My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Monday, 30 July 2007

Further Tales of the Weekend.

OK, first off let me say one thing. Transformers. FUCKING BRILLIANT!
Phew, glad that's off my chest.

Then I heard this story today. Sometime last week, the Swansea Post Office depot on the Enterprise Park was subject to a bomb threat. Absolutely nothing was done about this bomb threat. The reason? The letter detailing the bomb threat arrived the day after it was supposed to have gone off. Yep, lost in the post!!!
As it happens, this is something similar to the Tesco Stores bomb hoaxes, where a number of other Tesco stores received their threats after the day they were supposed to happen.
And the cheeky gits keep striking for more money. You couldn't make it up.

Well, there is a little part of the story from Thursday I forgot to mention. Part of the journey from Waterloo back to Hampton Court.
Picture it. Its a reasonably crowded train as its the last none along the line from the city that night, so has anyone who has been out/working late/having a sordid affair with a lesbian Chihuahua on it. So who sits opposite me? Is it:

A) An extremely hot guy who runs his toes up my leg while winking at me and grabbing his own man muscle
B) Sharon Stone in full basic instinct garb, crossing he legs and licking her lips at me .. yes, those lips...
C) A semi cute guy bear, who on further inspection appears to have a freak Jeremy Beadle small hand going on.

Of course it was C. Now, you know what i am like for getting a nervous laugh around the afflicted. Its not me being mean on purpose, I just get the giggles. So I immerse myself in my mobile to keep me from looking .. but of course, its calling me like some twisted Harpie, so I do keep glancing. Then he starts wincing a lot and tucking it under his armpit. Yeah, that helps. And then i after texting a few people for emotional support, what do I get back from mark? Circus music. This of course, has me in fits of giggles. Luckily, I can just keep looking at my phone as if I have received a totally unrelated text....

OK, and now its time for the gallery. Thank you for sending in your pictures, but please remember that we cant return them.

This was sent in by Toby, aged 8. Apparently The Hoff has saved many a person in England and Wales during these floods.

This is the beach party bar in the O2 Arena. Quite funky.

My view of the stage at the Scissor Sisters last week. The small white glow at the bottom of the left scissor handle is Babydaddy.... ah, I love him so.

Now here we have an entry by Jamie, aged 5. As you can see, he has taken a few old pictures of me and adapted them into a Sims version of a character I created for our old Star Trek role plays. I don't think he looks that like me, but he looks .. um ... pretty hot actually .... oh shit. Is it wrong that I have the horn for a cg version of me???? Back in therapy we go....

And why does the spacing totally fuck up when I add mutliple pictures? Flaps.


Saturday, 28 July 2007

I Did Feel LIke Dancing

.. but sadly the people behind me got a bit stroppy, at the O2 Arena on Thursday. So I sat down in the quieter songs as a kind of meeting them halfway measure.
But to tell the full tale....

We departed from home in the piss pouring rain and went down to Cardiff so I could get two new tyres on the front of the Protonator. As she is front wheel drive, and the tyres were barely legal,it was the best option considering the drive ahead. And sweet lord of all that is holy, the rain coming down on us the other side of Bristol would probably have killed us in the old tyres. It was raining so ard, and the surface spray was so bad, that we actually had spray coming up high enough to be visible from my windows .. like driving through a deep puddle ... but this was just from the road itself. I could barely see beyond the nose of the car due to volumes of water ... didn't dare drive above 35mph and STILL people were doing 80 in the fast lane. Had they needed to apply their brakes, they would just have hydroplaned and killed people. End of. Thank the Goddess, we made it safely. And thank goodness I had changed those tyres.
I got a bit lost en route to leaving the car at Toby's .. thanks multimap! Then we got into London Bridge just in time to meet Rich for an hour or so before going to the O2
And we are LOVING the O2!
What used to be the millennium dome, it now houses a nice bar and restauranty concourse, a cinema and a stadium venue about the same size and dimensions of the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. We were sat in the front row of the upper tiers ... with a very long drop and just a knee high glass barrier before us ... little bit scary...
The Scissor Sisters, were of course absolutely fucking brilliant! Babydaddy is as hot as ever. The stage was made up of the Scissor logo and glowed... They had laser images of scissors performing a 'scissor sister' move at one point (if you know what the name means, you'll know what that looks like) which made me chuckle. There were a surprising amount of kids there. Wouldn't have thought it was the most apt gig to bring them to ... shouldn't they be at Bratz or High School Musical or something?
Anyhoo, the whole thing was recorded to be released on dvd at some point ... so look out for me!

