My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Wednesday, 28 February 2007

You Better Work!

Regular readers will know why this song is important to me.

Tuesday, 27 February 2007

Extras! Extras! Read All About It!

So, I have Peter Pan Special Edition on pre order. The extras list as follows:

Disc 1:
Audio commentary from animation historian John Canemaker
'Peter's Playful Prank' animated storybook
Disney song selection
Sneak peek of the new Disney movie 'Tinkerbell'
Disc 2:
'The Walt Disney Christmas Show': a 1951 featurette
'The Peter Pan Story': a 1952 featurette
'Tinkerbell: A Fairy's Tale' featurette
Reconstruction of an alternative opening for the Peter Pan movie
'Pirate Song': a song deleted from the film
'In Walt's Own Words: Why I Made Peter Pan' featurette
'You Can Fly: The Making Of Peter Pan' featurette
'Neverland' lyrics with music from Richard Sherman
Smee's Sudoku Challenge: interactive game
T-"argh"-et Practice: an interactive game with three different levels of difficulty
Tink's Fantasy Flight: an interactive game

However, if you buy the 2 pack set with return to Neverland, the extras for Peter Pan list as:
Peter Pan - Special Edition Disc 1: Audio Commentary w/ John Canemaker
Peter's Playful Prank: Story Book
Disney Song Selection
Sneak Peek Of All New Movie Tinker Bell (Featurette)
Peter Pan - Special Edition Disc 2:
Virtual Flight with Peter
Music Video: "The Second Star to the Right" performed by T-Squad
Music Video: "Never Land" performed by Paige O'Hara
Deleted Song - The Pirate Song
Camp Neverland Smee's Sudoku
Camp Neverland Tarrrget Practice
Camp Neverland Fantasy Flight
Camp Neverland Game Intro and Win
Easter Egg - Additional Soduku Puzzles
English Learning Read-Along: Peter Pan
The Peter Pan Story (1952 featurette)
You Can Fly: The Making Of Peter Pan
Tinker Bell: A Fairy's Tale
In Walt's Words: "Why I Made Peter Pan..."
The Peter Pan That Almost Was
Still Frame Galleries

Aside from the fact that Camp Neverland just sounds too good to be true (really, think about it), there do seem to be two sets of extras. Now, its possible that the original list was before it was all finalised and the two pack is a definitive list, which will in fact be the same as the ordinary pack. And then of course, there is the version that comes with a story book.

Why the problem? Just buy the one with better extras you say? Well, I would but .... I already have Return to Neverland exactly as it appears in the two pack set .. so if the extras on Peter Pan are the same, regardless of which set you get, I'd be forking out an extra £8 (around $12) for nothing. And yes, i could just wait until it hits the shelves and check it out - but with a pre order on play, it usually arrives the Saturday before its due to hit the shops on the Monday .... oh ..... bah!

Monday, 26 February 2007

What? Who? Where?

Not sure I know who I am today.
Sat up all night watching the Oscars live and now getting that jet lag feeling. Think I need to do them from Australia next year, as that way, they start at about 2.00 in the afternoon and go on til about tea time. Wouldn't interrupt the day so much that way.

Oh .. or America .... given that's where they are held. Should have thought of that first really.

See, I am that tired.

Loved Ellen hosting.
Loved the Devil Wears Prada skit between Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt .. especially when Meryl gave them that look for not getting the cappuccino .... genius. Emily looked amazing in the sparkly frock. Anne ... needs to re-think her wardrobe a bit, bless her.

And YAY for Dame Helen!

Oh god, feel like death warmed up and still have 4.5 hours at work before I can go home. This should be interesting.

For Young Mr Charnas...

Saturday, 24 February 2007

In the Hands of the Goddess

So I have just done my online application for Big Brother ... but after submitting it, I got an internet explorer error saying page could not be displayed. I clicked back to try again and it had wiped all my answers.

So, as an act of faith, a que sera sera, and that if it is meant to be then it shall be, I have not done another. I could ... but I wont. It feels right to trust the universe on this one.

