My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Monday, 18 September 2006

This no moon, its a space station

... but I am not going to talk about star wars, even though I did watch my original 'bonus disc' version of empire last night, its just a reference to the fact that I have lot to tell you in this entry, so go to the loo, grab a coffee and hold tight.

Of course, today is the day after the three day trip to Spain before. friday am I got up bright n early all packed n stuff, had a shave so I wouldn't have to bother out there and could just get all macho stubbly, ran out to catch the 6.40 bus to Aber station to meet Jo. By 7.00am and no sign of any of the 'every 10 mins' buses, I went back and got the car .. just in time to see the bus go by as I opened my front door. As it happened, I overtook said bus in Abertridwr (pronounced Abba Tridder) so would have been quite late to meet everyone had I got on it. 5 of us met at work and went off to the airport for a good breakfast before flying to Malaga. Bit of a bumpy flight out, but since I live flying I didn't care. Also there were about 11 of us on the plane together and we cackled most of the way there.

Quick cab ride to our hotel and then the fun really began. Torremolinos is quite possibly the biggest shit hole in the universe. No, really. The biggest shit hole in Torremolinos is the Hotel Griego Mar. Can you guess where we were staying? After a major kerfuffle over room sharing (11 people from the original booking had dropped out so the hotel had cancelled rooms and decided who was sharing with whom and had put together a few couple that were not going to get along. Luckily Tucker and I were just fine and toddled off to our fifth floor room with stunning view of mountains, other hotels and er ... cranes). We had been upgraded to all inclusive, which meant we had to wear charming purple wrist bands to show at the bar and restaurant ..well, I say restaurant....... Marias face was a picture when she realised she had to wear this at all times and at no point was going to be given a clean one.

So we toddled off for a stroll along the beach and managed to find our way there easily, via a cemetery.....

Now, you'd think that a nice beach at the southern tip of Spain on a gorgeous afternoon would be riddled with eye candy, wouldn't you? WRONG. Vileness from all corners. The only sight that even vaguely amused me was a semi cute young man who had fallen alseep and was quite clearly enjoying his dream a bit too much, if you know what I mean.... other than that it was skinny hoes with their baps out ... and baps would really be pushing the point, it was more like loaf ends from a small hovis. We did manage to meet some of our colleagues from an earlier flight though and we all made our way back to the hotel to go for dinner.

And what an experience that was. Buffet self service in a restaurant that had not seen any new decor since 1964. Have you seen the Are You Being Served movie? Some odd mix of Florida salad, turkey in sauce with grapes, cold meats or steak and kidney pie and chips were on the menu. Pie and chips it was then .... even though I removed enough kidney to have been from the population of a small african village and found just one piece of steak the size of my thumbnail. The choice of beverages with dinner were tea, coffee, chocolate, milk, water, orange juice or red or white sherry. There was a lovely angel delight with cream and hundreds and thousands for dinner though.

After the sheer comedy of the meal, we sat by the pool, all 30 odd of us, watching the hapless wonder of the mini disco. Then we decided to venture out ...... and it was decided we would go to an Irish bar. Now, at this point I was a bit tired and had downed a few vodka's and raised the question as to why we had come to Spain to go to an Irish bar, when Dublin had been one of the choices for this weekend away. This caused a minor spat between me and Kelly as she wanted to know if I knew anywhere better locally ... which clearly I didn't and said so but thought I should just raise the point. So Kelly told me I was being derogatopry, so I flounced off to my room to sulk and didn't go out with them.

After an hours sleep, I felt better and went for a walk round the town, decided there was nothing I wanted to do and went back to bed. But not before finding a confused Dave in the hotel lobby and I took him to the Irish bar to be with everyone ... but didn't go in as didn't feel up for it.

So saturday morning came and we went back to our lovely hotel eatery for breakfast. Cereal, continental or a fry up. A fry up so greasy that it looked like it was actually glazed and the grease ran off it like water. Nice. Then as most of our party finally arrived, they were clearing away and didn't let them even eat.

So a train ride to Fuengirola was in order. Drift round the shops, sat at a cafe and staged a comedy broken chair you've been framed moment, bowl of chips then off on a bus to Marbella.

Marbella is beautiful. We arrived mid siesta so lots was shut but we wandered around the town and found a cafe to sit and chill out at with some drinks (just diet coke for me) and some nibbles (I opted for chocolate mousse as had had chips earlier). Then we trotted down the beach and had a paddle. As Tree and I were squealing with the cold water on our feet, Graham came and informed us that everyone had gone to get taxis back ... without us. Gee, thanks guys. Thank god Graham thought about us! So found Chloe, wandered up to get our own cab, found a few others who had stopped for one final bevvie for the road then got cabs back. Cab ride? Longest white knuckle ride I have ever been on. Shit my pants.

As we pulled off into Torremolinos, the three cabs re-grouped to get together and find the hotel. As the first one pulled away, a jogger we had passed went over the the second cab ... and proceeded to knock seven bells of shit out of the driver. Our driver and Tucker leapt to the rescue scaring the jogger off ... but the other driver was already a mess and covered in blood. My already pounding head wasn't loving the extra adrenaline. Needless to say police were called and it was all a bit of a drama. Apparently, the cab driver had slowed down to check out the joggers wifes ass ... and jogger man didn't like it. Over react much?

We got back to our room and I looked out across the balcony ... or the blur that should have been the view and came to a hateful realisation. Migraine in T minus 5 minutes. sadly, my medication was still back in Wales, so there was nothing to do but ride this bad boy out. And it was one of my worst too. I think the mix of the heat, being tired, the 20 minute drive from hell and finally the punch up was too much for a delicate flower like me. While the rest of my party enjoyed another great night out, I was semi conscious, writhing in pain. I passed out after about an hour from the sheer exhaustion of it ...and came to around midnight, in a nest I had somehow made myself on the bathroom floor, in a puddle of my own sweat. I figure my sub conscious took me there as it was the darkest and coldest place in the hotel room. My sub conscious is a wonderful person ... it had also seen fit to pack my bags as I would be in no fit state in the morning and had dead locked the door so I wouldn't be disturbed. Amazing.... wonder what else I am capable of comatose?

Bright and early and still with a banging head (but by no means as bad as it had been 12 hours previously) I checked out and we got the coach back to the airport. A coach that was delayed 30 mins by three of our party who hadn't got up........ meaning we were at the back of an hour long queue to check in .... then only had 30 mins before boarding.

Flying with the tail end of a migraine is a bizarre experience. My sinus passages were in a bad way and the pressure actually made me very dozy ... so I slept but could taste blood a lot, even though I couldnt find what was bleeding.

So that was the big weekend away for me. A queenie strop and a migraine. By all accounts, everyone else had a cracking time and are still trying to recover .... so think all in all, I did quite well to actually have a rest really. I enjoyed myself after all!


  • At 11:48 am, Blogger Danny said…

    Ok, so who was it that was still in the house at nearly 7.50 when i came down????

  • At 1:29 pm, Blogger Peter Pan said…

    7.50? Wasnt me ... was almost at the airport by then. You did come down at 6.59 though just as I came through the house to get the car.

  • At 1:01 pm, Blogger Danny said…

    Sorry that was supposed to read 6.50


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