Friday, was leaving Toby's, picking Steve up from Osterley and then the drive back down the M4 ... in much more pleasant conditions that the journey there.
In the evening, we went along to see The Simpson's movie. If, like me, you feel that The Simpson's has lost it in recent years, do go back to them with this ,movie to see all of the stuff you used to lke ... a great blend of in your face with subtle humour, blatant mickey taking of your common or garden American straight man ... you get the idea. The plot largely follows Homer trying to get back in his families good books after being the cause of Springfield being cut off from the world by being put under a giant glass dome ... all with hilarious consequences, and just a little bit of heart. Do stick with the credits if you want a few extra minor laughs...

And today .. well, we had a troll around Cardiff Bay. I went in the Doctor Who up close exhibition as it had been a while ... and quite a lot has changed - I have some video footage to sort out (actually have some from the gig too if I get my arse in gear...). And that's about it ... just watched Evan Almighty (ok) and The Queen (got bored, went for a poo to read and then started this blog)
So what you been doing?

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Wednesday, 25 July 2007

Its A Hard Rains Gonna Fall

Fuck me it just wont stop pissing down. One day of sunshine yesterday in about a month, floods all over the news - even though, the River Taff that flows below my office window is actually not very high considering. There is a small overflow area right by our car park, which back in January was full and the river was about five feet from bursting it. Its not even started to fill it yet, so I am guessing here in Wales we haven't had those kinds of quantities yet.
I am off to see Scissor Sisters again tomorrow. V excited. Its at the O2 arena (what used to be the Millennium Dome) in London, so it wont be as intimate a venue as when I saw them at the CIA last year ... I will need my binoculars to get a good letch at Babydaddy. Still, would rather be there than not. Bit stuck on what to wear. Think platforms may be in order. I can case out the venue from when Rach & I go there for Prince in about 10 days time too.
Prince. This is the seventh attempt to actually go and see him in concert. The previous six, something has always intervened and I ended up giving the tickets to friends on the day instead. Praying it doest happen this time. Note to self ... iron a purple shirt for the day ... I have about 12 of them ...
Dan is at home this week. I am hoping he thinks to finish decorating the bedroom. I did 95% way back when but I am a bit shit at colouring in - I always go over the lines and the same applies to painting walls n shit. If i am painting a wall, a bit of ceiling and any walls either side of it will get paint too. So I just go near the edges and Dan does the corners and stuff. I refused to move on to another room until the two we did so far are complete. So its on his shoulders now. That said, he did a magnificent job of sorting out our dining room area yesterday. It was a very pleasant surprise to see we can now actually eat at our dining table! We wont, but just knowing we can is quite exciting.
He also finally got around to chasing his house yesterday. Well, not literally you understand ... he didn't run down the street pursuing a two bedroom terrace monty python fashion.... but he did get as far as investigating what we can do about trying to sell it, given its previous sale was halted by the council as they had renovated it as part of a project and he wasn't allowed to sell it until at least 2010, or be liable for £18k. Which would be fine if they had finished the work. But they didn't. They did the windows, doors, roof and exterior walls. But to do so, they trashed the kitchen ceiling and didn't put it back up, took the fireplace apart and left it all over the living room floor, ruined the carpets in every room in the house and didn't even bother putting them back down, let alone replacing them. So as far as I was concerned, Dan was liable for nothing as the contract clearly states he is only due to pay them back if he sells upon completion of the work .... and i do not call that state anything like complete. So for months I have been asking Dan to take the photos I took of the train wreck of our former home, down to a solicitors and get legal advice on it .... since they left the house in no fit state to rent out and stood in the way of him selling it.
So yesterday, he got around to it .... but found that the house had been repossessed in March as he had stopped paying the mortgage last summer when it was about to sell..... at least its out of our hair and if the council try and pursue him for the money ... well, lets just say I am ready and more than willing to counter attack for a large sum of compensation.
This weekend, we have Toby and Steve (an old mate of mine I haven't seen in years) coming down to play. And of course that play will include a trip to see Transformers. V excited.
Also, of late, I have become part of the 'Kimmunity'. The online Kim Possible fandom. I really thought I was the only person who knew about the show over the age of about 7! So wrong! And they are all really lovely people too. Actually, mostly nicer than a lot of the sci fi fans I have been involved with over the years, who tend to resemble comic book guy from The Simpsons in appearance and attitude. I am sure a lot of you know the type I mean. But these KP fans ... they are a scream! Love them all!
Speaking of The Simpsons ... the movie finally hits us this week too. It should be better than recent seasons as its the old team back together. Well lets fucking hope so eh?

