My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Thursday, 29 March 2007

My point of View

Most days is this. Its the view from my chair of my desk. Well, part of it.

Starting from Bottom left ....

1. Pad and pen. This is my scribbling pad. I have a tidier one that I take to clients but use this one for writing ideas and thoughts on. Moving up the pic you can see the corner of the phone, some post its (not invented by Romy & Michele) and then..

2. Powerball. Oh yes. The Popeye arms continue. And just above them you can just make out..

3. Mating turtles. Theresa brought these back from Greece.

4. Dalek Easter Egg box from last year.

5. David Tennant Doctor Who figure

6. Venom

7. Snowglobe. One side has Sarah Brightman from I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper, the other has Kath & Kim. Above that is no pretty much just the view out of the window down onto the river Taff. So back from bottom of the pic .....

8. Keyboard .... that is typing these very words you read. What devilry!

9. Papa Lazarou mug. Its my mug now Dave.

10. Empty glass ... that I keep for my ribena.

11. Lindt bunny. Oh yes.

12. Pen holder thing. The fluffy stuff at the top is a Cars pen and a Tigger pen next to each other. Both light up but are hard to write with.

13. Star Wars page a day complete sextet calendar. And no, its not a sixtology ... exactly how there is no such fucking word as Quadrilogy. ITS A QUARTET YOU FUCKING NUMB NUT CUNT TWITS. Sorry, I get wound up over that one really easily.

14. My screen. That is rubbish and too dark but they wont fork out for a new one ... hang on ... think I have just found the cause of the increase in my migraines...... on top of this you can see my mirror and my two beanie dogs.

So there you go. Now you know what I see as I write to you lovely people most days.

Harry Potter & the Black Lodge?

The cover art for the final Harry Potter book has been released.

Here it is.

Ok, it looks a bit small in the writing pane ... hopefully you can click on it to see its glory.

One thig worries me though. Why does Harry now appear to be Bobby Briggs from Twin Peaks (Dana Ashbrook, brother of Daphne Ashbrook who was the 8th Doctors companion briefly. See, it all ties in). Allow me to demonstrate

Is nobody else seeing this?

And these are for Rach. Just because.

Wednesday, 28 March 2007

Facts.... You will be tested later

How insane is that?

Only 3 days until new Doctor Who.

I know how Life on Mars ends.

Although I have been in and out of consciousness over Monday & Tuesday, the medication did relieve the pain in short enough bursts for me to get as far as episode 16 of Heroes since the start of the weekend.

I am currently munching a bag of Real Strong Cheese & Onion crisps. although primarily a Welsh brand, they are about to go national so get to Asda and have some. I am drinking Diet coke with Cherry.

I bough Dan an Easter Egg today, its a ................. ah! Nearly........

While I was off something I had on back order and had forgotten about has arrived. Its Ducktor Who and comes in a police box shaped box, has a Tom Baker style scarf and lights up .... and yes, its a rubber duck.

Migraleve don't have the super effect they once did so I am open to suggestions for new migraine relief tablets.

I am still in love with Babydaddy from Scissor Sisters.

But not as much as I love Dan.

Monday, 26 March 2007

I am recovering from a migraine (not a bad one thankfully ..... just a few hours of unconsciousness and the squits rather than 24 of writhing pain and puking) so all you get today is this. And frankly its more than enough as its BRILLIANT


Friday, 23 March 2007

My Father, Sandra.

So I have just had a very confusing e-mail conversation with my Dad.

Dad: if you in Luton this weekend we are filming for my movie so come round we will fit you in it......

Me: bugger. cant get there this weekend.............. but thank you for the offer! and why have I not been cast as a young you?????? bah!

Dad: bessie and the kids were in the Sandra Bullock promo that was shown to promote PREMONITION last week in the US and many other places... I will send you a still

Me: Sandra bullock is playing you? my god she must have let herself go.

