My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Tuesday, 14 November 2006

Holiday tales pt 1

Ok ... so first and foremost. I am only ever flying Premium Economy ever again for flights over 2 hours. end of.

Our apartment was a sweet affair but only one floor up, which is a shame as I would have liked to have been higher than that .. but I'm nitpicking really.

Saturday 28: arrived, took a walk around I drive. Watched some tv.
Sunday 29 Nov: went for our welcome meeting, waited for Josh to arrive from Minneapolis, did some shopping. Had a KFC. Laughed at how the Americans call scones biscuits.

Monday 30: Universal Studios. Scorching hot day. No queues for any rides! (apart from Jaws which was bout 20 mins and rubbish). Men In Black rules - basically six of you are put into a car and have to shoot things.... you even get your individual score at the end of it. Josh introduced me to Smores. My name is Paul and I'm a smoresaholic.

Tuesday 31/Halloween: Oh my days. We scooted around Islands of Adventure in the daytime .... Dr Seuss landing is a trip and a half .... and that's sober ........ also much loving Duelling Dragons ride and the Poseidon walk around adventure thingy ....... got to meet a few of the X Men and had a bit of a thing for the guy in the wolverine suit ...... it was also this day when I hit a flaw in the whole holiday. You see, a lot of the rides there these days are 3d simulators ... so you don your specs and off you go in your vehicle to get tossed about like a good salad. Each one has a plot to follow, usually with you ending up in mortal peril and saving the day just by being there and the backstory is very nicely laid out for you in clear form as part of the queueing process .... so some rides actually fall a bit flat if you don't have to queue for them ..... like Spiderman (I only really got it second time around when we had a short queue explaining why we were sat in these odd cars roving the city). You see, the landscapes and vistas look amazing in 3d .... animated or otherwise ..... but each time a gun, fist, rock comes 'flying' off the screen towards you, my eyes just hurt and the image became a total blur. Bah! this 3d lark is shite, I found myself thinking until I realised that everyone else was ducking said gun, fist or rock. So its just me that it doesn't work for then? Great! And as I say, it probably accounts for about a third of the rides out there. Oh well. We got so soaked on the Ripsaw ride we had to buy an entire new outfit. If you are going here anytime ...... do not go on Dudley Do Rights Ripsaw unless you are prepared to get VERY VERY wet.

Then we went on to Universals Horror Night. Sweet Jesus I shit my pants.

To start, if you follow the suggested route, you find yourself in a street thick with fog ... not dry ice or smoke but somehow actual fog ..... filled with people on stilts who swoop on you or chainsaw wielding maniacs who stop inches from your face. Bit scary but fun .... especially if you are with someone like Josh who screams and runs from EVERYTHING! There was also a vampire alley that was very cool indeed and a zombie infested street. Josh found the zombies a bit too much until I suggested the Shaun of the Dead approach ... make like zombies ourselves ... and it worked! They ignored us after that. The Bill & Ted show was like totally awesome dudes. Especially the very very gay Magneto and his invisible green suit fx guy ...... The scream houses were what really did me in though. Each one had a particular theme and was basically a five minute walk through with people jumping at you continually and scaring the living shit from you. At one point Josh was actually climbing up my back to try and get out. The one themed around a madhouse was intense .... one room had a guy smeared in poop and he had written up the walls in it. Now, I know darn well they didn't actually smear a guy in his own crap and throw it up the walls ... but the SMELL .... I was about one breath away from throwing up when we got done with that section. Another called Run (based on the Saw and Hostel movies) turned my guts a bit and freaked em out ... especially when the people in front of us stopped moving, leaving us trapped with a 'nutter' wielding tools just to our left. You see, through these scream houses you are constantly on the move in one single file line ..... but its only wide enough for single file so you can only go as fast or slow as the line allows ...... and people ahead might not be wanting to move as quickly as you ...... and that can be fucking terrifying .... feeling very very trapped and your mind tells you you are safe but your heart has control of everything at that point ..... and its great fun. Of course, this was also a great chance to get in a few goes on Men In Black too........

Weds 1: As Dan still had his cold, especially after the ripsaw soaking, I told him to stay home and Josh and I went to a mall. Well, it was America, I just had to. A stunning amount of gay men in Florida have girlfriends you know. I don't know who to feel sorry for most, the guys who don't feel they can be true to themselves or the poor women they are lying to.

Thu 2: Disney's MGM studios. They have knocked down the Golden Girls house! That's all I can say about this day right now .... I need a moment .........



Post a Comment

<< Home