So keep an eye on launch night .. I either will or will not be going in!

Friday, 23 February 2007

Thursday, 22 February 2007

Make Me A Sheila!

Ok, so this is absolutely my favourite tv ad ever. I will always sing and dance along whenever it comes on tv. Its so kitsch it hurts. I want to be a Sheila.

Imagine my surprise when this:


was trailered during Ugly Betty last night.

Can you say excited?

Just quickly

...as you prolly know, i work at a radio station. We are doing out golden hour and playing Tears For Fears - Pale Shelter. Damn I had forgotten how good this song is. Just thought I'd share.

Tuesday, 20 February 2007

Personal Songs To Me

This first rings true a lot...... plus kudos to anyone who can sing about fixing toasters and burning souffles with a straight face

This is actually one of my theme songs. I dont have just the one, I have a whole album. This would be track one though

And this ...... well, watch it and see what you take from it.

Google maps....

Disney's Magic Kingdom! As seen from space......... the happiest place on Earth ...... especially if I am there and not sat here in Wales. Not that I dislike my home, I love it here .... but you know ..... the grass is always greener. Except it isn't really come to think of it. Its much greener here ... as you will see shortly.......

This is Seuss Landing at Universal. Yes, its as freaky to look at from the ground too. And seems to have all the cute staff......

You can see my house on here! No, I am not telling you which one...........

The Hulk rollercoaster, Universal Islands of Adventure...... Josh filmed me on this .. well, to be fair, he filmed every time it went by from when I left him to when we got back to him .... so he filmed lots of people on this and one of them is definitely me.

Above is the Duelling Dragons coaster. As in roller, not something you place a mug on to stop unsightly coffee rings appearing on the furniture. And by mug, I mean cup, not face. Even though it has to be said, I can sometimes leave my face on things and leave unsightly stains as I tend to sleep with my mouth open and dribble.

Below is the view of our apartment suite in Orlando ..... we were in the yellow circle, on the second floor (first floor to us brits)

Monday, 19 February 2007

You Tube Tag

Its a great new game kids! I play this at work with Theresa ..... you are on a set mission ... and have to find a video that tops the one you get sent.
Todays topic was round 2 of cheesey music videos. these have to be originals or performances by original artist .... not some fucking tard miming to their own home made versions.

So after a bout that included, Captain & Tenille, some random bloke I had never heard of, Sparks and many more ...... Tree hit me this blinder

Luckily, I had this up my sleeve as a come back

Set your watch and warrant on it....

This morning I arrived at work to find several e-mails in my inbox regarding this:


I read all seven Dark Tower Books in one year. It just happened that I started reading The Gunslinger on January 1st 2004 .... as Dark Tower 7: The Dark Tower was released that Autumn. I got lucky, some people had to read the story over more than 30 years, with a ten year wait between books 3 & 4 on a fucker of a cliffhanger.

Never heard of the Dark Tower books? Potted guide for you:

Crap. Its not easy to explain.

Um .....
Well, its the story of Roland, the last gunslinger and his quest for the Dark Tower. He picks up a gang of followers (his Ka Tet, in his language) and off they go. Through the series, he pops over into our world, meets Stephen King (trust me, that's weird), tells the story of his passage into manhood, chases down The Crimson King - who pops up all over Kings work and kind of gets a bit Arthurian on our asses.
Ok, so I am nowhere near doing it justice, but we are talking about 7 books here ...... and the last four are fucking HUGE .....

But King did say that volume 7 was the end .... and it was .... and a beginning .... and now we have another chapter in Roland's life. And they are in talks to get it filmed as a series of movies or tv mini series............... its all too exciting for words.

Friday, 16 February 2007

You Will Feel Like Dancing...

Now, its no secret I am a massive Scissor Sisters fan. In fact, Dan has bough us tickets to see them in the summer as my birthday present. Yes, I know my birthday isnt until June, but the gig isnt until July so it will all be fully wonderful... and we couldnt risk it selling out.