Dad: she is playing me... its on now in the cinema

Me: confused? in premonition she plays a woman whose husband keeps existing and not... its not about dreams and things according to the blurb

So lets be clear about this. Sandra Bullock:

See her? All feminine n stuff.
In Premonition, from what I can figure from the trailer, she keeps waking up and her husband is dead, then not dead, then dead n shit..

My Dad:

Not very feminine. Married to Bessie. Regularly dreams the future with alarming accuracy and then turns up on shows like Richard & Judy and some show in Japan to talk about it.

And no. I don't look like him. At all. Frankly.

Just got this back after I enquired further on exactly how the world was supposed to believe that Sandra is a man from North London .....

she is the project made the documentary to accompany her film, I think then the DVD is released our documentary will be on it...

So .... the film, is an idea taken from work my dad has done in the USA on dream predictions. He has then been in a documentary, which will be on the DVD to show how the film actually started out based on real life events from his life.

And there I was hoping that the midget psychic woman from Poltergeist was going to play my mother.............

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

Who is coming back

Long term readers of this site will remember when I went to visit the Doctor Who/Torchwood/Sarah-Jane Adventures set back in the Autumn.

I can finally show you the bizarre 'shower cubicle' that was stood in the props area. All Colin would or could tell me was that 'an old friend of the Doctors comes back in that'. My first instinct was Ice Warriors, since they were strongly rumoured to be making a comeback. RTD has since insisted they aren't. So second guess was the black Dalek who we know comes back in the 1930's New York story this year. But it doesn't look very much like a dalek would fit through the door to be frank. Now, given all of the unconfirmed but being leaked left right and centre reports of the return of the Master................ officially a bit damp over this prospect.
Yes, this is a screen grab from the official site, so head on over there and see the rotating backgrounds for hints of lovely Who goodness to come.

Tuesday, 20 March 2007

Following on from Pete's talk of old continuity announcements. Thought I'd spring this one.

Regardless of the amount of channels that repeat this show. Not counting the fact that I own series 1 through 5 on dvd and was watching one of them just last night. Whenever I see this title sequence, its 1991, I live on my own at 8 Little Meadow, Woodside, just outside Luton, its 10.30pm and I have just got home from my dance class (rock n roll, disco, lambada and latin).

Ah, sweet nostalgia.

Monday, 19 March 2007

Oh what a beautiful morning

This was the view from my backdoor (steady on...) as I left for work this morning.
Yes, after what was very nearly a week of hot summer days, the weekend turned very wintry on us. Saturday brought with it a shit load of rain. Like torrential, get fucking soaked just dashing the 10 feet to the garage to get the car out soaked. However, the big Six Nations Wales v England rugby match did mean that instead of having to beat fatter people with my water bottle to get onto a cross trainer, i was one of about 5 people in the whole of the gym. And as our cross trainers have personal plasma screens, I didn't have to watch said game but got to watch a bit of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and some thumpin'-mash-up-wicked-choons on chart hits tv instead. I had the pool and steam room to myself. It was lush.

Sunday was Mothers Day and since I am not financially in a position for a trip to Luton (its about £60 round trip in my car including the £5.10 it costs to get back into Wales. Ok, this may need explanation.... it actually doesn't cost money to get into Wales per se, but they charge you to come over the bridges at the Severn Crossing by Bristol to pay for the upkeep of the bridges. There are other ways around but it means B roads and a lot of fucking about, when the drive around the M4 is just much easier) we just went to Dan's mums instead. We had sunshine as we got up, hail by 11.00am, then rain, then sun, then some lovely rainbows as we drove over to Newport, then blizzards when we got home. Hence the picture this morning. Sadly the roads are clear, so got to work ok. Could have used some more kip.

Officially over Battlestar Galactica right now too. Last night I watched, last weeks ep (will download last nights tonight, if you follow). It has become the most boring show on tv. ever. well, perhaps not ever but they seem to intent on making it all about the drama and the characters and not a sci fi show, that they have forgotten to include a story worth watching. Even Dan was bored............ and he watches Stargate for crying out loud.

