there' .... brilliant. And did her own stunt driving! Go girl! But where has Martha gone? Who will she bring back? Again, rumours abound of a return for Rose... cant see it myself. The Judoon - would bookend this series nicely. An alternate Jack? Possibly. Sarah-Jane? No. as much as I would love her to make an appearance, how the hell would Martha know who she is? That's the thing you see. Wherever Martha goes, unless she meets a character by accident, she can only be going to get help from somebody from series 3, as that's all she knows. leaving us: Judoon, William Shakespeare, The Face of Boe (who does have more to be revealed about his origins and true identity), any of the people stuck on the motorway, Laslo and Tallulah, Lazarus (yes, he died but she can go through time and space with that gizmo, right), that bloke she fancied in 42 (ooh, yes ... he's a good option now I think about it), Tim from 1912, The Family of Blood - not a wise move but they could sniff out the Master and eat him, doubt she'd bother with anyone from Blink as she really had v little to do with them .... bringing us to Utopia .... and I cant see Futurekind being much use and if you were going to skip off to the year 100 trillion, you'd just stop Yana while you are there really. Whomever comes back with her, I have been told by a person who knows, to not get excited about it or I will probably be disappointed!
I just hope that after two cracking episodes that really put just about all other telly, let alone sci fi, into touch, that they can actually live up to it and its not a bit flat or a cop out.
And of course, about three months ago, this happened down Roald Dahl Plass, and was on you tube within hours, so we know that all's well that ends well .. ish.

Please take your seats

The first very much not official online tour of Doctor Who locations is about to begin.




So there you are, that is the Powell Estate. And so is this:




















Mark Leete at locations from The Idiot Lantern:

The outside of the Welsh Assembly Government Offices. The inside of which housed the Lazarus Experiment. To find the exterior they showed, youd need to trip up to the city centre and sit on the museum steps.















And finally for this trip ...

So Here It Comes, The Sound of Drums...

Don't miss Doctor Who this weekend. I was once again graciously allowed to borrow the preview disc from a journo. And the second the episode stopped, watched it again. Its THAT good.

And is it just me, or does anyone else read this and see penis production notes? I am blaming the background and font combo.

The Oncoming Storm

I have a feeling of apprehension. Its been brewing a while. My concentration has is worse than usual and I am restless. Its been growing over recent weeks and I've had this before. That time was when we were on the verge of redundancy in Luton. And the facts I have been gleaning lately have lead me to the conclusion that, as Carly Simon said, its coming around again.
Change is afoot, I am sure
And yet, even with all this, I feel something good just beyond the horizon.

Do You Hear What I hear?

Sweet lord of all the is mighty on a bike .... Doctor Who was good this week. Saying nothing more than that to protect Pete's Innocent little eyes from spoilers. But that was part one of three ... so i am expecting a brain busting ball banging explosion of a cliff hanger for next week. Actually, who am I kidding ... I am well versed in next weeks ep, including the cliffhanger but just cant wait to see it! And for the finale? Only a few people outside the production have been privileged with that. Even the staff at Doctor Who monthly wont get to see it until 7.10 June 30th on BBC1 with the rest of us....

Other than that, it was a relatively quiet weekend to be honest. We are still waiting for that phone call. So most else is on hold.
I did make two new friends however. One a 19 year old lad from Caerphilly who is just discovering who he is and wants to experiment .. well, he kind of has some experience now *cough*
The other is a 21 year old who had me on his friends list on MSN ... turns out we had a mutual friend who put him in touch with me as somebody to talk to when he first came out a year ago or so (I vaguely recall this after thinking about it.... but might be inventing the memory).

Saturday night, I did pop out to Jo West's 40th birthday party at Llandaff Institute. (remember the scene of the war memorial at the end of Family of Blood, where Martha & the Doctor see Tim as an old man? That's where I parked my car!) It was 80s fancy dress. Nobody told me. Well, i say nobody told me, it was on the invite but I lost that weeks ago. I strolled in, dark blue shirt with light blue tee under it, black jeans, red converse ..... well, it was a bit like Michael Jackson in The Way You Make Me Feel video.......
I had made Jo her pressie. A double CD of every number one single on her birthday from birth on .. so 41 tracks ranging from Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep, through Gary Glitter to Doctorin the Tardis (really!). Also a bottle of Pinot Grigio, since it was Jo who wrote and directed A Little Extra Help and one of my lines was ... 'A Pinot Grigio, A good accompaniment to a variety of dishes and of course delightful to drink on its own....' so felt it was apt.

And, that's about it really.