And the best news ever ..... Michael Mouse Tolliver is back in my life. For the un initiated, (shame on you) Michael is a character from Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City books. Michael was key to me coming to terms with my own sexuality. As a young man, I wanted to be Mouse when I grew up. Nearly everyone wanted a Mouse as their Christmas tree man. One ex of mine even said he found his Mouse and he was foolish to let me get away... so now, years later, he has his own book - Michael Tolliver Lives. And the really odd thing ... I did it. I grew into him and became the man I set out to be. And I didn't spot it happening, but just realised last night while reading what he did next. I cant tell you how happy that makes me.

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Invasion of the Fingermonkeys

Monday, 23 July 2007

Neither Can Live....

So says the prophecy regarding the fall/victory of the Dark Lord Voldemort.
Ok, in about two paragraphs time, I will be talking about actual events from Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows .. so look away now if you don't wish to know.
I duly arrived at Borders in Llantrissant at about 10.45, to join the people picking up their copy. There was a magician, there had been creepy crawlies to handle (hence, I didn't arrive until well into the evening). What there wasnt was a copy of the Marvel Civil War graphic novel I had promised myself. Gutted. Around 10.55, we decided to join the already forming queue. It was an odd set up ... the queue started at the back of the store and snaked around the aisles. You then had to collect your book by the lift, and go to the front to pay for it. It worked quite well. I was stunned just how many people were in the queue .... it had to be getting on for about 500. And yet Tesco, next door, had a pallet of books by the door, no queue, 2 quid cheaper. I made Dan go in and do the shopping while I sat in the car to read. Well honestly ... what the fuck was he thinking? Telling em we need to do a food shop on the way home .... of all the days......
I completed the book at 7.30pm on Saturday.
JK Rowling had said there were 2 deaths to look out for .... 22 more like! Sweet Jesus ..... I did cry when Hedwig got hit by a killing curse. Then again when Dobby got stabbed. To see a full list of dead peeps, head over and read what Nabu San has to say ... he does it better than I could. And he gives you pictures too, if you have only ever seen the films.
I loved the fact that a lot of the keys to the final plot, have all been present since Philosophers Stone. I also like that Harry does indeed die, giving his own life to ensure that Voldemort can be defeated and his friends can be free. Bit of a cop out that he gets to come back though. Would have been a much braver ending.
I loved this book, but its such a nice ending, that I felt no sadness that its over. It feels complete and that is a good thing. Of course, there are a mountain of franchise books that could be written ... Hogwarts: A History for a start ... then how about a companion novel, from Neville and Luna's point of view, of what would have been year 7 at Hogwarts .... with Snape as headmaster. Stories from the original Order of the Phoenix ... the list goes on.
But for me, I am happy to walk away now, with one complete story.
Roll on the film!

