My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

I couldn't find a suitable title for this post, for reasons that will become clear.
On Friday afternoon, I had a call from a friend and former NTL Swansea colleague to inform me that her nephew and one time acquaintance of mine, had died. Seemingly suicide. No, he isn't from Bridgend.
Now, I do have to say, he wasn't a close friend. In fact, if anything, I think he saw me as in the way a bit as he was very attracted to Dan. He'd occasionally send Dan messages to the effect that he could be a better boyfriend to Dan than I was being. Dan, of course knows better, because I am the best boyfriend anyone could ever wish for (NOT! every day I wake up and he is still putting up with my shit is just a miracle frankly). But still it was something of a shock as the man was only a year or so older than me. And the real headspin is that he was on my mind two evenings last week, after not having given him a second thought for months
Apparently, his father died some months ago and his mother is terribly ill in an Alzheimer's ward, so he had moved back home.
So far, so bit-sad-but-what-can-you-do
Then yesterday I had another call. Possibly not suicide, but may have been a tragic accident after a drink and drugs binge. Not hard street drugs crack stylee, but more Heath ledger style tragedy.
And if you are eating, please stop now and come back when you are done
The house was a total mess. Piss, shit, vomit and blood seemed to be everywhere. Walls, floors, clothes, beds, chairs - all covered. Syringes littered the floor where he used to inject himself with something that gave him fake tan. They also discovered he was HIV+. We can never know what events lead to this, but whatever it was, it wasn't pleasant. he'd already had one big breakdown many years ago - was this another?
Now, his sister and another member of the family had to go through the house and clear up. Which they did - and found his leather gear too. Nought wrong in that you probably think. Hell, we have two drawers of leather stuff at home .. trousers, chaps, thongs ... its hardly the shock of the century. But these evil bitches took great delight in being vindictive, spiteful and homophobic about it. A member of their family who had just died. And my mate who was there was horrified by it all. Even two days later on the phone to me, her voice was cracking up relaying the tales of their sneering and jeering as they went about putting everything in bin liners before just dropping it off at the local dump.
yes .... just the dump .... with all the body fluids and syringes inside .... for any council worker, scavenger or such to just go through and find. Granted, HIV cant live outside the human body, so that isn't a risk ... but goodness knows what else what might be there. It should have been taken to the hospital for incineration.
I have offered that of my friend can get hold of his mobile, I'll go through it and make the dreaded call to his contacts. God knows, we cant let these heathens do it. I may even attend the funeral .. not because I have any great need to deal with my own grief over it, but because somebody may need to be there to make sure the man is laid to rest with some dignity, because fuck knows, he wont get it from his immediate family.
But to happier things
Madonna's new album is out! Hurrah! Only managed one listen so far, but Spanish Lesson and Beat Goes On are standing out as faves at the moment. I very rarely instantly love a new Madonna album .. or any album for that matter. I find I will like something but we have to bond. Spend time with each other, grow to love our own foibles. The only time I ever instantly hit it off, was Ray of Light, which remains my fave Madonna album to this day. perhaps I should write up my relationships with each album? or would that just be silly?
And on the ever growing list of shit to look out for in Doctor Who (god help you trying to watch an individual episode .... you miss half of it listening for buzz words). Dan spotted another - Medusa Cascade. I am going to stick my neck out and say Davros is hiding there!

Monday, 28 April 2008

Who's Right?

This weekend, was the legendary Vox Awards piss up. Radio Commercial Producers/writers, voice over artists and such all converge on the Hinckley Island hotel for an insane amount of alcoholic abuse. And .. joy of joys .... I had BBC 1 & 3 in my room, so managed to watch Who & Confidential before going down to dinner! I shan't bore you with ins and outs aside from mentioning an amazing rendition of Wired for Sound by Emma Clarke (you may know her as the 'tube lady' from the furore earlier in the year) & Richard Sweetman (you may know him as the Robbie Williams expert from that BBC1 lookey likey contest thing earlier this year), on roller boots complete with leg warmers. I have a chorus on video ... but my laptop has decided it no longer likes the samsung studio programme I need to use to get it off my phone ... but do hang on for it... when it appears, its worth it. Probably. Well, Rach will love it, anyway.
And so to my predictions for The Sontaran Stratagem .... wasn't far off, was I?
It has reached a point where they might as well set off sirens and have a big WARNING WARNING DANGER DONNA NOBLE sign every time they hint at her life being in the Doctors hands .... did I say hint? Its not so much a hint as a smack in the chops really.
But I really liked it! I had heard Martha was terrible in it ..... and that Freema was as good as a plank of wood ... but I totally disagree. I thought she played a very realistic Martha Jones, who has clearly grown and developed - even since her time in Torchwood. I thought she was superb.
And how much did I laugh at the Doctor mistaking Donna's request to go home for a cuppa? Genius. I didn't think much to the actor playing the child genius. He has one of those faces I just think looks better after I have punched it. As well as thinking how lovely his lair was and what a great job he'd done decorating it since Gwen and Rhys had their wedding in there.... And I am going to gloss over the Sontaran Haka .....
But see .... the cars emitting poison gases! Its all in the sat nav ..... Atmos! Did you notice the taxi in Partners in Crime has an Atmos sticker in it? Eh? Eh? That RTD ..... like I keep telling you - nothing is an accident. Love or loathe his writing style, he is a very clever young man indeed! And I think he's brilliant!

