Randomness

My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Monday 5 February 2007

Ouch sweetie mamma

So I woke up Friday morning with migraine warnings. Dull ache in the head, bad stomach, walking felt like wading upstream in a fast flowing river, that kind of thing. I came to work anyway and brought my medication with me. I took one at 9.00 and another at around 12.45 .... I spent most of the morning sat at my desk with shades on. But at 1.30, I had to give up the fight and went home. I sat in the living room for a while with a music channel on...... and went and crawled into a small ball in bed at about 3.00pm. And I was cold. Ice cold. Then sweating...until I moved and then ice cold again. I drifted in and out of consciousness until Dan came home about half six. He apparently laid with me for a while but I don't recall. I do remember him going out of the room and me trying to find a way to lay that didn't hurt, eventually settling for crouching on my knees with my forehead pressed into a pillow to ease the pressure a bit. I drifted off for a while, then realised I had not informed my director I wouldn't be at rehearsal, so reached for a clock to check the time, thinking it must be around 7.00/7.30 so not too late ...... it was 12.57. I had passed out from the pain (its usually the only way to get through a migraine. To be awake for one is too much. The pain gets to the point of nausea and then vomiting kicks in .. on top of the headache from hell). I soon drifted off again as I heard Dan coming up to bed...... and knew no more until midday Saturday. The pain stopped around 4.00pm. The dull ache is still there today.
What really gets me is these people who walk around clutching their head saying they have a migraine. WHAT? You can walk? I cant when I get mine..... once they kick in proper I can do one thing and one thing only. Pray for sleep. The pain is so intense, I actually have considered drilling a hole in my head to relieve it before now. Thank god I have no idea where our drill is. I have also torn bedsheets in anguish. I bit my own lip and made it bleed. I have torn my own flesh pulling at my scalp to make it stop. And other times, just laid still and wondered if dying hurts any less. Then prayed for death, called it to me, begged every dead relative I have to come and take me, but please let the pain end.
This must sound very dramatic.
Trust me when i say it isn't!

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