Breeding Permission

After reading an article today about a 24 year old who is feeding her 9 month old triplets junk food, (by chewing it first of course, because that makes it ok), young Peter and I decided that you should have to complete a questionnaire to be allowed to breed.
Feel free to pass this to your local AM/MP/Frog Breeding Society.

From: Peter
Sent: 28 April 2009 10:17
To: Paul Robinson
Subject: RE: Some people really should be allowed to breed...

Basic tests should be in place and a license granted.

From: Paul Robinson
Sent: 28 April 2009 10:21
To: McHugh Peter
Subject: RE: Some people really should be allowed to breed...

And question one should be how to spell Findlay.............. (she has called her son Finlee)

Question two, how many people do you know that have been on Jeremy Kyle?

Question three: Henley's to you means:

A) A Regatta

B) A top brand of clothing innit

C) Something belonging to the lead singer of the Eagles.

Question four: Can you get pregnant if you do it standing up?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Yer but no but yer but no

Question five: Sex is better:

A) Romantically, at home, by candlelight

B) With the car door shut so the light goes off

C) Up against a tree, with an orderly queue formed

Question Seven: Is your mam

a) Also your Aunt

b) Under 40

c) A regular on crime watch

d) None of the Above

And thinking about the ability to actually raise kids....

Question 8: Nutrition is:

A) Essential for healthy bones

B) Not going large every time, and makes sure you get diet coke

C) Better than Old Trition.

Question 9: Engerland Engerland Engerland?

a) Engerland Engerland Engerland!

b) Awwww yeah man! Where are the [delete as appropriate] Scots/Welsh/Paddy bastards and we'll give them a going over?

c) Fuck off you yob

d) What?

Question 10: Doctor Who?

A) He's that tall skinny bloke, yeah?

B) A 904 year old Time Lord of Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous

C) Do I look queer?

Question 12: Do you pay attention to detail?

a) Yes

b) No

c) ____________________(please insert comment)

And we think that would about cover it. You'd need to score at least 12 to be allowed to breed.....

The more observant will have seen the logic in this.