I couldn't find a suitable title for this post, for reasons that will become clear.
On Friday afternoon, I had a call from a friend and former NTL Swansea colleague to inform me that her nephew and one time acquaintance of mine, had died. Seemingly suicide. No, he isn't from Bridgend.
Now, I do have to say, he wasn't a close friend. In fact, if anything, I think he saw me as in the way a bit as he was very attracted to Dan. He'd occasionally send Dan messages to the effect that he could be a better boyfriend to Dan than I was being. Dan, of course knows better, because I am the best boyfriend anyone could ever wish for (NOT! every day I wake up and he is still putting up with my shit is just a miracle frankly). But still it was something of a shock as the man was only a year or so older than me. And the real headspin is that he was on my mind two evenings last week, after not having given him a second thought for months
Apparently, his father died some months ago and his mother is terribly ill in an Alzheimer's ward, so he had moved back home.
So far, so bit-sad-but-what-can-you-do
Then yesterday I had another call. Possibly not suicide, but may have been a tragic accident after a drink and drugs binge. Not hard street drugs crack stylee, but more Heath ledger style tragedy.
And if you are eating, please stop now and come back when you are done
The house was a total mess. Piss, shit, vomit and blood seemed to be everywhere. Walls, floors, clothes, beds, chairs - all covered. Syringes littered the floor where he used to inject himself with something that gave him fake tan. They also discovered he was HIV+. We can never know what events lead to this, but whatever it was, it wasn't pleasant. he'd already had one big breakdown many years ago - was this another?
Now, his sister and another member of the family had to go through the house and clear up. Which they did - and found his leather gear too. Nought wrong in that you probably think. Hell, we have two drawers of leather stuff at home .. trousers, chaps, thongs ... its hardly the shock of the century. But these evil bitches took great delight in being vindictive, spiteful and homophobic about it. A member of their family who had just died. And my mate who was there was horrified by it all. Even two days later on the phone to me, her voice was cracking up relaying the tales of their sneering and jeering as they went about putting everything in bin liners before just dropping it off at the local dump.
yes .... just the dump .... with all the body fluids and syringes inside .... for any council worker, scavenger or such to just go through and find. Granted, HIV cant live outside the human body, so that isn't a risk ... but goodness knows what else what might be there. It should have been taken to the hospital for incineration.
I have offered that of my friend can get hold of his mobile, I'll go through it and make the dreaded call to his contacts. God knows, we cant let these heathens do it. I may even attend the funeral .. not because I have any great need to deal with my own grief over it, but because somebody may need to be there to make sure the man is laid to rest with some dignity, because fuck knows, he wont get it from his immediate family.
But to happier things
Madonna's new album is out! Hurrah! Only managed one listen so far, but Spanish Lesson and Beat Goes On are standing out as faves at the moment. I very rarely instantly love a new Madonna album .. or any album for that matter. I find I will like something but we have to bond. Spend time with each other, grow to love our own foibles. The only time I ever instantly hit it off, was Ray of Light, which remains my fave Madonna album to this day. perhaps I should write up my relationships with each album? or would that just be silly?
And on the ever growing list of shit to look out for in Doctor Who (god help you trying to watch an individual episode .... you miss half of it listening for buzz words). Dan spotted another - Medusa Cascade. I am going to stick my neck out and say Davros is hiding there!