Sadly, I didnt see this on tv as was out watching Hot Fuzz. Which I also loved.

Thursday, 15 February 2007

Its one of those days

I went to see a client this morning and it was such a shit miserable place to be, I swear they sucked out my soul. hateful place. None of the people were at all pleasant to deal with and the entire office was silent. Like a library. and this is a recruitment agency ..... If I went in there I'd tell them I can find my own job and walk out.

So bless this little scenario that popped up and amused me.........

Our MD's PA sent this round....

From: Ceri
Sent: 15 February 2007 12:20
To: The South Wales Sales Team
Subject: Purchase order

I have a PO from The Environment Agency. Any takers?

From: Paul Robinson
Sent: 15 February 2007 12:21
To: Ceri
Subject: RE: Purchase order

is it on recycled paper?

From: Ceri
Sent: 15 February 2007 12:23
To: Paul Robinson
Subject: RE: Purchase order


From: Paul Robinson
Sent: 15 February 2007 12:25
To: Ceri
Subject: RE: Purchase order

well........... they cant be much blooming use, can they!

Well, I chuckled.

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

Songs for my Valentine...

Points if you can leave in the comments where the title of todays post comes from....

Yes, its that day of teh year where the news is all bout:
1. How much we spend on valentines
2. How sad a fuckwit you must be if you dont get anything.

Which is all a load of bollocks. I buy stuff for Dan all year round. We treat each other whenever we can. Its just how we are. Hence for valentines day, I got him three things:
1. Some clothes pegs. Its a League of Gentlemen joke. Want to buy some pegs dave?

2. A Battlestar Galactica Viper mark VII (or is it VIII?)
3. Scar the Cylon Raider.

See, no tat, just a joke and things he wants.

And this, is my song for him for today.

In the morning I'll wake up with you
There's not anything I would rather do

You are more than you'll ever know
And your love teaches me to grow
You are more than my everything
And your love gives me wings

Like a butterfly
And I'll dance in the sunlight
Like a butterfly
From the day into the night

Your touch
Is the one thing I know is true
My mind
Is completely devoted to you

And it mightn't last more than a day
But I'll take my chances anyway
'cause my heart is saying it's for real
No-one else has made me feel this way

My New Hero.....

Bobby McVay. Our new presenter here at Real. See him here from when he ot through to the finals at Eurovision in 1983

And another thing. tea towels. Have you ever dried tea with one?

Tuesday, 13 February 2007

Our survey said.......

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt.
And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting.
Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt.
And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Florida memories....

Us after Dudley Do Rights Ripsaw

Witness my rebirth from the giant coke vagina of steam.

Rain. Lots of rain.


Monday, 12 February 2007


I had a huge point to make about two hours ago when I opened this window to write today. I then had to dash out and meet a client, who plied me with strong coffee and now I cannot remember for the life of me what I was going to write about.
Fuck and arse.

Loving this

Sunday, 11 February 2007

Sunday bloody Sunday

OK..... just so you know ... I got home safe.....

I left the office around half one and got home just after three.

Its a 12 minute drive.

The traffic was almost not moving along the A470 ... and I only have to go one junction from The Morganstown/Radyr/Tongwynlais roundabout to the Treforest/Caerphilly exit. Then up Nant Garw hill....... the actually had marshalls (not like marines... just council men in hi vis outfits) to help cars who got stuck. It was those two roads that took all the journey time. Once up to Caerphilly, the roads were clear and not even icy ... just slush so I could drive pretty normally from Trecenydd, Abertridwr and Senghenydd. It was odd how the main roads, packed with traffic were just like sheets of ice but the quiet roads were clear as anything .... i guess slow moving traffic allows the ice to form whereas flowing traffic means it gets pulped ... or something.

ooh .... just looked back at that passage ..... lot of Welsh words going on there .... so for my non local readers, here's a quick pronunciation 101....
Radyr - rhymes with Badder
Tongwynlais - Tong Win Lice
Garw - Ga roo,
Trecenydd - Tree Kenneth
Abertridwr - Abba Trid Er
Senghenydd - Sen Genneth ... make it rhyme with Kenneth....