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Friday, 25 April 2008

Come Fly with Me

Last night we went to see the divine comedy that is Pam Ann.
I cannot recommend this show enough.
The first half is delivered akin to her being an air hostess and you are all in departures at an airport, with the second half being set on board the plane. There is a lot of audience interaction, bad language and downright filth. So you can see why I loved it.
Six unsuspecting genuine trolley dollys were pulled from the audience continually across the night, to be gently poked fun at ... and then she came out into the cabin to talk to the various sections of the craft. We were way back in economy, so we didn't see her.
The genuine consensus did seem to be that Virgin Atlantic staff spend more time giving head than attending to passengers.
Now hang on! We flew Premium Economy to and from Florida and not once did any of the crew offer to suck me off. I feel cheated. Granted, I am sure on the way back the male attendant was gagging to get his mouth round Dan's, but Dan being the tactile gent he is, just sat down and fell asleep for most of the flight. Fool!
Pam is still touring on and off for the rest of the year, so try and catch her - you wont be disappointed

Thursday, 24 April 2008

Sontaran of Brunei

What a week.
Friday was mucho madness as it was Telstars night to perform both of our plays at the Glamorgan Drama League One Act Festival. Which means I have finally got shot of that fuck awful trophy .... don't get me wrong, it meant a lot to win it but by god is it ugly.
Festival days always mean a lot of buggering about loading and unloading set and props, everyone getting uber stressed for absolutely no reason (ergo me going into 'quiet mode' so I can actually just focus on getting stuff done rather than the flapping/blaming game that always seems to kick off in amateur theatre.
So we were on first and due to the set being too small for the stage, I had to spend the 36 minutes I wasn't on stage pressed up against a door. I entered and exit through it, but couldn't get to the wings without being visible ... so there you are.
The Unknown Theatre Company were on after us, with a play that got a very mixed reaction. Strong language and sexual references were made throughout, but as a regular reader here, you will know that I wasn't bothered by that. The performance by its very young cast was nothing short of stunning. Four very strong performers, held my attention from start to finish with a script that had no real narrative to speak of. Its one of those arty bollocks things that you either get or you don't .... and lets just say that a lot of it made sense to me. The poor girl who wrote the play took her own life at just 28 and from this text I can see how that came about - she had MAJOR issues. There were four streams of consciousness ... I think its up to the individual to interpret exactly how/who/what/why each one was about and I wouldn't presume to tell you. I could only offer what I took from it. The set consisted of just four office chairs on wheels with the backs removed for the cast to wheel about on, a hollowed out TV and also a laptop for internet and TV broadcasts and a large mirror. The four actors showed a great range of emotion from predator to prey, joy to despair and desperation .. and Id guess they were 17 at most.... no mean feat. As i say, not for everyone but I thought this was a powerhouse performance from the entire cast. My only one very small nitpick .... the dancing in the nightclub bit .... I'd question whether any of them have ever actually been in a real nightclub - nobody dances like that! Then again, as I say .... they cast didn't look legally old enough to have had the experience of being off their tits at 4am, with the sweats kicking in and heading off to Old Compton Street before the come down hits you. Not that I have you understand .... um ... moving swiftly on ....
We won the festival! Yay for us! Arse. I didn't want to, as further performances may clash with major Doctor Who transmissions. We had just better be on the Fridays....... but its all on points, so there are no guarantees we are through to the final yet.
Pootled about the weekend, had work Sunday daytime, then by Sunday evening felt like shit with a terrible flu type of thing that saw me off my feet until this morning. And still hacking like I am about to cough up a lung. Joy.
But to more important matters. The following Doctor Who spoilers have been posted on digital spy, and two are red herrings.
Both the Ood and the Adipose make a surprise appearance.
Unlikely methinks. Not so soon.
Wilf has been put on a macrobiotic diet.
Probably. But again, no line is a throwaway with RTD at the helm.
When The Doctor first reunites with Martha and learns that she is now a Doctor, he sings the chorus from the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua to her. She is not impressed and calls him 'Mr Cheese'.
I fully endorse this as being true for no other reason than the song was stuck in my head all day weds for no reason whatsoever.
The Sontarans discuss their involvement in the Time War.
Of course .... after all, that's sort of where this is all heading this year, to tie up these four series and then move on.
The Doctor berates a child genius over his decision not to deploy the conditional clause in conversation.
And that will be a Shadow Proclamation reference you mark my words
A Sontaran leader is called a 'baked potato' by a human.
I called them potatoes as a kid, so yeah, why not.
The Doctor displays his squash skills - much to the annoyance of a Sontaran. It's not just cricket the Time Lord excels at.
I say yes ... but not what people think ..... he will bounce something off a wall 'squash stylee' - not actually don white shorts and a headband
Someone experiences death by Sat Nav.
A car does drive into a river in the trailer.....
Rose Tyler is briefly glimpsed for a couple of seconds when she emerges from the slime after being cloned by the Sontarans
Rose will be glimpsed .. but nothing to do with slime.... probably.

