My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

Snot & Mucus

There. That about sums up my life since I saw you last. By saw you last, clearly I just mean wrote here for you. Friday I coughed a lot all afternoon at work, Saturday I couldn't raise from my bed until well into the evening, Sunday was much the same. Monday.... got up with every intention of getting to work but realised I was pushing myself too far and really should get better before spreading germs or making myself worse.

This might turn into a few posts from here as I have a few tales to tell, inspired by Bsabas' writings in the last week.

But first off the mark, is a small tale from yesterday afternoon for you.

Now, its common knowledge that:
A) Gaydar is a great website for making friends and I check in daily to chat with some people across the UK who I met on there. By met, that varies from people I only know online right through to people I know intimately.
B) Its a bit of a meat market and is great for so called straight guys to get some on the side when the mrs is out.
C) I am a total tart
So it shouldn't have been quite the shock it was yesterday at about 3.00pm when my mobile rang and some guy I have vaguely chatted to a few times (and clearly given my rough address to and my mobile number) said he was by my front door and was I up for a shag? I had to politely advise that as I was a ball of mucus and had a bit of a fever, its wasn't really a good time for me but he was welcome to come in and watch me hack up my right lung over a lemon tea. He came in, we chatted, he asked if I had porn (which of course I do, like duh!), he watched some, he jerked himself off while I sniffled on teh other sofa, he left.
He didn't even finish the Ribena Light I made him. Bastard. I could have had that.

Next story:
If you nip over and look at Bsabas TV, he and Brian used to write stories together called 'Jimmy'
This reminds me of a series of books written by myself, Adam, Inez and Sonia when we were all at High School together. The cast involved a good chunk of our peers as a range of characters from a ghost, a private detective, a hero, a cow called daisy .. all of which was just any excuse to put references to sex, body fluids and swearing into a written page. The original tome was called The Girl Next Door and mostly involved her getting anything and anyone inside her lady garden. Things ranged from her first experience with a guy in the year above us, to the Eiffel Tower. No, it made no sense, yes it was very crass/crude/juvenile. We were 14 when we started it, on the coach to France in June 1985 and it consisted of each person writing a page then passing it on. There was then a sequel (the GND 2), a third book that I cant remember and then Soapies. Where we took select characters from all the soaps we watched, cast them again as our chums and wrote evil, vile things about them but all very much in a Dynasty style. These books became legend. If you were part of our in crowd, you got to read them. If not, you were probably cast and being made horrendous fun of and trying to badger anyone who was allowed to read the hallowed tome to be allowed to read it too. This rarely worked as we always found out (due to people being very unhappy to how we portrayed them and them having a go at us) and if you let an infidel read 'the book', we NEVER let you read it again.

Now, I am in touch with very few of my school friends. Adam and I stayed in touch through sixth form but then I hit a 'difficult' patch as I started to realise this whole copping off with guys thing wasn't a phase (more on that tomorrow) and to be blunt about it, i was cunt for a few years. During that time, I lost a good friend in Adam. He turned up on a website (possibly Friends Reunited, cant remember) and I dropped him a mail but never heard back. I'd like the chance to apologise to him face to face, but I don't know he can ever forgive me being such an arse to him and ignoring him and stuff back when i was 17/18. I found out a few years back we had a mutual friend, but sadly didn't manage to make contact there either. Sonia went on to work at a magazine in London .... then I kind of lost track of her too. Although in 2003 I did sit in the jacuzzi at my gym with her sister and asked her to pass on my best. Inez. Now, there is a real mystery. No matter who you bump into from school, college or anything, nobody ever knows what happened to Inez. Last rumours say she fell in with a heavy drugs crowd (like your real crack heads as opposed to somebody who just does a bit of green once in a while) back in the late 80's and went to London and was never seen again. I find that a bit of a worry and very sad. She was a god friend to me during high school.
We (and by that I mean all of us as a gang) did a lot together. Adam and I used to play Doctor Who when we first met at the tender age of 11. he was always The Doctor (Peter Davison at that time) and I was Adric - ironic given my crapness at maths that later proved to be a form of dyslexia with numbers. His dad took us to the Doctor Who 20th Anniversary Celebration at Longleat .... we got to meet lots of the cast up to that point, we bought TARDIS technical manuals, we saw sets and props from The Five Doctors - five months before it broadcast! My dad took us to a weekend car rally, we went to countless parties together, the first time we got drunk was together, we cried on each others shoulders when we split from our first girlfriends. How the hell did I cock that one up?
Inez - we were both arcade addicts, she for Return of the Jedi, I for Paperboy. We went many times to stay with her nan in Weston Super Mare and spent days in Mr B's arcade. We rode horses bareback (my god, that has a different meaning for me these days. The innocence of youth) along the beach at sunset. That is the kind of memory that sticks for life, I can tell you. We used to pretend to be hairdressers and do my mums hair, we learned naff dance routines for Bananarama and Mel & Kim songs. She used to bribe me with bourbon biscuits to copy tapes for her.
The three of us were the Harry (Adam), Ron (Me) & Hermione (Inez) of our year. Basically good kids who did their work mostly on time and did well enough grades wise but weren't above having a good adventure on the side and getting in trouble for your mates or something you believed in. We didn't do much with broomsticks though.

Where was I going with this? Nowhere really. Just thought you should know.


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