Spent Friday in once I was home .... rehearsal was cancelled .... so got to stay in and catch up on Ugly Betty.......

Then Saturday was a lazy day too until about 5 when we nipped out for the evening to meet a new friend. A VERY cute guy called Jeremy who lives just over Caerphilly mountain from us. And that went well .... its always good to make new friends, especially hot gay ones.........

So here I am watching Charmed season 3 (I joined the show in series 6 so have now gone back and doing catch up) and have noticed that Julian McMahon seemed to have a hair issue back then. Seriously .... it was a mega obvious transplant thing going on for the earlier part of the season that seems to have grown in now...... Then again, its not like I'd say no if he offered.

Friday, 9 February 2007

Who's been filming in my office?

SO this is the view from the front of my building, to the one next door. They have been filming in there over night but it had been done up as a tv station called Harlick TV (may not be correct spelling as I didn't see the sign personally) and a tv show called The Fly ..... it was lots of large BBC vans, so its a good guess it was Doctor Who filming .. but no guarantees!

As you can see, we still have snow. Actually, its come down hard for about five hours since this pic was taken and I think I now wont get home without abandoning the car and walking up the hill in Abertridwr. Hoping I get told I can go home soon or I'll be here the night.

Thursday, 8 February 2007

Kodak Moments... sponsored by samsung

First up ... this was our Christmas Tree this year.
This is Kylie, sitting in a giant crescent moon.... think she was singing Come Into My World by this point but it may still have been Over the Rainbow....

This is the back of my signed Captain Jack Harkness figure. Stop drooling Bsabas......

Smeagol nuzzling me. I itched for fucking hours after this as I am actually allergic to him if he touches me.

Princess Mark Rainbow Organa.

This is a 3d etched crystal of Dan & I we had made in epcot. The scrawled pic behind it in the frame is me and Virginia Hey from Farscape. She had no queue when I met her and so we just chatted for ages and she drew hearts all over us ... .she is a sweetie.

Snow Time Like the Present

Hurrah! Snow! As I type, the road through the village is actually completely clear again but the slipway down the side of my house that my garage backs on to is now a sheet of ice .... so I have no hope of getting my car out without writing it off... and taking out a few walls in the process.

So I have done some work from home .... don't give me that look .... i have you know!

Also finally got around to connecting my mobile and my laptop so have pics to share. But given posts appear at the top of the blog, you probably figured that already.

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Ooh matron what a big one!

Largest banana I have ever seen. fact.
Its bigger than my fucking head!

Sent this to a few people and darling Mark came back with how thin I look .... given I saw him just 10 days ago its either a very good picture or this atkins bollocks is actually working.

And was trying to see if my Batman Returns story was posted here ...... thought it was but cant find it!!!!! No time to leave it now as we have a dept lunch and trip to see Rocky Balboa this afternoon ...... yeah, I know..... my job rules.

Tuesday, 6 February 2007

This is the droid I am looking for

I want .... no .... I NEED one of these.

Willing to sleep with anyone and everyone to raise the cash.....................

Then of course, there is this load of old tat, which I also want for very different reasons.


I think if I was dispening sticky tape from there I'd pull that face too.