Saturday, 17 March 2007

What a fucking liberty

Wednesday, 14 March 2007

Sonic Boom Boy

So last night was something of a fuck up all round.

It was the final of Stargate SG1 .. ever .... but since I really cant stand the show, made sure I had plans to be everywhere else so Dan could watch it in peace. You see, never sit and try and watch a show I don't like in my presence. Its not intentional, I cant help myself, but I will rip the shit out of it continually, or just try and assess which ice rink they are training in...... (Rach will tell you!) ... I think its because, bottom line .. its all about me.............

Anyhoo, last night. Left work at 5.30 as per, started preparing dinner and managed to do a bit of ironing. Dan got home around 7.00, we ate ... I ironed some more so that I wasn't going to gym on a full stomach. I arrived at the gym at about 8.30 and it was packed. Now, I wasn't too fussed on this occasion as I had to be at rehearsals at 9.00 so i genuinely was only doing a quick intense 10 min cross train session. Not that any of the regular ones were free. The only machine I could get on was in the express gym.
The express gym is a small room to one side of the main part of the gym, that has one treadmill, two cross trainers, two bikes a set of weights machine thing and two mats with a Pilate's ball thing. They say Express Gym not because you can nip in and our real quick (even though, come to think of it, that's what I did) but its for people who are a bit conscious of exercising in a room full of uber fit toned and muscled fitness geeks. And yes you weight training people ... you may like sports but you are geeks too. Just a different flavour to us sci fi types.

So i did my ten minutes on a cross trainer in the express gym .... and they are older ones than the main gym and seem to work differently ... I don't like them .... they hurt the front of my thighs.... jumped in the shower and started to change to head down to rehearsal. As I pulled on my jeans, I checked my mobile .... rehearsal had already finished so I could go straight home. Now... I had asked them to let me know this, because I would not have been impressed had I turned up at the hut to find it dark, locked and empty... possibly still with the drunk we had to chase off last Friday hanging about (ooh, did I tell you that story? I was such a big girls blouse!) ... so the fact they had told me was good. Then I realised I could have stayed on for a proper work out, but having now showered and wet my towel, I couldn't go back in. So I went home thinking that I could possibly manage to sit through the last 20 mins or so of SG1 in silence.

Dan was surprised to see me back and was indeed watching his Stargate .... from 6 weeks ago as he hasn't been watching when I have been at the gym as I thought (so what has he been doing???? Actually, I know he watched Eight Legged Freaks one night, since he really cant have it on when I am in the house). So I left him to it and went upstairs to pootle about.

And that's when I remembered we have an X Box.

Its not been touched in over a year (aside from moving house.... don't get picky) so I put on Sonic the Hedgehog ... not these all real 3d ones they are always showing on the telly .. the old Mega Drive version of the original Sonic the Hedgehog. But the TV we have up there is very old and very fucked ... so the sound didn't work and the picture kept cutting out.. so I skulked back down stairs. Dan suggested trying a different scart socket..... so back up to the attic I go ...and it worked! Hurrah! Now, I am not really a gamer ..... I am and always have been notorious for being utter shite on these things.... except Sonic. was always a bit of a whizz at Sonic. So imagine my surprise when I didn't even make it to the boss of level 2 before losing all of my lives.

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

Looking for Linda

And not the song by Hue & Cry, even though I was quite fond of it at at the time. It was 1988. Music wasn't in a good way particularly. Well, now that I say that, actually I can think of a few good tunes from the era, but there you go.

No, I just wanted to mention an entry on BTV that I just read (for some bizarre reason, although I visit Bsabas TV daily, only today did the last 4 updates appear on my pc ... I think we have been having issues here at work and it was using a page from memory rather than looking for the new one ... or something... oh fuck off, I'm not a pc wizard).