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Friday, 20 July 2007

The Final Countdown (no spoilers)

well ..sort of ... that online scanned copy fell my way on wednesday, so I am already on chapter 8.
I have already cried once.
Been shocked twice.
Actually had to take a break to calm my breathing once.
Bored with the current page and fond myself scanning to get past it twice.
And had more 'oh my god .... of course!' moments than I can care to mention ... and most of those were in chapter 7 (or 6, I forget exactly ... you'll see when you reach it)

Still actually very excited about getting a proper book at midnight tonight though. Its the whole experience of being there with all the other fans. Seeing mums and dads trying to look cool in front of the kids, when you know damn well they will be reading it the second the ickles are tucked away in their beds.
A few people have scorned and spurned me for pre reading ..... but the way I see it, I will still be part of the experience, still shell out for a book, so its just a try before you buy really. And come on .... you know me ..... since when did I ever wait for anything?

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Word is Out

So I am hearing from a mate on a Kim Possible forum I visit that you can download what claims to be (and from the pic I saw, looks very authentic) a page by page scan of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows from torrents.
Am now terrified to go near the internet, tv or radio for fear of hearing something I don't want to regarding plots, deaths, wizards or dark lords.
As a faithful fan and follower of JK Rowlings work, I feel its my duty to wait until Friday night .. well one minute into Saturday morning to be fair.
But then again .... I could get this online, read it and live free in the knowledge that I cant be spoiled, I will be getting the book Friday regardless, can then start reading it to Dan immediately .. or after a quick scan to check the download is the real deal, carry on from however far I get ... oh look ... I am so emotionally stressed my sentences are more random than usual.
That's it, I am going to hide under a rock until Friday.

Monday, 16 July 2007

My Own Private Hell

I Like Driving in my Car

I got the quote back today on fixing the clutch on The Protonator.
It broke a while back. It worked but I had full 360 degree movement on the pedal ... a very very nice AA man came and put a jubilee clip on it but said that the problem was in the back half of the clutch and would need to go up on a ramp to be fixed ASAP.
That was about two months ago.
Today, I finally got to a point where I can afford to get it looked at, so called up my dear mate Heather and got her to check it out for me.
£530 ish ... and that is with her giving me a bit of a discount for being a mate
- we interrupt this entry to mention the horrendous fucking storm that just erupted from the skies here. Thunder, lightning and hail stones .. yes . .fucking hail stones .. so thick that we could only see about 10 feet from the building before it was obscured in a mist of hail and rain -

So anyways .... That means the cars repairs, aside from general running, tyres and stuff would be almost 2k this year alone ... and that's if nothing else goes wrong after this point. So I have to face the fact that I cant afford this car. I love her dearly. Just looking at prices on other cars today has depressed me no end as I realise that I am not going to be able to get anything as sleek, sexy or as powerful.
I shall cry.

So long, farewell......

Dear Friends
Another spur of the moment decision I have made.
I have decided it is time for me to change direction with my life and become a Red Cross volunteer. In mid July, I will head off on a training course and will be stationed just off the coast of Iraq.
Britain needs my help and I'm here to give it.
Below is a picture of the rest of my group.
I know it's a bit unexpected but I'll keep in touch.....

Friday, 13 July 2007

Harry Potter & the Amy Winehouse Gig

Last night was HP & the Order of the Phoenix. Actually, so will tonight be ... but that's the opening weekend system for you.

I have to say I LOVED this. Its a thrilling, well adapted version of what is by far an over inflated book. However, the one thing I would say is don't expect the book. You wont get a lot of what you think you maybe should. Ok, concentrate or look away, here comes the spoiler part ...

The opening sequence is fantastic. We are thrown straight into Harry facing off against Dudleys gang and the Dementor attack. Mrs Figg is great, but in a very different way than I imagined. In my head she was something like Mrs Cropley from the Vicar of Dibley .. but David Yates has given her battiness a different direction. We then hop skip and jump a few things to get us back to Hogwarts. Many roles are greatly reduced in this film ... in fact anyone's aside from Harry's really. Even Ron & Hermione feel like minor guest stars. The Woes of Mrs Weasley - gone ... also the big house cleaning session with a certain locket that fans are speculating will be of great importance has been cut. Kreacher is present, but if I call him the Face of Kreacher, Doctor Who fans will understand when they see him. Hagrid being sacked - gone, and with it Minerva being knocked out by Dolores and her cronies. Dumbldores big three page explanation - reduced to a few lines. Marietta - cut and its Cho Chang who gives away the DA's secrets to the Inquisitorial Squad. She is redeemed later though.