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Wednesday, 16 April 2008

Death Star Canteen

Eddie Izzard is a legend. Thanks to the sex God that is Kevin Charnas .. because I blatantly stole this from his blog.

And another thing, having now seen Planet of the Ood (yes, four days prior to transmission) I say two non spoilery things
1. I think it will be cut down from the version I saw. One scene was a tad grim for teatime audience, IMHO
2. Add global warming to my list of shit to look out for as a series thread.

Monday, 14 April 2008

Its a Who-off!

Scroll to the very bottom of this post, and read up or it wont make any sense, becuase I dont have time for all the copying and pasting it would require to do it in a descending manner.
thank you.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
And you are the ninth doctor's dirty earholes!!!

>>> "Paul Robinson" >>>
And finally then......
You are the First Doctors winkle!

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
You are K9's pooper scooper!
(Can we stop now.... I really should be getting some work done!)

>>> "Paul Robinson" >>
You are Rassilons Ring

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
You are Tegan's Jovanka

>>> "Paul Robinson" <
You are the stain under Jamie's kilt

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
you are Adric - No, better still, you are Matthew Waterhouse.

>>> "Paul Robinson"
You are Mel

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
You are Bannakaffalatta's tentacle spooge.

>>> "Paul Robinson">>>
You are the fendahls tendril poo

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
And you are a shaved Yeti.

>>> "Paul Robinson" >>
And you are Metebelis 3 Spiders egg sack

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
You're a Raxacoricofallapatorian's discharge.

>>> "Paul Robinson"
You are an open sore left by a Macras crabs (can crabs get crabs? Or do they get peoples?)

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
You're the Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe's left man boob.
(This is officially a "Who-Off"!)

>>> "Paul Robinson"
And you are a scab around the Terileptil leaders gammy eye

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
you, dear boy, are a Krillitane toothpick!

>>> "Paul Robinson" >>>
You're a cybermans used lubrication!

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
You're a Haemovore Haemorrhoid!

>>> "Paul Robinson" <>>>
And you are the Face of Boe's spittoon

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
And you are the contents of Novice Hame's kitty box

>>> "Paul Robinson" >>>
You're the Wyrrn's (sp?) green bubble wrap!

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete [
And you're a Vervoid dried seed pod.

>>> "Paul Robinson" 14/04/2008 13:29>>>
Well you're a Zygon fleshy sucker thing

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
And you are the Raston Warrior Robot's "smooth area"
Bring it, girlfriend!

>>> "Paul Robinson" 14/04/2008 13:25>>>
well you're a human dalek hybrids facial appendage!
This is so silly .... I love it!

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
And you're the Ood's dangly tentacles....
Oh, what larks! Your turn!