Go and read it then.

Go on........................ I am not lifting another finger until you do!

Back? Ok now, like me, you probably have a picture of Linda in your head. Is this what you see too?


Just wondered.............................

In other news. We have discovered powerball in our office. Well, by we I mean Me & Graham.

This handy gadget is very good for training for many sports such as tennis, squash and golf. Its gyro action helps strengthen the wrist lower and upper arms and shoulder. Its recommended to assist people suffering from forms of arthritis. I suspect it also helps with wanking.

See, the little yellow ball on the inside spins round and has gyros in it, meaning it kind of goes all over the place .... but once started, you have to manipulate its continued movement and increased speed yourself by keeping it going in a circular motion as it works against you and also tries to work its way out of your grip. The version we have here also has a rev counter on it, so you can see how fast you have made it work ... and of course, being boys with toys, we are trying to outdo each other. After just 2 mins on this thing, I could actually see the difference between my right and left forearm (being right handed, I had been using my right hand you see). Of course, even though I am flat broke, have used what should have been my petrol money for the next 7 days to order one of my own and am now praying my sales director comes through with the Tesco vouchers I won 5 weeks ago as fuel warning light is already on. Still, with forearms like Popeye, I can just drag the car home.

Monday, 12 March 2007

Cardiff Bay

A small video I took, down in Cardiff Bay, for some friends of mine in America.

Just thought I'd share.


Friday, 9 March 2007

Robinson's Believe It Or Not!

Got sent these today. Not a clue if they are true.

1. Every year, parks in London alone are doused in one million gallons of dog urine. (and people sit here to picnic, shag etc.)
2. The germs present in human faeces can pass through up to ten layers of toilet paper. (which is why I wipe with asbestos gloves on)
3. The best recorded distance for projectile vomiting is 27 feet. (thank you, I assume my cheque is in the post? No, really ..... ask Dan! I don't get these people who just lean over, spew and carry on. I am a gibbering wreck, usually burst blood vessels in my face from the force of retching and lose my eyesight for a few mins from lack of oxygen and force of the spewing. My gut spends so much time forcing stuff up, I cant get air in as my throat closes)
4. Contrary to popular belief, if you swallow chewing gum it does not stay in the gut. Usually it will pass-through the system and is excreted without incident. However, several cases have been reported where the gum has stuck in the rectum, causing the unfortunate sufferer to excrete long sticky trails of gum, like a pink spider's web. (now THAT Id like to see in Spiderman.....)
5. Several well-documented instances have been reported of extremely obese people flushing aircraft toilets whilst still sitting on them. The vacuum action of these toilets sucked the rectum inside out. (that flush noise scares me enough as it is)
6. It is physically possible to cough your guts up. (Who found this out?)
7. If your body's natural defences failed, the bacteria in your gut would consume you within 48 hours, literally eating you from the inside out. (and I'm done with the chicken and rice)
8. What is one of the most difficult items for sewage works to handle, as it is insoluble, yet fine enough to pass through most filtration systems? (Every month Thames Water removes over a ton of this substance from its water treatment plants, whereupon it is taken away to a landfill site and buried) You guessed it - pubic hair. (And that's just my mate Richie's.......)
9. Parasites count for 0.01% of your body weight. (so not enough to warrant getting rid of them to lose weight then. Speaking of which I am still stuck at 13,4 ... what will it take to get down any more? Cut off a leg?)
10. Henry II was murdered by his homosexual lover, who pushed a red-hot poker 0.5 metres up his rectum. (Don't be giving Dan ideas.......)
11. The longest recorded tapeworm found in the human body was 33 metres in length.
12. A woman who had recently visited South America, where she had safaried in local rainforest, began to experience severe pains in her left ear, accompanied by headaches, dizziness and constant rustling sounds, at first put down to tinnitus. It became so serious that exploratory surgery was required, which revealed that a spider which had become trapped in her ear. Eventually it had eaten through her eardrum and was living within the aural cavity. The rustling sounds were from the spider crawling around inside her skull. An egg sac was also removed. (Ugh.. was just a bit sick in my mouth)
13. A man in Australia was concerned about a growing lump on his nose, was examining it in the mirror and saw a red back spider crawl out. Doctors found an entire red back nest inside his nose. (Why is it never butterflies?)
14. An obese woman was admitted to a Queensland hospital with stomach pains, it turned out that her T.V. remote control was stuck in between rolls of fat and had become an abscess. (Shit ... where is my dvd remote?)
15. Another woman in Queensland who had lost a lot of weight went to the doctor with a big, hard, horn-like object protruding from her abdomen. Closer examination determined that it was years of compacted belly-button fluff. (Ah! see, I clean mine and Dans out every day!)