But as I say, the book has always seemed like it needed a good edit to me, and the film does not suffer for these changes. There is a certain amount of humour, particularly form the excellent David Bradley as Argus Filch (even though, I don't recall the poor bugger having any lines at all) as he hangs the Educational Decrees and hunts down the DA. Dolores Umbridge is delightfully sweet to the point of wanting a good slap ... and fans of the Weasley Twins will simply love their triumphant exit. The greatest point for me though, is Bonnie Wright as Ginny. If you know what comes next, just watch her in the background every time Harry & Cho are in close proximity.

The grand finale is a spectates in itself... presumably as it will be in 3D at Imax .... even if the Veil in the Ministry of Magic (the atrium looks very like a Disneyland Hotel) really isn't given an explanation. The arrival of the Order of the Phoenix in the same scene will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

In short, this diverges the world of the films and the books about two pacecs more, but truly is all the better for it.

And the post title? The battle at the ministry .... keep your eye on Bellatrix Lestrange and just hear it in your head .... they tried to make me go to rehab.....

Then getting home and taking out the bins, I found we had a lodger.....


Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Ordering the House of Queenie

I finally got around to sticking some labels on my posts today.
You can now sort the posts by Tales from the weekend, Tales from Disney, Tales from the TARDIS, Tales from the Past and Reviews.
This has shown me that I talk about Doctor Who far more than I do anything else, on a regular basis.
Some of the very early posts may be relevant but unlabelled .... but I got bored of doing it.
From here on, anything falling into those categories, will be all nicely labelled so you can correctly reference topics!

Tuesday, 10 July 2007

Coke with Orange is Vile

With any luck the diet version is better.
That is all.


Monday, 9 July 2007

Ooh I Am Pleased!

Its going to one of those tales from the weekend posts again folks...
Friday was a work bash out in town. We started at Oceana, where we sat outside as it was going to be easier than having half the group constantly outside for a fag and half inside. There was a decent sized group of us and Emma who used to work here came along too so we had a good old natter which eventually turned into a sing song. As we were sat right by the entrance to the New Theatre, when Beauty & the Beast chucked out, I couldn't resist a quick burst of Be Our Guest. Tree and Emma were up for this too, so a bit of a medley ensued. Plus, there was a very cute guy who kept coming and hovering by our group and eyeing me up. Me being me, spotted this instantly .... and it was game on. Eventually, it was getting so blatant that he kept coming out on his own to sit in my eye line (which had he been a smoker could have been convenience or coincidence ... but he wasn't, so why the hell come outside and just sit on your own to drink?), that my mates noticed and were asking me if I had noticed that I'd pulled! After one such visit out, I followed him back in .... to find he had been grabbed by a couple of mates where were clearly very straight and he looked me in the eye, in a dead panic and very slightly shook his head, which I took as a 'not now, these guys don't know' motion, and just smiled and waked off. He then left with his mates. Just thought, I hadnt told Dan this story yet ... oh well, he'll see it now....
From there, we were to head to Soda bar. Aside from Chloe, nobody knew what or where it was! The girls wanted to get a taxi there (despite it being less than 5 mins away on foot) and had difficulties getting cabs that would accept such a pointless fare .. especially as the main High Street/St Marys Street (home of 'Henricks' in Doctor Who) is closed to all vehicles on Friday and Saturday nights. So the girls got cabs and the boys walked. Yes, I was one of the boys for this occasion.
Soda Bar, is underground. Its a row of converted cellars. It smells damp, the floor is just an old cellar floor, the music is random and its a fiver to get in if you aren't on the guest list, but if you aren't on the list, they do try and put you off coming in. I wish they had succeeded. We began by playing Mallets Mallet (word association for the Wacaday Uninitiated) for a while, Chloe was in the loo for most of the time from the moment we arrived. I waited by the girl's loo door for half an hour to say goodbye to her before giving up and just leaving. apparently, she still didn't surface when Emma & Tree tried either ...and we think she isn't speaking to us now as we have all sent messages since and not had responses. It started to get crowded about 1.00am. We decided to hit the dance floor for a while. I will never forget the look on Tom's face when he was dancing with Dave. I would guess its much the same if you ever find yourself face to face with a hungry Tiger in the jungle. Except with the Tiger there would be a ray of hope, somewhere in your eyes.
There was a group of guys dancing around us, who were getting quite physically intimate with each other, but weren't out and out poofs. Then one of them just grabbed my hand and pulled himself to me for what can really only be described as a cuddle and slow dance. I was a bit confused, as his mate/bf/brother/freak-gimp was giving me dirty looks. i asked my new best friend if he was ok, he mumbled, half vomited then went back to butting his head against the padded wall post. Boy can I pick 'em.
At 1.30am, I set off for home after actually what had been a cracking night out. I need to do these things more often, especially as I had only spent just under a tenner all night - and that is with buying my own drinks! I didn't fleece them off mates!