Monday, 5 February 2007

Ouch sweetie mamma

So I woke up Friday morning with migraine warnings. Dull ache in the head, bad stomach, walking felt like wading upstream in a fast flowing river, that kind of thing. I came to work anyway and brought my medication with me. I took one at 9.00 and another at around 12.45 .... I spent most of the morning sat at my desk with shades on. But at 1.30, I had to give up the fight and went home. I sat in the living room for a while with a music channel on...... and went and crawled into a small ball in bed at about 3.00pm. And I was cold. Ice cold. Then sweating...until I moved and then ice cold again. I drifted in and out of consciousness until Dan came home about half six. He apparently laid with me for a while but I don't recall. I do remember him going out of the room and me trying to find a way to lay that didn't hurt, eventually settling for crouching on my knees with my forehead pressed into a pillow to ease the pressure a bit. I drifted off for a while, then realised I had not informed my director I wouldn't be at rehearsal, so reached for a clock to check the time, thinking it must be around 7.00/7.30 so not too late ...... it was 12.57. I had passed out from the pain (its usually the only way to get through a migraine. To be awake for one is too much. The pain gets to the point of nausea and then vomiting kicks in .. on top of the headache from hell). I soon drifted off again as I heard Dan coming up to bed...... and knew no more until midday Saturday. The pain stopped around 4.00pm. The dull ache is still there today.
What really gets me is these people who walk around clutching their head saying they have a migraine. WHAT? You can walk? I cant when I get mine..... once they kick in proper I can do one thing and one thing only. Pray for sleep. The pain is so intense, I actually have considered drilling a hole in my head to relieve it before now. Thank god I have no idea where our drill is. I have also torn bedsheets in anguish. I bit my own lip and made it bleed. I have torn my own flesh pulling at my scalp to make it stop. And other times, just laid still and wondered if dying hurts any less. Then prayed for death, called it to me, begged every dead relative I have to come and take me, but please let the pain end.
This must sound very dramatic.
Trust me when i say it isn't!

Up Close and Personal

Ok ..... biting a bit of a bullet here. As I have said before, this whole self cleansing catharsis thing I have going on is because Bsabas did some and I found it incredibly interesting to read and realised I have a lot of stories to tell.
Now, his latest is VERY personal and I initially thought I couldn't possibly go into such details. But I think I should. So let me say now and very clearly. Unless you want to read VERY intimate details and stuff about me that may well change you perceptions of me/induce vomiting. Look away. NOW

Go on ...... this ain't going to be no Mill & Boon....

..... Jackie Collins would blush at this shit, I am telling ya.

well... that was your last chance.

I have been a total and utter bitch whore since the age of about 24. I spent a large part of my twenties in saunas, cottages (public toilets used to pick up) and going off with total strangers just for sex. By sex, I mean I usually blew them. rarely do they get to see mine .... it just never appealed to me to get off in return.

You know all about the first time for me .. with a man .... but how about the one and only lucky girl that got a ride on the Paul Train? No names here (people who knew me back then know exactly who it was) but we were officially going out. It was about one month after my 18th birthday, we had been to a barbecue and were house sitting for friends of my family. We had had a few drinks and were sharing a bed, and within a few minuted body fluids. There was no foreplay to speak of. She grabbed my dick, I rolled on top and in it went..... it was ok to be honest. A fuck is a fuck as far as the physical feeling goes. Ass or vadge. The emotional attachment is far more important I find ... but I digress (so out of character for me I know). After about ten minutes hard banging (how crap that must have been for her, poor cow) I shot a load, rolled over and went to sleep. This was bareback. And yes, she fell pregnant. That was something I was not emotionally or mentally ready for. Nor was the decision to have my son aborted five months in. But it was a decision I had to make. There were going to be risks further down the pregnancy to both lives. I did what I had to. Now, the actual sex didn't freak me out at all. Her handjobs weren't great and I preferred Arons blowjobs too. Actually, it was just better when I got to give one straight back ... and that is what lead me to teh life I lead today. But was I freaked out by vaginal sex? No. By going down on her? No way! I enjoyed that best of all. It was just the smooth skin and breasts that I couldn't deal with. And lack of cock. That was the BIGGIE. You see, being gay comes down (for me at least) fundamentally to one thing and one thing only. Liking the taste of cock.