>>> "Paul Robinson" 14/04/2008
Well you're Roses snotty nose!
Mwah ha ha ha

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Leete
You ARE Martha!

>>> "Paul Robinson" 14/04/2008 13:15
I love Martha!!!!!

So Mark leete and I had a Who-off ... throwing Who related insults at each other ... read up for the results.

Titter Not!

The Fires of Pompeii then eh?
Wow. Great sets, great FX, some cracking writing from the warped genius that is James Moran and a bloody great volcano.
Again, not going to go into telling you what happened, no point really. But further to my list of items to watch .... based on what we saw this week and what appears in the trailer for next week .... whats this about the Doctor and Donna being mistaken for a married couple everywhere they go? That's no accident, I'll lay!
And the Pyrovile soldiers ... I know they are supposed to look like Roman Centurions, but I couldn't help look at those heads and think of certain Transformers. See Terrorsaur's robot face in Beast Wars for a prime example.
And what did the girl see? Something on Donna's back ... hmm .. that ties in with ep 11 I suspect. She is coming back ... Rose? Or maybe not ... And this talk of a terrible decision, leading us to believe that this relates to the decision made to sacrifice Pompeii to save the world - don't you believe it! That's coming back at the end of the series, I am thinking, when the Doctor has to choose which of his companions lives and dies. Perhaps.
Watch this space!!

And I know I am twisted and evil and going to burn in hell for all eternity, but this just made me laugh


Thursday, 10 April 2008

Simply Amazing, Unique and New, Every Mans Waking Dream

Last night I realised a dream of over 25 years and managed to see French & Saunders live.
They don't tour often. Off the top of my head, I think this is only the 4th or 5th in their 30 year career. This is also their last. After this tour, Dawn, as she put it, is going to Cornwall to die and Jennifer has other plans. They may still have projects and may even work together ... but not as French & Saunders, comedy partners.
Sat in the centre of the second row at Wales Millennium Centre, meant I had a superb view and was extremely close to them. And how much did I laugh? Really, I was in a lot of pain from it!
The show mainly consisted of highlights from the tv shows .... with some updates and minor re writes, old characters back for a last appearance etc. The sisters from Pear Tree Farm on trial for their crimes and misdemeanours with Star Pets, the original Mother & daughter sketch that became Ab Fab, a new piece from Baby Dawn, those Lucky Bitches, Madonna, the dirty old men - complete with frighteningly realistic prosthetic cocks and bollocks (we were close enough to see them in detail!). And that's merely touching the tip of the iceberg. At one point, after a loud solo cheer, I did get a thank you from Jennifer, which has just about made my life.
And, as I realised the show was coming to an end, I shed a few tears. Not from laughter, even though there had been plenty of those, but the sudden realisation that my comedy idols, for as long as I have had a sense of humour, were there, just 10 feet away, being brilliant. And I had waited so long for this and now, perfectly timed, it is the last I shall see of them as I have known and loved them. It was all a bit much for a few moments. Then they started dancing to ABBA Thank You For The Music and the laughter started again.
Dawn, Jennifer, if by any chance you actually manage to read this. Thank you. And remember, Ouvrez le Thora Hird.

And how cool is this? So impressed, I thought I'd share. Rather than Cher, which would involve turning back time. And The Doctor would never approve

Tuesday, 8 April 2008


Just a very quick breather before a few days of madness starts!
Tonight, after going to Asda (ooh the glamour), its last bit of cementing lines for Magpies, while doing some ironing (great way to work on lines ... its so dull and tedious the line learning seems like relief). Then tomorrow, after work its straight down the Bay for French & Saunders live at WMC. Actually not sure how I am going to cope. I have been fans since they used to be in Comic Strip Presents ... about 1982 ... so that's, what? 26 years? About the same time as I became a Madonna fan ... and I know how hyper I get at her gigs, sat half a stadium away. I am in the second row tomorrow night. *deep breaths.....*
From there, I have to dash across to drop Rach home in Swindon. Its a 3 hour round trip but it was that or she had to leave before the show ends, and I know I couldn't bear it if that had been me that had to leave. So bed about 1.00am!
Then up for work and straight to rehearsal Thursday, same again Friday and performance Saturday night!
Yes. I am having to miss Doctor Who to be onstage. Well, its not like I actually miss it as such, I will watch it recorded or on iplayer or such ... but I really didn't think this through, did I?
As part of this festival, I have been looking for guests to come along as we are hosting the British Final on home GDL ground. So I sent out a few mails to notable Welsh Actors and prominent actors in Welsh made shows... and waited. Yesterday morning, my phone rang. It had that echo on it as you get with very long distance calls. There was an awfully well spoken chap on the end of the line, asking for me! Voice was very familiar but couldn't quite place it for the life of me. And then he introduced himself as John Rhys Davies. You know, from Indiana Jones and Lord of the Rings! Calling me! I was a bit stunned. I hope I was coherent for him. Anyway, looks like, work permitting, he may well be along to give out the awards.
Then ten min later, Eve Myles agent e-mailed to say Eve is interested too.
Of course, the British Final is scheduled to clash directly with the series finale of Doctor Who.... see how hard my life is?