These dreams.....

and no, this isn't a post about lesbian fantasy objects Anne & Nancy Wilson. As much as any female admiring readers may wish it was.

I had a very restless nights kip last night. I am not entirely sure why. It may that I watched the latest ep of Battlestar Galactica from the downloads last night and was VERY unhappy with it. VERY. The fact that Starbuck died didn't bother me .... I don't think she is even really dead to be honest ... but it was all so pointless. They have been leading up to this special destiny crap since season one .... so as we stand right now, this special destiny was just to commit suicide? Now.... i know those of you who have seen it will probably say that she isn't dead its actually a thing about going to the place between life and death and rah rah rah .... but the ep was slow. It was billed as being the most important and influential ep of galactica ever ... and it was boring and nothing happened until the death at the end .. which had no impact on me as i was just bored and pissed off by then. Not like when Aeryn buys it at the end of season 2 of Farscape .... I was a wreck for hours after that one!

But I digress....

My dreams......

well, one long dream to be exact.

I am on a plane. With Alex. We re going to America but are only on a tiddly 737 thing .. anyway, as we are over Spain (not that you would be flying from London to the USA, but its my dream so the plane can go anywhere I want it to, ok?), something goes wrong and we have to land in the water. I think we are actually near Lanzarote by the time we are in the water. The plane is floating nicely and the staff open the doors as we are getting quite warm now the systems are all switched off. Eventually, the captain gets a message saying we need to head to land as there is a chance the plane might start taking on water and sink. I am fairly worried about this, as will lose my luggage.
The trolley dolleys popped out the inflatable ramps and rafts and we all empty ourselves into them. Each wee dinghy holds about 8 people ... so it was quite a fleet ... with no oars so we are paddling by hand. And surrounded by sharks. I actually touched one as I paddled and given it ignored me, I inform the rest of my boat they are clearly safe and we continue ....
Land is quite literally about 200 yards from the plane (so why the hell didn't they send a boat to us dammit?) but we do have to round this little bank of rocks to get to the quayside and beach. Its a charming little resort, with kids play area, deckchairs full of fat Spanish woman in red and black polka dot dresses (fuck knows where I get this detail from. Any good therapists out there?) under large parasols and lost of little shops for ice creams, tacky souvenirs and stuff.
So, we have a bit of a wait but they sort us out a plane to get us to America but our luggage is damaged beyond salvage so we will be taken shopping as soon as we arrive and furnished with new clothes and stuff.
So here we are .. back on a plane.... for some reason being flown by two blonde girls. It transpires that this plane is almost out of fuel and we have to do the best we can to get as far as we can and then pray. I sit behind these girls in the cockpit for a while, watching them try and dodge mountains as engine after engine stops. Finally, engine 3 gives out ... and all we can do is point and steer as we slowly glide downwards. After a very close near miss with a grassy mountain, where the two girls scream and curl up away from the controls .... I take over.
We are very high up (just how fucking big were these mountains???) as we are above cloud and even towns are barely visible. As we glide lower, there is a large plain between two mountain ranges ... and the lower we get, the more I can see it is made up of a massive city, that has lots of roads and houses ... none more than two storeys high ... and all of the roads run through the direction of the valley - none cross it at all, but there are about 20 lanes of motorway. I am doing my best to steer us to a plain and think I see one..... but it turns out to be even more motorway and I just land us there and hope for the best.
We have landed in Holland (you know, the place that is just known for its mountain ranges). even in the dream I am amazed we ended up in the land of the Dutch when we were in in the canaries and headed for America.
We leave the plane and are taken to a very old fashioned railway station ..... think how Kings Cross looks in the Harry Potter films or the one in Paris in Moulin Rouge. Aside from us from the flight, everyone else seems to be an orthodox Jew and male. And talking Russian. Don't ask me to why or how I know, just accept it was Russian and move on, yeah?
Now, i don't fully remember after this but I do know it carried on and we ended up on a third plane but don't know if we ever got to where we were going.

