1984

Its OK, I don't think Big Brother is watching right now. He's a bit busy with claims of racial abuse.

So anyway, as promised, ramblings of my confused high school/teenage life. As inspired by Bsabas and I also promised him a return tale for the epic that is his Robert R story (which if you haven't read, nip up to the links and go read. Its a corker).

Sadly mine wont be as exciting. I had no failed romances with other confused boys. Just animal monkey lust with a guy I cared for only as a long standing friend.

And I find it hard to pin point the moment it all began.

Aron was cousin to the kids who lived a few doors up from me, so we had met first around my 7th birthday. A few months later, we were all at the same primary school together. They had all been in infants together too, but I had moved across town and my nan had decided that it was easier to change school with a new school year and the move up to juniors. So, I already knew Joe and Aron who were in my year, Joes older brother Tom, who was two years above us and that some kid called Alex, whose house I had been to his dad was my step dads boss, but it was late and Alex was already in bed so we didn't get to meet. It had already been a tough few months for me ....... in the previous year (which is a bloody long time when you are only 7) I had moved out of dads house as one of his girlfriends wasn't treating me too kindly and I had gone from being a bright and breezy child to not speaking at all and had developed a very nervous disposition, lived in nan and grandads rented house for about 6 months, then moved in to nan and grandads new house, Star Wars happened, mum announced she was marrying Alan ... you can see why I was terrified to suddenly now be at school in a class with none of the few kids I thought were going to be there.....

Of course, kids being what kids are, I got over that ... ooh ... by about playtime ..... and had realised that this Alex kid was in my class so sat next to him .... and that began a friendship that is still going strong (I was his best man a few years back and he and Karen have their second bab on the way as we speak). But as per usual, I digress.......

Aron and I became mates...... not close mates.... he liked football and judo ... I liked tv and Star Wars figures. But we both shared a love for clowning around and pop music. We would make radio plays from famous five books, go to each others house for tea regularly (but only once our mothers had exchanges written notes giving express permission to host or attend. You didn't just turn up or anything, hell no. It was planned well in advance and my mum always made lumpy mash). As junior school became high school, Aron very physically began to change ...and I didn't. We began to play different games .... games where you would have to imagine two 'buttons' somewhere about your person and the other had to poke and prod you to find the on button .... at which point the alarm would go off, meaning that the person being jabbed would wail or as it eventually became after a viewing of Bugsy Malone, repeat 'Tallulah' at the top of your voice. The otter person then had to find the off button as quick as possible. As 11 & 12, became 12 & 13, those buttons ended up some very personal places. And said body contact invoked reactions .. more from Aron than me at first as like I said, he grew up way quicker than I.

It was around this time that I realised what a great asset access to my dads porn was. To be honest, I had been exposed to it from a very young age as it was a main source of income to my family and it was just as blase as Emmerdale Farm or Crown Court to me. And again, I wasn't at an age where my body was reacting to such stuff yet. It just gave me a fuzzy feeling in my balls that I didn't understand, maybe I was gonna pee soon or something. Anyhoo, the guys at school found this VERY cool that I could, when I knew dad was out of teh country (frequently) , let us in, dish out some very hardcore books, and let the chaps read. I'd usually flick at a few pictures, get bored and go make soup or something. But after walking past the bathroom door one time, I noticed Aron was standing in front of the loo, trousers around ankles .. and to my abject horror/first pique of curiosity ... he was playing with himself while reading .... and then he came. Everywhere. I had never seen it happen outside of a film before ..... I was nervous, excited, appalled and a bit sick all at once..... I stopped inviting the boys round for porn sessions after that. But Aron kept asking.

It was always suspected at school that Aron was gay. But nobody ever gave him shot about it. Possibly because he was one of the biggest and strongest lads of our year - a real gentle giant though as he rarely said a word. Well, there was the one time in juniors that some girls were winding him up and he totally spacked out and started throwing desks around .... totalled an entire classroom aged 9. He never had to lift a finger after that, the reputation just followed him .... don't make him angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry.....

So by the summer of 86, we are about to head into our final year at school, Aron works in the newsagents where I have my morning paper round and that summer we spent a lot of time together. Largely because we both get on well with my mum and have a scream all day watching daytime tv .. which was a relatively new concept in the UK then. It had just been schools programmes from 9.00 - midday prior to this. This also involved lazy summer afternoons, lounging around in my room or his, listening to True Blue, and any body contact got us both hard as nails. Even if accidental and through many layers .... but we both noticed and neither commented. I remember the odd occasion where my hand or his would slip and rub against offending attentive genitalia .... through thick jeans ........ and would remain there for a few seconds longer than was comfortable ... and again nothing was said. And that was pretty much how things remained between us until May 1987. The week after I left school. The night my entire life changed forever.

And I shall tell you about it tomorrow.