Monday, 7 April 2008

Partners in Crime

Ok, so the Doctor is back ... and then some. I shan't rabbit on about the plot. Because you either are a fan and saw it, or not a fan and don't give a shit. So lets just chat theories and shit, yeah?
Okies ... so the bees have all gone missing? Its a total throw away comment but I reckon that's coming back to sting us.
And the Adipose 'lost' their breeding planet. Again, almost thrown away as a comment ... but if we are building to something mahoosive ... you can bet other planets are going to be lost along the way
Who/what is/are the Shadow Proclamation? Some big council that oversees intergalactic law? Keep your eye on them too
And the biggie ..... Rose. Ok, so my theory .... that is the Rose we know, trying to come back to warn us about something. Then, she comes back in ep 11 'Left Turn' I reckon that wont be our Rose! Then our Rose will come back for 12 & 13 .... just you wait and see!
Ok, now for pictures .... and since I can never make this fucking work without stupid gaps, you are just going to have to scroll a lot.
How amusing was this!!

Rumours that obsessed onlookers had been making small models of the British Gas call centre out of mashed potato are unfounded.

And did you see this .... he skipped! Bless!

Look! Evita! You saw this and thought of me, didn't you?

And as soon as I saw the first picture, the back of the head .. I knew what was coming. What a great secret and so well kept - good an ya Upper Boat kids. You rock and I want hard bodily sex with each and every one of you. But particularly Ed Thomas, because he is fucking hot.


Just a Few Pics from the last 7 Days

Friday, 4 April 2008

Can You Tell What It Is Yet?

Only Got Four Minutes to Save the World

Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Doctor in the House

Today's Radio Times, in any one of its four collectible covers, has a season preview of Doctor Who. The spoilers and quotes are all over the net, so i shan't bore you with them all, aside from my own personal run down of the series to come.
1. Partners In Crime - the return of Donna! And some weebles. or something. I think this has a woman with a sonic screwdriver of her own
2. Fires Of Pompeii - written by James Moran, who rocks. Volcano!
3. Planet Of The Ood - Bit confused as set on the Ood planet of Ice and set (from the Oods perspective) before Satan Pit. So why do their eyes glow red in the trailers? Because they surely don't get possessed until they go to the Impossible Planet? Non?
4. The Sontaran Stratagem (1 of 2) 'Light hearted romp' they say. 'Better fucking not be' I say
5. The Poison Sky (2 of 2) See .. poison gas ... keep your eye on that, I reckon its a theme/arc/developing plotline
6. The Doctor's Daughter - allegedly does what it says on the tin. Which people are taking as the offspring of our favoured timeline. I say different. I think The Doctor does a season as a panto dame and this episode is all a bit carry on. ooh daughter!
7. The Unicorn and The Wasp - Agatha Christie. Which I just sang in my head as I typed it to Eleanor Rigby. And now so have you, haven't you.
8. Silence In The Library (1 of 2) Bit spooky. Steven Moffats story. Think the big slide to teh finale will start here somewhere .. just my opinion. And remember kids, you should always be silent in a library or the librarian turns into a ghost and chases you back to your university.
9. River's Run (2 of 2) In a library? Must have gone right up market and had a water feature installed
10. Midnight. Have read lots about this but cant remember any of it.
11. Turn Left. Doctor Free ep. Was mooted as being called Doctor Who? Now wondering if that the title of....
12. (TBA)(1 of 2)... since RTD has stated it gives too much away.
13. Journey's End (2 of 2) Ah. Daleks! Every companion ever! (ok, i exaggerate .. but not far off) Rain! And no doubt a what cubed from La Tennant to lead us into the xmas spesh.
So there you go. Come back in July and see how much was right!