Thursday, 8 March 2007


There we go, back in work and leaving the housewife bit behind ...... until I get home to more ironing.

But anyhoo, some good news

Dan applied for an internal position at Legal & General .......... and he got it! I don't know the full details, but it does mean he is now away from speaking to customers on the calls and in some other role ............ hopefully with more money, but I don't know.......... if its less, I will shoot him... but doubt it somehow

Wednesday, 7 March 2007

There's a party going on in atomic city

or so Holly Johnson is currently telling me as I continue to put my backlog of old MTV tapes to dvd.

This song reminds me of a guy called Barry I was at sixth form with. He had a serious girlfriend but I was convinced he was/is gay. Not seen him since 1989 so I can only be left to wonder.

Well, I now know my lines for the play .... well mostly .... some of them keep coming out in the wrong place and I have two pages still to go .... but they are all short enough ... I will do them later today.

So with all the house cleansing yesterday, I continued today and have done all of the washing and ironing, washing up and given the cooker and surfaces a quick once over too. Oh, and there is now a pasta bake in the oven to be ready for when Dan gets home as he is on half day today. And I feel like a woman from a Doris Day flick ... just not that western one ...... with any luck, later it will become a scene from a Swedish porn flick. Just less moustaches......

Tuesday, 6 March 2007


So here I am, halfway through my three days of work .... and I am washing the curtains. Yet to be done is a run around with the vac, maybe some dusting if I can bring myself to cope with the inevitable sneezing attack due to my allergies and some washing up. Oh, and of course prepare dinner for when Dan gets home. Then hit the gym and head off to rehearsals.

who said domestic life is bliss?

Sunday, 4 March 2007

Niner niner this is starcom....

And while I am on crap video duty, have this. My all time funniest pop video ever.

See, last night I had the great fortune to sit through VH1 UK's top 20 bad videos. And we had some corkers. As most of you will know, I love my cheese fests and I love my pop culture nostalgia trips ... so a top 20 videos mostly made of shite from the 80's? I came in my pants a good three times over. Olivia Newton John - Physical, Miami Sound Machine - Dr Beat ... and then this absolute beauty, filmed in Milton Keynes when it was the new and exciting place to be. Christ, they even had Noel Edmonds advertising it as a place to shop! Central Milton Keynes, shopping as it should be, just off junction 14 of the M1.

As I am spending the next few days converting old tapes from MTV recordings on to dvd, expect a few more of these ... I am watching 'Turtle Power' Partners in Kryme as I type....

Friday, 2 March 2007

Do do do, come on and do the conga

I am sure I dont have to explain why this is so funny.

1. Milk bottles

2. Is it just me or does every wedding have a fat aunt like that who dances by side stepping and holding her fists in the air?

Thursday, 1 March 2007

"Dydd gwyl Dewi hapus" (pronounced "deethe goil Dewi hapeece")

And to celebrate, look what I found at work when I arrived this morning........