I regularly get involved in group sessions and threesomes. I get off hugely on seeing people having sex. Porn is good, live shows even better. Seeing Dan with another guy really gets my freak on. I think as much as anything because I get to see him getting off from angles that just aren't possible if I am involved. This may not make any sense to you. i don't care. This is my head you are looking into and this is just how it is! We do have another couple close to us we have had a session with. We split off into two rooms as I could tell that (made up names time) Rolf was really into getting it on with Dan & his fella Orville wanted to play with me privately. So we split into an upstairs downstairs scenario (not as in played housekeepers in 1920s style manor house...). As soon as we were upstairs, Orville asked me to go back down and get them...... thinking he just wanted a foursome, I complied .... to find Dan and Rolf already very busy .... which brought a smile to my face and a tent to my trousers as it had been, like, 40 seconds or something ...... so i went back up and explained they were already busy and lets leave them to it. Now, Orville was very drunk (you're seeing a green duck, aren't you? You are SICK!) and kept asking me to go get them, I refused .. well I did pretend a few times and hid on the stairs ...... and eventually we started to get somewhere. And that was when he dropped his pants. I swear, I had to squint to see it. Now, i am not fussed on size, within a given tolerance. There is too big and there is too small. And bless him, this was too small. I have small hands and I still couldn't actually get a grip on it. And then the real crunch came. He asked me to laugh at it. I panicked, I thought the look on my face had given my thoughts away ...I was mortified I had hurt this very sweet guy. I spent a good ten minutes justifying it and saying it didn't matter and we could still get a good evening ...... and he kept on about the laughing .... he wasn't accusing, he was asking .. no .. .DEMANDING. Turns out, he gets off on it being laughed at. He wanted me to insult him..... now this made me even more uncomfortable than the guilt I had previously had..... but from somewhere deep inside, I pulled on my best acting skills and found a character .... and I was a cunt to him. No two ways about it. And he loved it. Fucking loved it. He was reluctant to let me go and kept telling me how he cant believe I had never been a dom before and I was the best he has ever had. yeah .... freaked me out too.

I was once out in Blackpool with an ex of mine (you remember, the drunken asshole) and went clubbing. Now, I have never been one for sitting at a bar when there is a dancefloor to be had, so when he refused point blank to dance, i left him. And within about .... ooh ..... 3 minutes I had been pulled up onto a podium between 2 guys (I was a LOT thinner then) and we were having a severe bump n grind ... and then the one behind me asked if I would like to follow him to a cubicle. Did I? Does a bear shit in a leather toilet? Our liaison there ended up with me bent over the loo with him doing me good and hard from behind. Unbeknown st to us, we had been a few hours and the club had closed. My ex, the fucktard drunkard came in looking for me .... he stuck his head under the cubicles to see if it was me ... and not realising the club was shut and just thinking he was interfering, I kicked him in the face. Hard. Within seconds, the club staff came in asking us to hurry and leave. So we gave the job up unfinished. Sadly. He was good................... I wonder what his name was?

I have been photographed and video-ed many times during sex. Most notably during an orgy I was hosting. Those polaroids are out there, biding their time, to bite me on the arse when I get famous.

I stopped counting at my 1000th sexual partner about four years ago .......... counting just seemed stupid at that point. Do bear in mind, in my cruising days, it was not unknown to get through 8 or 9 guys in a night. Particularly at some of the tougher bars with backrooms and saunas. And yes, this is mostly sucking.......... fucking would run to around 40 or so I guess............. and always safe and regularly checked out. Once caught gonorrhea (spelling??) from an airline pilot in field in Baldock. Not nice at all. Just for the rod they jam down your japs eye if nothing else.

Am I a top or bottom? well, nether, both .. I dunno. These days I get more out of being a bottom that really is teh last 12 months only....

I get a lot of compliments. Especially from so called straight guys who are only out cruising cuz the wife wont put out. Yes girls, if you don't give it to them, they go to the nearest public toilet and there is someone like me who will. To be honest, that someone like me wont always find out that you exist, so hate your lying cheating fucktard husband, and not us. One particular married man who I really had a big thing for and so continued to see after I found out there was a wife once told me 'your arse is hotter and tighter than any pussy I ever had' well like duh ... think of the biology behind it!