Saturday was a trip to the touring version of Acorn Antiques The Musical! Having seen this twice in the West End (once with Julie Walters playing Mrs O, once with Victoria Wood) and owning the DVD of said west end show, I was unsure how well i was going to take to a touring cast, who were not the original tv cast. How glad I am to be wrong.
The show has been totally re written, and the original first act involving a directors bleak socio political version of Acorn Antiques has been ditched. The then all familiar version with lots fo lovely singing and dancing has been expanded to a full show. I wont say a lot about the content, as if its coming near you, make sure you go and see it, and I wouldn't want to spoil it. I laughed solidly from the opening front of house announcements (complete with Wood's voice saying Wales Minnellium Centre - spelling intentional), via a host of suitably crap radio ads for the shops in Manchesterford (which probably I saw in a very different humour to anyone else there given my job). The cast do a brilliant job. We were only about six rows back (we had booked front row but due to the size of the orchestra, they had to remove our original row) and had a very good view. Ria Jones who is playing Mrs O is comedy gold. It the Mrs O you know and love, but just a little different...... and for her curtain call, she appeared in a special apron made of a Welsh Flag .. o be joined by Victoria Wood in a Welsh flag tee shirt! Naturally, I leaped to my feet cheering at this point.
We then had a quick chat in a coffee house in the bay before heading home.
Sunday ... I didn't even leave the house. Lots of ironing and watching Cybill .....
So how are you?

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Friday, 6 July 2007

Pink Flamingo's

So after reading about cock climbing over at Pete's place, I was wondering how they are measuring first come first served (well, doesn't it stand to reason the first to come is first served?. Unless of course, we are talking about a top and bottom sitch, where possibly the top could come first ... but then by definition hasn't the bottom been served, even if they haven't come? Its a dilemma alright).
Which also lead me on to this little gem.
So Carlos and Fernando have been stealing eggs to try and raise a chick of their own. Good on them. Kudos too for the staff for putting the chick back in the egg so the parents could chat to it as part of the bonding process. I wonder why they don't just say dad and dad though? Perhaps they fear Carlos might enrol for a course in cock climbing.

Wednesday, 4 July 2007

Who dear? Me dear?

Catherine Tate is returning to the Tardis as the Doctor's full time companion for series 4.
This seems to be getting mixed reactions. I think its a good idea as she is a very accomplished actress. The general concern is that she was very much like her character of Lauren in The Runaway Bride. I think that was written that way because A) It was funny and B) was only for the special, which as I have said before, is a load of camp nonsense and perfect Christmas Day fayre. I am sure they will develop her properly now that she is in for the longer term.
This did lead me to imagine how they could deal with her characters though..... say, if they made Donna a sufferer of split personalities.......

