My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Breeding Permission

After reading an article today about a 24 year old who is feeding her 9 month old triplets junk food, (by chewing it first of course, because that makes it ok), young Peter and I decided that you should have to complete a questionnaire to be allowed to breed.
Feel free to pass this to your local AM/MP/Frog Breeding Society.

From: Peter
Sent: 28 April 2009 10:17
To: Paul Robinson
Subject: RE: Some people really should be allowed to breed...

Basic tests should be in place and a license granted.

From: Paul Robinson
Sent: 28 April 2009 10:21
To: McHugh Peter
Subject: RE: Some people really should be allowed to breed...

And question one should be how to spell Findlay.............. (she has called her son Finlee)

Question two, how many people do you know that have been on Jeremy Kyle?

Question three: Henley's to you means:
A) A Regatta
B) A top brand of clothing innit
C) Something belonging to the lead singer of the Eagles.

Question four: Can you get pregnant if you do it standing up?
a) Yes
b) No
c) Yer but no but yer but no

Question five: Sex is better:
A) Romantically, at home, by candlelight
B) With the car door shut so the light goes off
C) Up against a tree, with an orderly queue formed

Question Seven: Is your mam
a) Also your Aunt
b) Under 40
c) A regular on crime watch
d) None of the Above
And thinking about the ability to actually raise kids....

Question 8: Nutrition is:
A) Essential for healthy bones
B) Not going large every time, and makes sure you get diet coke
C) Better than Old Trition.

Question 9: Engerland Engerland Engerland?
a) Engerland Engerland Engerland!
b) Awwww yeah man! Where are the [delete as appropriate] Scots/Welsh/Paddy bastards and we'll give them a going over?
c) Fuck off you yob
d) What?

Question 10: Doctor Who?
A) He's that tall skinny bloke, yeah?
B) A 904 year old Time Lord of Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous
C) Do I look queer?

Question 12: Do you pay attention to detail?
a) Yes
b) No
c) ____________________(please insert comment)

And we think that would about cover it. You'd need to score at least 12 to be allowed to breed.....
The more observant will have seen the logic in this.

Friday, 24 April 2009

Bad Paul

Ive been a bit shit with this of late, havent I?
Its all down to time, Proper Job and Other Jon don't leave a great deal of it you see. And what I do get, I then do my damnedest to actually have a life.
So all in brief.
Planet of the Dead. Camp Nonsense, but you know how I love my Doctor Who Camp Nonsense on a Bank Holiday. I actually got to see it a day early and on a big screen.
I know! How cool is that? They had a Dalek (meh) and a Cyberman (YAY).
A quick look at the pictures on my facebook page will tell you that I have also been out and about a bit.
A new quiz for Easter for my forum pals, a few trips out with various Squee's, Bad Wolf Bay, Paintball - and man I LOVED the paintball, there's the next Florida trip booked for October 2010, starting weight watchers, Who chasing ..... its all keeping me vitalised and in one piece mentally.

But lets discuss Who theory.
Herein may contain spoilery goodness, depending on your point of view.
I always said that 4 specials, would go thus:
Camp Nonsense (ting! 10 points for the Cub in the corner), Traditional scary monster story, Two Part Finale Balls to the wall fan wank apocalyptic extravaganza.
Looks like I may well be right, based on odd bits of filming that Ive caught and the Waters of Mars trailer. Speaking of Waters of Mars, which as is the case these days, is being referred to as WoM .... which if you say aloud, sounds like you are flexing a lightsabre .... I am predicting its going to be shown as part of Children in Need. Everyone, and I mean everyone else thinks I'm barking with that theory and for those people I have three words.
The Five Doctors.
And it looks pretty much entirely set in a Biodome on Mars - yet they filmed a snowy street scene outside Tree's flat in Feb ... the TARDIS arriving and Doctor, older lady MILF companion type and two youngsters and a WALL*E thing emerge ... and Ood Sigma. So guessing that's the end!
And for the finale, rumours of returning companions en masse again. Donna, Wilf, Syvlia, Sarah Jane and Luke all seen filming on location so far. Maybe sightings of John Simm .... but although we have seen plenty of new scenes filmed, we have also seen them back at a lot of previously used locations, leading to a little theorem of mine.
I think, as part of the shenanigans, the Doctor may be breaking the holiest of holy Time Lord rules and buggering about in his own timeline. Think Back to the Future part II, when Marty goes back to Hill Valley in 1955, and is running around trying not to bump into himself ..... lord knows how or why this occurs, but its a theory Ive had for a few months, and I'm not seeing too much that dissuades me from it yet.
We'll see over Christmas I suppose!