I think that will do for now.
Bsabas ... if you want to hear more, let me know!

Friday, 2 February 2007

For Dan

Kiss Me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
I need help believing
You're with me tonight
My wildest dreams
Could not foresee lying beside you
With you wanting me
And just for this moment
As long as you're mine
I've lot all resistance
And crossed some borderline
And if it turns out it's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine

Maybe I'm brainless
Maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing though different eyes
Somehow I've fallen under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling it's up that I fell
Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight until it is through
And know I'll be here holding you
As long as you're mine

To my friends

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you, I have been changed for good

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime
So let me say before we part, so much of me is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart and now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine by being my friend

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know there's blame to share and none of it seems to matter anymore

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?
Because I knew you, I have been changed for good


That was the theme of our training session on Wednesday here at work. It was a fairly frank and open discussion and I enjoyed it a lot. Instead of being the bitter cynic sat in the corner for a change. However, I would like to share my notes with you. Each one is written in a different style of handwriting, they are randomly spaced out all over the single page of A4, most are not 'vertical' on the page either. Any comments you wish to make about what this says about me can be left in the usual place............

Success. (this is in block letters and I have shaded each letter in with lines ... not 2 letters have lines at the same angle)
No one mourns the Wicked. (fairly sure I wrote this while having a coffee and waiting for some late comers so we could start)
And you cant bring me down. (Theresa wrote this)
Lost in conversation and useless at scrabble
I'm through accepting limits cuz someone says they're so
And crawling on the planets face, some insects called the human race. Lost in time. And lost in space. And meaning.
There's such confusion don't it make you want to scream.
Who's to say if I've been changed for the better.
Some things I cannot change but til I try I'll never know.
Your ACTIONS speak louder than words and they're only words and that's the TRUTH. (I have written this with those words in capitals)
Meaning: What matters to you?
Danger to myself
Thought style. Cowboy Style (with a cute hat drawn over cowboy. Its supposed to be a cowboys hat but looks more like a gangsters trilby)
Nothing really matters. Love is all we need. Everything I give you all comes back to me. (me is underlined)
One question hurts and haunts too much to mention. Was I seeking good or just seeking attention?
Its all about popular
Bring on tomorrow, let it shine, like the Sun coming up on a beautiful day, its yours and mine. We can make a difference, its not too late, bring on tomorrow, we cant wait!

Everything i wrote down was a direct mental response to a comment made in the discussions. Yes. I have finally hit the point where I am so gay, my life is a musical in my head. Please kill me.

Thursday, 1 February 2007

A Week in the Life.....

So something lighter now. The last 7 days of my life.

Friday: Day booked off from work. This was part of the plan to get more from the weekend since Dan & i were taking the trip back East to see friends and family. You kind of lose your break by spending too much time rushing around on a regular weekend, so we booked off Friday and Monday to ensure we got a rest. This of course does not explain why its only Thursday afternoon and I am beat. We took a trip into Cardiff, Dan got a hair cut and flirted outrageously with the cute young thang doing the cut. Like hello ... I was sat four feet away! Ah, who am I kidding. I didn't care a hoot. I just want to watch if they get it on. I am a perv like that. I needed to buy a neck strap for my new work pass ... wanted Peter Pan or glitter and got Mickey Mouse. We had a drift around Forbidden Planet in search of a titanium die cast Battlestar Galactica toy. Nada. Had a subway, bought a ton of bath bombs from Lush and then left town ... in rush hour.
We then stopped off to say hi to Kay, while waiting to see if I got a call to go to Luton that night ... the call never came and we eventually left Kay's after Ugly Betty and a ridiculously large greasy burger from Uncle Sam's. I had the blue cheese one - YUM!