Doctor: Its a TARDIS
Nan: A what?
Doctor: TARDIS. Time and relative dimensions in space
Nan: Oh. Not a carsy then?
Doctor: What? No.
Nan: Oh. Thought you was offering me a lavatory. I might be old but I don't need a commode thank you very much.
Doctor: No .. it just means its bigger on the inside.
Nan: I mean, its all very well but i can get to the toilet on my own thank you. Tardis? What a load of old shit!
Doctor: But, its a ship. My ship .. it travels in time and space.
Nan: You telling me you'd take me in there and whisk me off ... to fucking Mars at the time of the Blitz?
Doctor: If you wanted to, yes.
Nan: What a fucking liberty!

TARDIS Int. The Doctor sets the time rotor in motion. It descends
Margaret: AAAAAGH
Time rotor ascends
Margaret: AAAAGH
Time rotor descends
Margaret: AAAAGH
And so on.......

The Doctor: Why don't you come with me. Last of the Time Lords, I could use a companion.
Derek: Beg pardon?
The Doctor: Well, I just thought...
Derek: What are you insinuating? From one Lord to another?
The Doctor: Well, no ... but ... well, not that it matters, but aren't you gay?
Derek: who dear? Me dear? Gay dear? No dear?
The Doctor: Sorry. Like I say, it wouldn't matter, I mean you couldn't be any worse than Jack...
Derek: Well. 25 years mother and I have been following your adventures, and you accuse me of riding the meaty time rotor! I find you impertinent! Good day!

Doctor: Its a Sonic Screwdriver
Bernie: I like a good screw me. Has it got many settings Doctor?
Doctor: Well, its got a few.....
Bernie: Cuz like, we'd be a couple you an me. You bein a quack and me bein a nurse like. We could play Doctors and nurses. Hide the sonic screwdriver...
SFX: Tardis de-materialises.....

Mrs: So were were on New Earth
Doctor: New earth, bear in mind..
Mrs: And this Cat nun comes over... and she's got a bag of some virus
Doctor: Don't ask!
Mrs: And I says to her, is that safe? And she says..
Doctor: You wont believe this....
Mrs: Its a cure for .. what did she call it?
Doctor: Petrifold Regression
Mrs: A disease, that turns you into stone.
Doctor: a statue basically! And this is in New New York.
Mrs: The dirty, thieving, hairball, praying, stone cold bastards.


Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Travelling Light Years.....

Image taken from the BBC website for excitement mongering purposes.


Monday, 2 July 2007

Change Your Heart - it will astound you

OK. I have now seen Last of the Time Lords twice more (three if you count with Russell, Julie & Phil's hilarious commentary) and am quite loving it.
Still think the CGI Doctor thing is a bit pants ... but everyone knows that I am a total cockjugglingthundercunt about CGI. It has to be flawless and 100% look like its real for me to grudgingly allow it. To date, very little CGI has impressed me still, when mixed with a live action scene. Don't even start me on the footage at the foot of the London Eye in Rise of the Silver Surfer (the old back projected driving effects in Connerys bond films is better). I have now, however, taken hold of the Peter Pan ending (clap if you believe in Time Lords!) and embraced it like your ex wife, whom you have just hauled from a river and beat on the chest until she started coughing up slurry and began breathing again. Unless it was Hollywood, in which case no amount of CPR would work, but as soon as she is clinically declared dead, as long as you take out all your anguish on her and slap her about a bit, she will, after a few seconds grace, do the coughing up slurry and breathing thing. But I digress.
Still not impressed with the Titanic thing much actually .... wasn't there a better way to do that cliffhanger? If the money was being spent, how about the Doctor walking out of the Tardis, finding himself on deck with the Iceberg looming? Mind you, that's easy for me to say, I'm not writing the bloody thing.
And Martha. Dear, dear Martha. Off to Torchwood to play. She'll enjoy that. Then going back to play in the Tardis for half a series. Leaving them looking for a new companion....
What? well, I dunno .... my schedule is quiet busy actually ..... well, if they ask REALLY REALLY nicely, I may consider it
note to RTD, Julie Gardner, Phil Collinson or any other related party who may find this blog: I'd actually bite your hand off for the chance of an audition if you wave one at me .. and please do, I'm brilliant, me! Won awards and everything. Love you!