My life, the people in it and any other shit I decide to throw at you.

Friday, 15 February 2008


So I was really not in a good head place, was I?
Well .. thats fixed.
Most people here didnt really know me or have much to do with me when my depression was at its worst. Not because my friends all deserted me or anything but because I (a) hide it quite well and (b) remove myself from them so as not to be a burden. Rach was about the only person I really ever spoke to about it, and she was a marvel and one night in particular, literally a life saver.
One thing I took from that time, was my own strength and bloody mindedness. I wouldnt give in to seeing doctors about it (but probably should have) and point blank didnt believe medication was the answer (ergo, not going near the quacks). So I got myself through it. Day by day, changing small things, enjoying the good things, accepting that with light must come the dark. That was also when I was at the height of practicing Wicca - I dont do so much now, the need has gone and instead of being a big thing to actually do, its just there, a part of me that just happens - kind of like breathing. But now, I recognise the signs. The fog at the back of my head, creeping over my mind and dulling everything, removing things, removing me. It was starting earlier this week but thankfully has gone.
I had a good chat with the managers at Showcase, and they showed me how to make the system tell you how much change to give. And at the end of the shift ..... just 10p out! The relief was huge and instant. It means I can continue to work there and keep improving the finances, without risking my mental health!
All on for ... you know what!


  • At 1:27 am, Blogger Nabu San said…

    Well thank goodness for that. When you take a knock, its really hard to actually get back in the zone again! But you've done great! Hope the job is fun from now on!


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