Saturday: Up, bathed, in the car to go to Baldock to see Mark. This is of course Wicked night.
So, Dan has a big sore on his heel due to new shoes and Steve came off his bike mid week so neither of them were much good on their feet, meaning we chose to drive down to Cockfosters and tube in from there. As there are 6 of us, this means 2 cars. I followed Mark down the A1 for fear of The Tumbler not keeping up with The Protonator.
At Hatfield, he pulled off the A1 and headed off towards Welham Green. Given it was about teatime on Saturday, there was no reason to think that the M25 would be a problem so I was confused about this diversion ... and made Dan call Lyanne to tell Mark we were going the wrong way. Apparently, this was a better route according to Steve's dad .. and turns out he was right! Until we got into Potters Bar and Mark sailed by the sign to turn left for Cockfosters.... So I gave Dan my phone again...... apparently they were all chatting and forgot where we were going. I wonder where that road would have taken us?
So we turn around, and they follow me back to the junction so that I can find my way to Cockfosters tube station car park as I had been there before. Once there I had to change into my gold shirt and silver platforms ..... which looked great but was a dumb idea as will be apparent later.
A quick tube ride to Victoria from Cockfosters (change at Finsbury Park) and there we were, right in front of the Apollo Victoria with a huge billboard for Wicked above the main entrance. We were an hour early so nipped off for a bite to eat first, the took our seats.
We were up in the upper circle, which gave us a great view of the elaborate decorations around the edge of the set. And then the people sat in front of me, leaned forward to be more comfortable and totally blocked out my view of the main stage. After minute or two of the show starting, the girl next to them was asleep and I had told them they cant sit forward as it blocks my view.... and after all, its all about me, right? They grudgingly sat back but then made a big deal of holding their programme up in my way to look at the set list every 10 mins.
15 mins into the show, it transpired the 6 of us weren't quite in the correct seats and all had to move up one to allow some other woman to have the end of the row. Or we were correct and she was just put there by the front of house staff as her seats were double booked .... we weren't quite sure.
For the entire show, there was always at least one person from our section trolling up or down the stairs to the toilet/bar/concession stand/merchandise shop/outside for a smoke. Not least the couple in front of the people next to us. The longest they both sat in the seats was about 7 mins ... otherwise one of them or the other was up and down and out and............ grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Then their mate finally woke up 90 mins into the show just as the first act ended. WHY? Who books a ticket for a show, travels all the way to London, just to get piss fuck drunk beforehand and sleep through the show? And who also spends a fortune on tickets and then cant wait an hour for a drink and has to get up continually through the show, thereby ensuring you have no idea what is going on! Fuckwits.
The show was magnificent. despite the continual interruption. However, my knees were dead. I hadn't though of the impact of sitting in a lower chair when your feet are raised an extra 5 inches off the ground in platform shoes..........
Waiting at Finsbury Park tube station, we had the fortune of standing next to a poster advertising a particular charity for people with mental or physical disabilities. The name of the example used was Mark ..... now, as you can imagine, this meant much hilarity for us as we had Mark with us and spent minutes making all kinds of derogatory comments about our Mark. In an absolute classic Robinson case of not mocking the afflicted, the first stop our train stopped at, the doors opened to reveal a full length, floor to ceiling poster for the same charity, this time featuring a downs syndrome lad. His name ................. Paul. Why do I never learn?
We returned to Mark's and sat out in the conservatory until 2.00am chatting.

Sunday: After a leisurely lay in, we had a brief chat and scooted off to see John and Steve, then on to mothers and finally a drive down to London to stop by and finally give Richie his birthday present. Left there after all the traffic had gone for the evening, and hit home about 1.00am.

Monday: Other day off. Did nothing. Chilled.

Tuesday: Back to work................. watched The Keeper of Traken & Logopolis

Wednesday: Training session at the Celtic Manor Resort. Finished at 12.00 and then went for a facial on the company. Back home by 3.00pm and had some work I had taken home....... watched Castrovalva and new ep of Ugly Betty

Today: First day of my 28 days on atkins diet. So far eaten, bacon and eggs, chicken and a pepperami. Only drank ribena. Bored already.

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