Big Brother will get back to you

So Celeb BB began again last night............. stretching the definition of the word celebrity to new lows. Does anyone know who that wanker is from that band about tower of London or something? I cant find anyone who knows who he is. Is this some odd twist from last years Chantelle not being a celeb but having to convince the housemates she was a pop star in Europe? Has this guy got to convince the public? Then we have:
Ken Russell............. may not live through it, bless him. I don't think the producers are being fair by putting him in there.
Cleo Rocos ......... big boobed legend from the Kenny Everett Show. Not been famous since 1982 but think she will be fun
Dirk Benedict ........ arrived in the A Team van........ genius
H from Steps ......... who came out yesterday........apparently....... the reaction across the entire UK was 'wasn't he out already?' which says a lot
Some Bollywood actress......... good call BB ........ given the very large multi cultural nature of the UK, she ought to do well. I went to a few Bollywood films a few years back. Sadly I had no idea what was being sung but the plot always seems to be: Ugly fat old man with lots of money is due to be wed to thin young girl less than half his age, she wails about it to her friends and meets fit young man. They sing on a clifftop somewhere. Old man finds them. Old and young man fight. Old man is shot/stabbed/falls off cliff. Young man and thin girl get married. And this all takes three hours.
Danielle Lloyd ........ never heard of her. Sick of her whiny voice before she even got in the house.
Carole wotsit ........... some tabloid journo who has made a career from slagging off reality tv.... interesting
Jo O Meara .......... former member of S Club 7..... apparently lovely but think she may well have a total breakdown by day 12
Leo Sayer ........ seemed to actually know everyone and have met them all before. Still has unfeasibly large hair
Jermaine Jackson..... sweet lord he has no idea what he has let himself in for. On the way in, he told Davina he has servants to do everything and does the white glove test to make sure his house is clean. Can we say OCD?

The rumours had The Hoff! Rupaul! Su Pollard! And we get this bunch of shite. I'll watch it if there's nothing better to do, but frankly there is a whole internet of porn out there that deserves my attention more...........