Going to the Chapel
The first of my siblings got married on Saturday.
Given it was in Newport Pagnell, I thought about using a different route than the M4/M25/M1 combo that I use to Luton.
Multimap wanted to send me up to Birmingham on an M50/M5/M42/M6/M1 route .... but a quick check revealed I could nip under Coventry and cut off the top of the journey and save some time.
It was gloriously hot as we arrived at the church, and I met my new brother in law for the first time.
Dad arrived soon after and handed Dan & i cameras and instructions on what to film. So glad I was there as a guest. He wasn't allowed to travel in the wedding limo (complicated story) so we kept the front of the church clear as there was limited space for the limo to pull in.
Lauren looked stunning. She had gone for a cream and chocolate theme which really worked. The vicar looked a bit like Ellen - and that really should have been all the warning sign I needed.
During the actual ceremony, she managed to bring in a whole speech about sex. You know the usual bit about Gods love and love and marriage being an act of God ... sexual too apparently. I was amused but impressed at this. I later found out that during the rehearsals she had also mentioned that she loved it when her husband gave her orgasms at this point ....
She also managed to point out that both Lauren and David are being made redundant. What a lovely thought for your wedding day. Then during Sing Hosanna ... she charged up and down the aisle clapping and encouraging everyone to sing and dance and clap screaming 'Come on, its a celebration'.
There was also, as she put it 'the legal bit' where the organist struck up a tune, while the happy couple and the witnesses went off to sign shit. The organ wasn't a church one, it sounded like a casio, and was flat a pancake with every third note being slightly off key as it played ...Kiss From A Rose. No, really.
We then headed off to De Vere for the reception meal. I kept saying in a very high and apt voice, call it Bubbles darling .. but nobody seemed to get it.
There was a red carpet laid out upon arrival and champers and fruit juices. One familiar looking dark red drink which claimed it was Cranberry juice, I am sure was actually the mouthwash they give you at the dentists, but since it was that, OJ (repeats on me) or champagne (driving) I managed three glasses.....
Then while I was talking to my brother Aaron and his girlfriend (who it turns out is best mates with Kerry who I used to work with at NTL Luton!), this very strange small woman appeared out of nowhere and began straightening the creases from the red carpet .... 'Ooh look! A Hobbit!' I cried ..... but really .... she barely came up to my nipples and I'm not exactly tall myself!
The meal was lovely, although as it was buffet style, I had both the meat eaters and veggie options without realising it.
Sadly, not long after the speeches, we had to be heading off as I had work at 10.00am Sunday and didn't fancy getting back after a total of 7/8 hours driving and then having little sleep. But it was lovely to catch up with that branch of the family who I haven't really seen in a very long time. Pics on the jolly old facebookage
Got adventurous on the way home. Went MK/Buckingham/Bicester/nearly Oxford/Cheltenham (never been before, dead posh)/sort of Gloucester/Ross on Wye/M50/M4
Man, I sure know how to live.
Given it was in Newport Pagnell, I thought about using a different route than the M4/M25/M1 combo that I use to Luton.
Multimap wanted to send me up to Birmingham on an M50/M5/M42/M6/M1 route .... but a quick check revealed I could nip under Coventry and cut off the top of the journey and save some time.
It was gloriously hot as we arrived at the church, and I met my new brother in law for the first time.
Dad arrived soon after and handed Dan & i cameras and instructions on what to film. So glad I was there as a guest. He wasn't allowed to travel in the wedding limo (complicated story) so we kept the front of the church clear as there was limited space for the limo to pull in.
Lauren looked stunning. She had gone for a cream and chocolate theme which really worked. The vicar looked a bit like Ellen - and that really should have been all the warning sign I needed.
During the actual ceremony, she managed to bring in a whole speech about sex. You know the usual bit about Gods love and love and marriage being an act of God ... sexual too apparently. I was amused but impressed at this. I later found out that during the rehearsals she had also mentioned that she loved it when her husband gave her orgasms at this point ....
She also managed to point out that both Lauren and David are being made redundant. What a lovely thought for your wedding day. Then during Sing Hosanna ... she charged up and down the aisle clapping and encouraging everyone to sing and dance and clap screaming 'Come on, its a celebration'.
There was also, as she put it 'the legal bit' where the organist struck up a tune, while the happy couple and the witnesses went off to sign shit. The organ wasn't a church one, it sounded like a casio, and was flat a pancake with every third note being slightly off key as it played ...Kiss From A Rose. No, really.
We then headed off to De Vere for the reception meal. I kept saying in a very high and apt voice, call it Bubbles darling .. but nobody seemed to get it.
There was a red carpet laid out upon arrival and champers and fruit juices. One familiar looking dark red drink which claimed it was Cranberry juice, I am sure was actually the mouthwash they give you at the dentists, but since it was that, OJ (repeats on me) or champagne (driving) I managed three glasses.....
Then while I was talking to my brother Aaron and his girlfriend (who it turns out is best mates with Kerry who I used to work with at NTL Luton!), this very strange small woman appeared out of nowhere and began straightening the creases from the red carpet .... 'Ooh look! A Hobbit!' I cried ..... but really .... she barely came up to my nipples and I'm not exactly tall myself!
The meal was lovely, although as it was buffet style, I had both the meat eaters and veggie options without realising it.
Sadly, not long after the speeches, we had to be heading off as I had work at 10.00am Sunday and didn't fancy getting back after a total of 7/8 hours driving and then having little sleep. But it was lovely to catch up with that branch of the family who I haven't really seen in a very long time. Pics on the jolly old facebookage
Got adventurous on the way home. Went MK/Buckingham/Bicester/nearly Oxford/Cheltenham (never been before, dead posh)/sort of Gloucester/Ross on Wye/M50/M4
Man, I sure know how to live.
posted by Peter Pan @ 11:26 am
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